Hi Frustrated,
I look at it as, if my wife was not here - who would I turn to... On my side of the family all I have is my one brother, I lost my mother in 2004 and my father in 2008. My brother and I keep in contact by phone, since he is around 160 miles from me. At the moment he has his own problems going through a big divorce battle, which is very messy involving his disabled son, house and alot in assets. That was a 17 year marriage, I was shocked when he phoned me wayback this year to say what was going on. There is a lot going on in the case, including blackmail - his ex-wife to be is trying all angles, to get sympathy but social services were brought in, it's a long story...
I try as much as I can to be dependent, but it is very difficult when your mobility is impaired that I cannot even use a zimmer or even a quadstick. Basically, I fought to the end with my mobility, first the standard walking stick, quadstick, zimmer, quadseat-push-along, wheelchair self steer (that was a nightmare) and even an electric chair - the trouble what my brain signals to do and which muscles function is where I fail. If I try and turn left, I go right - this on a public path or road is just an accident waiting to happen. In the house I try to use the zimmer most of the time, or rely on walls. I refused any form of walking aid at the start, stupid really, I fell numerous times, but I didn't like the way people look at you, if you look different than normal. It was getting over that initial stage. Nowdays, I wouldn't go anywhere without the aids. We had to get a larger car to take just some of my aids, and we had to pay a £499 deposit. I receive DLA at the high rate, so in my case it was a good investment, considering what has happened in the past.
When I read what you put about my wife being a saint, it is very true, she has to look after me 24/7 which is not easy, and administering some medications years ago by rectal tubes I would find difficcult. I often think what life would be like without my wife, and thought deeply about what she has to do, it's then when you think that carers are not paid enough for what they have to do on a daily basis, and all our gov't pays them is just over £60 a week. A carer in my eyes is worth their weight in gold is very true.
I have no reason to be bitter about anyone, if anyone asks a question that I know about from experiencen then I see if I can help them. There is enough bitterness in this world than adding to it - we see it daily on TV, no I don't watch Tv all day either...lol I try and keep myself occupied, but I cannot sit or lie in one position for too long, or my joints start aching.
Regards,
Les.