ok i get it ..we get older ,we no longer get our period or like some, have a period but its messed up..so we either are in peri. menapause or post menapause. or when younger suffered with pms too..so now everything falls apart just cuZ we no longer have a period?? hormones have that much control over our bodies that we feel like shi... everyday?? why only a few of us when i know so many women my age who only had a few hot flashes and are done. me..i got it all and trying very hard to not take meds..so every new ache or anxiety x 1000 is hormones?? this lasts for 10 years?? what ever happened to our golden years?? this is pure hell..
Morning Jaynie, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I do not believe a single one of these women who only say they’ve had a few hot lashes and that’s it. BS! There’s no way physically or scientifically that that is possible. Some women are too prideful to talk about it, or are ashamed because they have that stigma etched in their head that menopause is when you get old, wrinkly fat and ugly blah blah blah blah blah. I don’t believe it… I’ll never believe it, a womans hormones cannot be that depleted and it not affect them. Plus you have a lot of women out there that wanna make their lives look perfect, like they just breeze through everything, I’m calling BS. I think something is going on with the barometric pressure because I have been having terrible terrible aches and pains for well over two weeks now. especially in my shoulders and my shoulder blades down the center of my spine ..wtf! and then you also have women who are on HRT but lie about it and say they’re not that they just had a couple heart flashes and everything is just rainbows and butterflies! LIARS! I had a friend say that to me weeks ago when I asked her how she did with it because she’s several years older and that’s what she said she only had a few hot flashes… And then she said how about you. I didn’t even answer her back because I knew it was a lie! and she is the type that wants to make her life look perfect. Women who do that, that’s not women empowerment and it’s not doing any other women any favors. So thats my answer to that, Jaynie 
I know it seems never ending at times. It’s actually 20 years, like a friend of mine said one day when I saw her at the store. You go through 10 years of Peri and 10 years of meno/post meno, thats 20 years knocked off our lives. FO REALS ;);( Hang in there :);
Hi, I have been checking in here for awhile but haven’t started commenting til now. I wanted to add that many women are likely having symptoms that they are told by their Doctors are not related to perimenopause. And they mistakenly trust their Doctors who seem to think women’s life magically start to overwhelm them in middle age.
When I started having issues right after turning 40 and was told by several Doctors it was anxiety and/or depression, I started asking my older sisters about their experiences and researching on the web which thankfully brought me here. I thought I was dying or losing my mind.
One sister was on antidepressant, anxiety and sleeping pills since early 40s but she never thought about hormone changes because her Doctor just wrote the prescriptions and she didn’t do research herself. Years later she had a very hard time getting off the antidepressant Doctors are so quick to prescribe. If anyone informed women of what to expect, they could manage it better instead of thinking they are dying or their life fell apart suddenly for no reason.
Everything is "stress, depression or anxiety " but they never believe you when you say you did not have a stressful life or anything to be depressed about before you started falling apart. I am having a rough time but so glad I didn’t take the prescriptions written for me because I had no anxiety or depression until all this crap started lol. Hang in there, we are all on a roller coaster.
Rainbow yes I definately agree with you. I know women that are having what they think are " so called other health symptoms" and some of these symptoms are what alot of us women mention on here. But these other women are being treated with meds for what Dr is telling them is something else but I think is really perimenopause /menopause.
yes u are so on point..tgat is all they think drs i mean..after all that science has come to they have no idea about menapause. let alone pms..you are right if we were warned or even told about what will happen to some of us i think we as women would be prepared and be able to cope. after all we have pushed humans from our bodies. lol
hello lisa
i was reading through your comment and saw that you are having pain in your shoulders and down your spine area get you plz let me no if the pain also spread to the sides of your back and ribs I’ve been having this pain for a week but it’s more on my upper back and ribs this is something i got last month before my period but it last only a day never this long can this be another symptom of this peri hell I’ve gotten so many symptoms i stopped counting!!!
hey Marisol, man I am telling you I am having a bout with this. I’ve probably mentioned before as I sound like a broken record, I am post menopause three years now. Right when you think you’re out of a certain area Bam your back into it. This pain is so bad that literally I feel like going to the ER. I also have fibromyalgia and the heat and humidity here is horrible so I don’t know if that’s affecting it. It’s in my neck but more in my shoulders my shoulder blades down my arms and into the hands. It was into predominately the left hand and the funny thing is I’m right handed. it’s like I think Robin said it’s such a pain like a bruise but it’s even more than a bruise it feels like I’ve been in a car accident. I’m sorry you are having this also. In answer to your question, it’s not my lower back it’s my upper back also same as you. I have a lot of the rib pain but especially more so when I wear an underwire bra which I had to yesterday because I had a birthday party to go to and I was in pure hell the whole time. could not wait to get home and rip my clothes off and that bra. I have said I’m going to have a bra burning party… I’ve been saying that for years …but I have yet to do it. I told my husband today I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I mean it’s so hot outside you can’t even go outside and we already feel isolated as it is… GRRRR I think I mentioned this before if you have a nice bathtub which I don’t I’m 6 foot two so my bathtub is tactically too small to soak in. But if you have a nice bath tub take a nice long absent salt bath. you will feel so much better when you get out. Also get the nice little gel ice packs and literally put them under your breast so that they rest on your ribs, that feels terrific and helps greatly. I also have a heating pad that goes on Massage Therapist‘s table, it’s the full length of your body and you put it underneath your fitted sheet. That also feels wonderful but of course that could also throw you into a hot flash, double edge sword. i’m really sorry you’re having this pain, I know it’s no fun. you know there is that quote from the Bible, “this too shall pass,” but I’d like to know when, it’s been years and years and years. sorry to be such a downer but it’s a difficult day today. I also am having trouble lifting my arms over my head the pain is so bad. I guess we just need to breathe deep hang in there … i’m with you !!
EPSON SALT bath, i’m dictating of course it misspelled the word sorry.
I can’t help but wonder if we ARE actually having a worse time than older generations due to something in the modern lifestyle…longterm bcp usage? Chemicals in our food production? Or if there is some common denominator for the unfortunate women that have wild/early symptoms.
I have read that petite women and women that have never given birth may have a tough time but it sounds like many women on here are mothers so there goes that theory.
My hormone specialist said that in his practicing he has noticed that petite women tends to have more symptoms. He says it may be because with larger women the estrogen tends to hide in the fat..which during perimenopause they have more estrogen than a petite woman. I don’t know if it’s any truth to that but i am a petite woman and it’s been miserable for me.
Interesting, I am petite too and it’s been miserable. My cycle got shorter down to 21 days starting 2.5 years ago. I only feel decent 1 week of the month and then the madness starts again. I have been experimenting with DIM, Vitex and cyclical natural progesterone pills. Everything I try makes 1 thing better and 3 things worse 
i never had any symptoms ..i went to dr at 42 when my periods stopped and i hadnt had one for a year to be told i was post meno..i was shocked..maybe i never noticed but i had no symptoms at all..my periods just got lighter then stopped…im 52 now so ten yrs post and have suffered with anxiety insomnia dizziness and achy back .neck and shoulders last couple of years..so i think it may have got me a bit now.i did cry a lot to..
i must be coming to the end then 
im ten yrs post meno at 52 ..tff that
they gave me hrt for my bones and i had to stop it as it put me in hospital..
Rainbow how old are you? I’m 53 and my symptoms started in 2017 . My periods were on time until then. Then last year I started skipping months..the longer I’ve gone is almost 8 months and just got one last month and all misery hits BIG again. Like you i had about 1 good month but I noticed the longer I started to go into the months of missing I actually started to feel better. Yes! same with me i tend to do better with out taking anything..anything I take that tempers the hormones will make me much worse. So I try to be very careful of that. When I was taking DIM it was bringing my estrogen down too low so I had to stop and the vitex makes
my back cramps and feel like my period wants to come on so i stopped it too. At first I had no idea what was causing the cramps and as soon as i stopped the Vitex the cramps stopped. Progesterone cream does the same. Someone mentioned to me about the progesterone oil it goes in the mouth under the tongue. I may try it.
I will be 43 in Dec. 
Interestingly, this all started within a month of turning 40. I did a 1/2 marathon in Jamaica the month before it started. Along with cycle changing to 21 days, I was having major bloating, heart palpitations or panic attacks after eating, nausea and constipation . I thought I picked up a parasite or Candida with the extra vacation drinking. Went to a gastroenterologist and was put on reflux rx, told I had SIBO and given antibiotic for that but nothing helped. I went on a probiotic and cleaned up diet, the stomach issues went away but new ones emerged like very low libido, dark/course facial hair growth, massive hair shedding, mood swings and insomnia especially the 10 days before period. Gyno says hormone levels are "normal ".
Some symptoms seem to come and go, that’s when I found the list of 66 perimenopause symptoms and saw I had most symptoms at one point or another.
I think my hormones fluctuate month to month and that’s why everything I have tried works for a little while. Like progesterone cream worked the months I didn’t ovulate but then when I did ovulate it was too much and threw me off balance again. Impossible to fix, I wish it would just end already:)
I was hoping to at least somehow extend my cycle back to 28 days so it wasn’t fluctuating so frequently but haven’t been able to do that.
yep it’s no fun that’s for sure! I started peri around 48 periods stopped at 52 so full menopause then and had terrible hot flushes especially in the evening and at night, I now take
menoleive natural black cohosh in the morning and Clonidine from my doctor at night and I am 90% better but still feel batshit crazy and anxious a lot of the time hope it doesn’t last much longer. I feel I’m just invisible and existing if that makes sense?
Hi LISA, You hit the nail on the HEAD! Gotta be fake! I’m a real lady and I KNOW it can’t just be the ladies on these forums. Also you described another symptom that I thought was only me. You stated ache down your spine… I feel that almost daily along with the brain fog. It’s the most bothersome. Has your dr said anything about the spinal feeling that you have? I love all you honest and beautiful ladies! X
Hey Crystal… I know I had a strong opinion on that and I hope I didn’t offend anybody. But I’m sorry… there’s just no way possible that your body is making like a quarter of the hormones that it used to and your reproductive system is literally literally shutting down and you’re gonna have a couple hot flashes and that’s it. If that’s the case, then they’re already on something that is helping it, that they didn’t realize, like an anti-depressant. these women that flip their hair and act like they just breeze through life, come on, I can only deal with transparent honest people FO REALS;)
How interesting that you mentioned parasites and candida. My main issues started with my digestion and at one point it got better and now back to dealing with digestion again. I have severe food sensitivities and lost so much weight. and can’t seem to gain any back. My naturopath said that most of my issues were coming from parasites, candida and heavy metals. I had amalgams fillings and I got them all removed ..my symptoms improved alot afterward. So at this point I dont know what is causing what.