What do we say when people ask 'How are you?' I don't want to lie and keep saying 'I'm fine' but I don't want to put them in an awkward situation by saying 'Terribible if you must know!'.
I have the opposite problem. I suffer with polymialgia rhumatica which is controlled with steroids. People don't believe I'm ill, they keep saying how well I look. If only they knew.
Yes, it seems polite in the short term but practically counter productive and morally dishonest. So far I use different forms depending on whom I am talking to. (I cannot remember what I said when I had ME. )
1. If the person knows I have cancer I say, I'm fine/feeling well thanks. The side-effects are still a bit of a pain/nuisance/bore..
2. If the person does not know I have cancer I say I'm feeling well thanks, except for the side-effects from the prostate cancer treatment..
i find that that does the trick. I get few follow up questions. Nor do people avoid me thereafter.
Fine tightrope to walk, what to say to whom.
Yes most people don't believe that I have ME so when they say how are you I don't know what to say!
The thing that I find irritating, is the nursing assistants who comment on how frequently I attend the clinic. I only go as often as the Consultant tells me to go.
I am also irritated when people ask me whether I am better yet. There is no cure and sometimes I feel better than others.
Sometimes, when someone asks me how I am, I say 'yes' - no one appears to have noticed yet!!
I too find it a bit of a problem knowing just how to reaspond.Usually I will say I am fine thanks apart from being tired.
This is accepted,but with IBS and Agoraphobia,just like some other things these are not seen ,therefore you are deemed to be ok.I don`t have a close friend living in the locality,but if I did I would still porbably just say fine thanks.
You know we should all feel able to just say precisely how we are feeling ,yet I feel if we did I know ,for a fact I personally would feel guilty ,thinking I was putting my problems onto them.so how do we get round this ,anyone with sound ideas please do tell
millyimp
xx
Yes, you really need to think how your words will affect the listener. You are not the Red Queen and can insist that you rwords mean whatever you intend them to mean.
Yes, I am sick of this question, in particular from those who know what I have and am still going through. On the one hand I knot example my husband must be tired of hearing me talk about all my pain so I try to hide it, which I know is not healthy. I feel guilty because although it is " for better or worse", he did not sign up for this. With my other family members or close friends, I find that I am more honest if they ask, since they are not around me 24/7 and honestly it probably goes in one ear and out the other as soon as our discussion ends. To answer your question, yes it's very difficult to answer especially if you want to be honest.
I very much doubt if anyone wants a detailed description. However it is vital in the long run that you always give a true but brief indication as to how you are. It takes a lot of thought to start with. With practice you will become skilful.
I never suggested it is easy. An off hand I'm fine will tend to build up unsympathetic attitude towards what you can actually do. Part of the 'lazy' reputation might well be caused this way. I say again, it is worth a lot of thought.
Hi Georgia,
Well, you can always use the sarcastic reply, that I use sometimes! 
'How are you today?' - 'Well, I'm going to the see the Doctor, how do you think I feel stuck in a wheelchair?
In hospital, this always bugs me! People come in and always ask that stupid question.
'How are you feeling today?' - 'Oh, I'm amazing stuck in a hospital bed'
or the real downer....
'I bought you some grapes!' - 'Oh, thanks "Didn't you read the sign ( Nil by Mouth )?'
The best one I had was a locum Doctor... obviously, didn't know me and what I'm like with sarcasm! A female doctor...hehe
Doctor had a big grin on her face and said "What a lovely day it is today sir?"
I replied "I would say that, I'm married and slept with another woman and I think I have an STD!". Her face soon changed, and even her tone of voice! Then I said "I'm joking, you're new here and do not know me like the rest of them!" LOL - after that she never fell for my comments again!
People that know me, know exactly what I'm like. Others soon learn, even when something is getting me down and I'm depressed, I put up a front to hide it. People always think I'm happy and outgoing, - outgoing 'Yes!'.
I seen my Oncologist yesterday, and as soon as he come in, 'Oh here we go, a massage on my nymph glands, Oops! sorry I meant, lymph nodes!" - "Then he said, I knew I recognized you, you're the funny one we had theatre years ago. One person you forget!"
Regards,
Les.
Of course Les, the wheel chair line. Why didn't you say so? You don't have those fool questions any more. Your last friend cleared off, when was it? .,. .er. . .1887? 
LOL... George!
Yesterday, I was freed from Oncology!! 7 years of remission, and Officially, out now! Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!! Mind you, those 7 years passed quickly, considering I can remember my first remission like it was yesterday, even my wife mentioned it yesterday! It was so depressing seeing so many children with cancer from just 3 counties! It is something you do not forget very easily.
How is George today? 
So, nice and hot here, I could strip off and get arrested for having a Mr. Blobby body! hehe
Hi Georgia, I always say to people when they ask how are you doing !!
I say Hanging in there. Its hard when people say you look great , nice of them to say, I wish i felt that way too.
JACKIE
That does my head in so much Jackie when people say I look great but I don't feel great! I usually say thank you and want to hit them!
Know what you mean, saying 'yes' is easier for them.
Now that IS worth smiling about, Les. I am so glad for you.
((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
and yyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,!!
absolutly marvellous..
((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
and yyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,
Good bye remission
Hello. CURE. YES YES YES CURE. 
yes yes.
What's the point of giving true but brief indications when they can't help and it might unsettle them?
Actually, when I'm on Facebook and someone says 'How are you?' I just reply with 'Fine thanks, u?" and then they give me a rundown on how bad they are!!! Really, ironic!!
Guess next time I should say "Read my latest book!"....LOL
Regards,
Les.