Does anyone feel hopless?

Hi just found this site, don't know if anyone will reply to this and for some reason bit scared of postin it (but tend to be scared of most things at the moment for no reason). I have suffered from depression for 4 years now, which isn't that long but has felt like a lifetime. I have been on flueuxatine (think thats how u spell it) which made me feel worse which made me hurt myself so the dr quickly took me off it. For the most part I have been on mirtazapine, which the first time I took it helped me alot but then it seemed to stop helping me. Was on the highest dose of mirtazapine and still felt no different so the dr gave me sentraline.

It took me a week and a half to start takin them as I get scared when I start new tablets (mainly because of the effect the fluexatine had on me). Only took my second tablet today and I know it takes a couple of months for them to kick in, but I suppose Im just lookin for a little bit of hope. I feel like this is just something I am never goin to get rid of and no matter how hard I try it keeps coming bak and each time it does it gets harder to cope with. I would just like to know if anyone has ever properly got over this or is it something that just hangs over you forever? I feel so alone and hopeless and I just want to feel normal again, I'm sick of feeling like this and just wish it would all go away and I could be happy. I just feel so useless and angry with myself all the time. I either don't sleep or sleep for hours, don't eat or eat everything I can and am petrified of leavin my house if I am alone (which most of the timeI am as I live alone), I even panic if someone knocks on my door when I am not expecting anyone. I just feel so pathetic and worthless and want to scream at myself get over it, but it just won't go away. Does any of this make sence to anyone? As I feel so alone, theres only so much u can tell ur friends and family about this without them thinkin ur crazy, which most of the time I feel I am anyway.I'm sorry to go into such a rant but feel that no one understands me. I also really need some reassuranse that this tablet does help as I am just gettin tired of the whole situation and what feels like a constant fight. Hopefully there is someone out there who feels or has felt the same way and understands (althought I don't wish this feelin on anyone, because its the worst thing I have ever experienced and just won't seem to go away). If you took the time to read this, thank you and if you have felt the same then please reply and let me know if sentraline (or any other tablet) has worked for you.

Hello I have just read your message. I was feeling simalar to you. I was scared to go out on my own,could not answer the door or pick up the phone and it dose feel like you are inprisoned within your own illness. Take heart, after suffering with anxiety for 7 months and trying to overcome the illness my doctor gave me Sertraline. Your right you will have to be patience and roll with the medication ,as I started to feel better after 6/8 wks of taking the med every day,please dont do what some people do and up, or change the dose,without consulting your dr first. Just take what your dr tells you and you will get better, I did'nt think I was ever going to be normal again but this wk I returned to work after 7 months off. Also have a word with your dr about counselling to help you sort out your feelings of anger with yourself It really dose help,I'm undergoing counselling and will be for a couple of months yet.You must stay very positive, there's no room for negativaty thats one of the key factors in getting better. All I know is that thinking positive taking the med and counselling really dose the trick, It may be harder some days but you have it in you to recover from this, and you will beat it. If you need any futher support have a read through http://experience.patient.co.uk/discussion.php?t=24191 on this web site. Lucky. :D

Hi, sorry to hear your not felling to good but your not alone. I am on Sertraline and I think it works well. I suffer from severe panic attacks and episodes of depression. It has taken down the physical effects that panic gives you i still feel irritable as though one is coming on but none of the other horrible other symptons come on i.e. racing heart, hot flushes, fear of being sick, fear of fainting/fitting.

How many mg are you on?

Hope this helps

Boog xxxx

Hi, I feel exactly the same. It's so good to find this site and realise you're not alone in how you feel. I got the courage to go to the doctors a couple of weeks ago and was diagnosed with anxiety and pnd. My son is 14 months old and I just kept hoping these feelings would go away. I think I'm honets I have felt like this since my teens (I'm 29) but having a baby brought it all to a head. I have been on sertraline for 11 days and really hope it makes me feel better soon. It's good to read the positive stories on this site and to know other people feel the same as you.

Hi I would just like to thank the people who took the time to read my post and reply to it. I still don't feel any different on the sentraline although it only is like the third day and I know it takes a few months to really help. I just wanted to reply and say thank you cause altough I still feel the same, I feel comforted by the fact that there are people who understand how I feel and who don't just think that it is a phase that will pass. I don't surpose those people will ever understand how it feels (and I would never wish it on them, ever) but I sometimes wish I could somehow show them how it feels, just so they can understand (am I making sence? I don't mean that they would feel like this, I just mean I wish there was some way to show them). It makes me angry when the people around me try to down play how I feel, I don't think they mean it at all and think that they are just tryin to help but it kind of makes you feel like the way your feelin is insignificant (I don't know if that makes sence to anyone, I'm probably just rambling again). I surpose though that theres no real way to tell people that every night you dread going to bed because you know you won't be able to sleep (and altough your body is tired your mind is wide awake) so you stay up as late as you can until you are so tired that you have to go to bed and once in bed your wide awake again until another hour or two passes and you eventually fall asleep. You don't wake in the morning because you went to bed around 7 am so you wake in the late afternoon, but when you do open your eyes the dread hits you and you can't bare getting out of bed as you don't want to face another day of feeling this way and just think whats the point. So you go bak to sleep until you eventually have to get up and face another day. I don't know if this makes sence to anyone and I know everyone around me just thinks I am being lazy as I do get comments or jokes about my sleeping and I laugh when they say it, but I really think you have no idea how I feel and if you did you wouldn't say that. I want to scream look its not a case of being lazy, I just don't wanna face another day feeling so...sad, upset, angry, confused, uniterested, scared, alone, obsessive, pathetic, weak, a failure, like I have let people down, embarresed, crazy, wierd, and well just nothing, blackness or emptyness (I really don't know how would be best to describe it to be honest). I know this site is about your experiences on sertaline and as yet I don't have an experince to share about it (except from the jaw clenching, dry mouth and sicky feeling...lol whats that all about, as if people that are on these drugs don't feel bad enough its like ooh lets give them some side effects to take their minds off things lol. sorry just trying to add in a little humour as I am starting to pity anyone still reading this as I have really outdone myself talkin here lol). Anyway back to my point, if I had one....oh yeah as I said I don't have experiences to talk of on sertaline (as yet, but hopefully soon will have, fingers crossed) but I just wanted to say all this in case someone stumbles across this site and reads this and feel the same way I do, because I know how relieved I felt when I saw that people had very kindly read and replyed to my posting and I just want to say thank you, I am so grateful to you for that. It kinda makes you feel like, oh good i'm not going crazy....or if you are your not the only one (lol just kidding). Anyway I have rambled on for long enough here and I am sorry, altough I don't expect anyone to actually get to the bottom of this page as it must be huge by now. But to the people who replyed I just wanna say thank you again and that I hope everyone feels better soon as you are lovely people Thank you x

I managed to get to the bottom of the page! I really sympathise with how you are feeling and it's so hard to explain to people how you feel. I'm sure my husband doesn't understand why I panic about driving on my own into town or feel nervous about answering the phone no matter how hard I try to explain. I was lucky to have a very good GP who listened and said that she treats me the same way she would if I had an open wound....except mine are on the inside.

I too had a weird clenchy (is that a word smile ) jaw thing and felt sicky the first week but that is much better. Still feel sicky now and again. I do feel really panicky today and don't really want to talk to anyone. It's hard to know if that is side affects or the depression/anxiety. On the plus side I can actually sit through dvds and happily read books which I couldn't do a couple of weeks ago as I'd be stressed out I should be doing other things and had no concentration.

It's good you've recognised it's going to take months to feel better. We all wish there was that magic button to feel better eh smile

Hi everyone, I just want to say thank you for managing to get to the bottom of the page lol a do go on sometimes, sorry. How are you feeling? I hope eveyone is feeling better soon and my heart goes out to everyone suffering this torture. Feeling a little more posative today and just wanted to try and spread that smile (hopefully it will last until tomorrow although a never can tell as one min a feel a bit better like a can manage and cope with things and a will get over this and the next a am a wreck, weak but full of anger, tiered but wide awake and again like a crazy person living in a sane persons world). Anyway a won't dwell on the things a usually feel as a feel quite up beat at the moment and thats all that counts for now.

Take care and hope you all feel better, big hugs x

All I can say its stick with it* stick with it* stick with it*!!!

I was suffering terrible anxiety, and I started taking sertraline, it got worse for the first week, but in the third week i started to notice a difference and by the 6th week I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

It doesn't work overnight, and you have to take it as directed - but it has worked for me.

I was a bit silly and thought I could drink and still be OK, but please dont do it, it does appear to make it less effective.....

Good Luck - you are not alone!!

smile

Hi its me,

Thank you so much for replying smile Thank you for your advice and I will stick with it. You answered a question that I had been asking ma self too, bout drinking. I haven't drank any alcohol since I have started taking sertraline but I was wondering if you could drink with it? Now that lately I have been in the mood for a night out or having friends round for a drink. But I was just wondering for when I do feel like it, would it make me not well?

Thanks for your help, take care, big hugs x

Hi

Have just started taking sertraline after being in denial really!! I,m a busy mum with 6 year old twins, & three stroppy teenagers , oh & a loveley husband, & i work part-time as a receptionist I have been poorly (anxiety, palputations, fatigue, aches & pains, mind racing) for a number of months but me thinking i,m \"SUPERWOMAN\" just carry in until I'v eventually BURNT OUT!! I have had some blood test which have revealed problems with my thyroid, & this can have a big impact on depression & all the other things i'm experiencing, so i think once they get this sorted it will help with evrything else i'm experiencing. However I was on sertraline before for three years when my twins were born & i was finding it very difficult to cope, they gave me a new lease of life ( twins & tablets!!) so persevere & remember you're no alone in how you're feeling. Keep that chin up!! smile smile

I have been down for a few years but over the past couple of years i have been prescribed a couple of anti-depressants but i did the silly thing of going cold turkey and coming off tablets all together. Now its back with avengance and had to go to dr.s who prescribed me sertraline, so fingers crossed.

I ca totally relate to the posts on here and hope to get some postivity n my life again

:roll: hi ive just been prescribed sertraline today, i wasnt given anyinformation about the drug. So decided to look it up, fell across this site. Its strange reading your own thoughts and feelings, but theyre not your own, but everything the emotions the confusion the fear the fustration was all described. I dont know how i feel anymore, fed up the confusion and the repeated attempts to feel happy, normal, not sure what this is anymore, im unrecongnisable to myself. I never thought after i managed to get on with my life for 3years, i would feel like this again. Ive not taken any tabs for 3years - im afraid to start again.

This time last year i was given fluexatine for anxiety and depression that came from nowhere; completely out of the blue. I took them for about 6 months before tapering off them. I couldn't really tell you when they started to work only i felt better within a couple of months. I was keen to come off them after 4 months but was ensured by my GP that i should continue to avoid a lapse. I have recently gone back onto them after my grandfather passed away - when the feelings immediatley returned. I hope that you feel better soon as what you are going through (and what i ahve experienced myself) is an awful grey feeling and is something i would not inflict upon my own worst enemy. I have not ever talen any other form of anti depressent as fluextine have seemed to work for me.

Stick with it. Things WILL get better. xx

:lol: thank you for being honest dont give up .

Helllo Hopeless,

Its approx 3 years since your post ..I'm curious ,How are you ? i have been suffering SUFFERING !! with depression for 6 long months now ...I feel ..scared ..no longer me ! i used to work ,go out with friends ,do things with my bf ...Now i cant enjoy life ! i dont know how to just be anymore sad i used to enjoy housework and now i sit and look and look at what needs doing day in and day out ! i cant shower i cant get out the door ! i dont enjoy watching movies anymore sad God i just want me back !! I dont want life to be an effort anymore I just want to wake up and not think oh i have to get through today ...I think no longer working is playing a huge role now ... i have nothing to do ! at times i start to panic because i just cant stand the nothing ! i panic and feel overwhelmed ...How long is living going to be such a conscious thing sad i would love you to respond OR anyone respond PLEASE i need HOPE ......Oh im taking 60mg of mirtazapine but asking my doc tomorrow to wean me off and try something else like sertraline because what im taking at the moment seems to be making me flat ,tired Uninterested ...Thank you in advance to whom ever takes the time to read my post and respond,xxxx

I'm sorry it's so late but I've only just read this... you are really not alone and I definitely know how you feel on this one... it's something I'm going through myself at the moment and have been for a year or so due to my dad having a mini-stroke in October about a year and a half ago... It's just the fear that it will happen again even though he's on a lot of medication to prevent it from happening again...

Although I never feel suicidal and never have been I do think that my family, friends and boyfriend would be better off without me as I feel like a waste of space half the time, and all I seem to do is cry and get annoyed at myself for being so distraught over practically nothing... I really hate what I've become and don't know how to get out of this state of mind... I tried St. John's Wort which did make me feel happy but I stopped taking it as I thought I could cope without it, but obviously that didn't plan out so well lol...

So today I went to the doctor and talked to her about my depression and anxiety and how I'm having trouble sleeping etc., in which she got me to fill out a depression / anxiety test which proved 100% I am clinically depressed (which of course I already knew), but it made me feel worse because my mom came with me and she obviously heard about the statement that I think people would be better off without me... I just can't stand feeling alone anymore and upset, or having these shitty thoughts keep going through my mind that aren't true and I've tried to be strong for too long and I can't do it anymore... I've finally come to accept that I need real help which is what I'm going to get now after being prescribed Sertraline... Tonight will be the first night so hopefully it will do me some good and I can finally get a decent night's sleep without waiting to go to bed at stupid hours just so that I know I will go to sleep...

But apparently depression is something you never get rid of, it is something that can stay with you for the rest of your life but even if you do get rid of it, it will always come back... I'm sorry to say it but it is a possibility but just keep on your feet, keep your head held high and don't stop fighting, because it is something you can beat easier the next time around...

hello artsycaaat ,

How are you ? Im back to my old happy self again !! thanks to meds and time !! gosh i never want to be in that dark place ever again ,,plz take care and reply if u feel the need to talk xxx

Heya,

I'm just starting the higher dose of 100mg and I can totally relete to your feeling of being hopefully, for the first 2-3 weeks I felt like a total failure, having been signed off work, I felt SO guilty because my partner had to carry on working whilst I sat at home, I still do feel incredibly guilty most days because he's working his butt off and I just sit here trying to get myself better.. That feeling does die down though, after the 3rd week for me I started noticiing a difference in my behaviour, usually I get stressed out by anything even the little things will stress me out and my anxiety will kick in and i'll start getting sweaty and annoyed for no reason, that's pretty much gone now! - The only stuff that's still with me is the negative thoughts and the feeling that it's a CONSTANT BATTLE in your head, the "no dont bother whats the point" versus the "DO IT!" - Listen to the do it! - You have to stick with it.

I was being typical and thought the tablets weren't working by week 2, but now i'm on my 4th week I can start to feel the effects, I do have off days though, im sure you do too, we just have to stick together and positive thinking smile there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and depression is NOT a life long illness, it is a temporary set back smile - it will end, and you will beat it smile

Hi, I was hopeless I was living in a TREADMILL, day after day of sadness, pretending I was fine, it was getting harder and harder to hide. I hated living. And I started drinking everyday trying to relax after yet another horrible day at work. Then stop drinking thinking this will solve the problem, and I started to take as many pills as I could to forget who I was to stop the head. After a year I was worse, then tried severall treatments and a month started SERTRILENE, and MY LIFE CHANGED razz , I woke up from a nightmare, I was missing in life, the voice stopped. I thought it was normal feeling depressed and that It was me that was causing those feelings it was my fault i could not cope like others, i was not positive enough, and now I know it was not me really, was the SEROTONINE DEFFICIENCY, that was driving me mad rolleyes . I was trying to get up everyday and failed, I really tried so hard and could not understand why I could be in the best place with people I loved, and inside thinking I hate my life, I just want to get high to forget I exist. was blocked ... and so frustrated like I could not enjoy good moments, as I knew later I would be suffering lone, and thinking people are getting tired of me, will end up alone, etc.... but SERTRALINE WORKS idea , i am scared to stop taking them now, sometimes i can feel the switch is turning back on...and get nervous. The doctor told me I would be for a while on them and then little by little trying to come of it and see how I respond, otherwise I will have to take it for a long time.... I AM SCARED OF WALKING WITHOUT CRUTCHERS... but I am LUCID now, i think can make it, IF I CAN LIVE IN HELL evil SURELY IT HAS TO BE EASIER TO LIVE IN HEAVEN lol , we can live on the other side of the fence and Sertrilene will help you cross, THE MISSING SEROTONINE IS BACK AND SAVED MY LIFE biggrin

I am so glad ive found this forum, I've been taking setraline for around three years now. i did come off it for a while but as it makes me feel so sickly in the beginning i find it easier just to stay on it and change the level of dosage.

At the moment i am taking 150mg for my panic attacks, setraline is amazing but I think that ive been making myself quite poorly as i still drink on this medication. If i have a few drinks im fine but to much makes me panicky again and i feel depressed, i never really put the two together until reading all your posts, so thankyou x