I would just like some advice if possible, for years now I have had low self esteem and felt like no one really likes me I only have a few friends and never talk to people I hardly know to get to know anyone better, I avoid social situations like parties or social events because I feel I like look stupid (what I'm wearing) or that I will say something stupid! If I do go out I spend most of the next day thinking about what I said to people, thinking back at conversations replaying it wishing I said it differently or didn't say anything at all. I always think the worst is going to happen, I hate taking photos of myself and rarely let anyone take one of me because I always look terrible on them. I worry about my health a lot and think that I'm going crazy because of these thoughts in my head. If my child cries in a public place I get very flustered and irritate thinking people will be thinking I'm a bad mum your son is crying so something! I don't want to go to my doctor and have to explain everything I'm just wondering what this sounds like to others so opinions would be very grateful
Sounds like it to me, maybe a bit of depression too, it might take some courage but i would go and see the doctor. The futures bright, good luck.
Hi Lisa,
It does sound like anxiety/depression,I often feel that way,however I'm sort of through that at the moment,and am hoping that things stay that way.
What I wear has never bothered me,nor photos,but I always have been shy,and at 64 it's still the case at times,so I have very little faith in what I say,so remain taciturn,unless I lose my temper,and then i spit it out.
Your low self-esteem will be a problem,and I really do think you should see a GP and explain how you feel,no shame in that,you could get counselling or he may give you an anti-depressant,depends on your GP's attitude to your problems.
I also relay conversations in my head,and try to guess what might be said in a future conversation,it's like a record stuck in the same old groove,my wife thinks I'm paranoid,probably am,but despite all of this and other ailments I have I try to remain happy.
I think it's hard for mothers when you have worries,there's enough to do beside,but I bet you're a good mum,some mums out there couldn't care less about their children.
Somehow you've got to get out of this,I suggest see your doctor,but for now immerse yourself in something that concentrates your mind,I do cryptic crosswords and watch old TV series on Youtube,I find reading difficult because I can't stay focussed and reread paragraphs,weird really,but my mind is never really quiet,peace is sometimes very difficult to find.
Oh yes exercise as well,nothing too severe,walks,cycling whatever and try meditation,lots of options for you.
Anyway,enough,look from how you write,I know how you feel,but tolerate it and work on changing how you approach a certain situation,without thinking the worst will happen,start now!
Mail me any time you feel like it,if it helps,and good luck,you can do it,you know!
Regards Malc
Hi Lisa
have you always been like this?has it worsend since you had your child?i would see your g.p i had postnatal depression after both my boy's it was left untreated and i am getting treatment 17 years later i wish i had asked for help sooner take care x
Hello Lisa, you are most welcome here and you are among fellow travellers and friends.
You can feel better, but you will need help to get there. I have been at the bottom of the pit and could not see the point of , well, anything. With help I can tell you I moved out of that place. So I know you can feel better ( did I already say that?). One useful tip for me was to find one positive thing and say it over to myself. Do it in public and people will think you are strange 
. No GP appointment needed, you can think of one now perhaps.
I was in a little plane a while back, and I discovered the pilot going through a version of this, out loud. We had lost power and I was just about to implode with anxiety, instead I giggled.
D.
Hi, your low self-esteem and your fear of social situations; just wondering if you have experienced validation/acceptance for who you are in your earlier years? A lack of the above can lower your self-esteem. If you had been used to hearing critical comments as a child you are more likely to continue to criticise yourself - see yourself in a negative light. Maybe you are being judgemental towards yourself which leads you to think that others 'must' be judging you in the same way?
How about writing down all of the positive things you recognise in yourself, to start with. It might make you feel uncomfortable but if you can stick with it, maybe one good thought about yourself a day. Where do this words come from that put you down? Give them back to where they came from, these words do not belong to you. I wish you well