Was prescribed sertraline 5wks ago but side effects were unbearable but they did stop the bad thoughts of harm, I'm now on fluoxetene and I've told doctor it's doing nothing for me but was met with far from a sympathetic view, I don't want to go on like this anymore my girlfriend don't deserve this.
its not your fault you feel the way you do so get that out of your head,you need to go back to the docs and say that the tablets dont work,if your girlfriend loves you she will stick by you as will you with her when she needs support,BE STRONG AND KEEP FIGHTING THE FIGHT
If people around you deserve your good bits then they have to try and help or at least put up with your bad times
Try Escitalopram and Quetiapine.
You have to face your fears. Most likely you have some type of dissociation from childhood.
You need to heal your inner child. pay attention to your dreams and go deep, inquiry when all started, and why these thoughts of self-harm come up.