Ive been struggling with anxiety for about 12 years now along with all the nice things that go hand in hand with it like depression and depersonalisation etc etc etc . Its been up and down at times. Been at my lowest point the last few years though. I feel like a completey different person to who I was was. I use to be out going and confident. Now I dont leave the house. I do see an Occupational therapist every few weeks.
My question is.
Is it normal for me to not want to get better?
Yes because you've been going through for so long but you don't want to get better but eventually you will 
Why don't you want to get better if you dont mind me asking Hun? Your worth it just like any other person and deserve to feel happy and healthy mentally and physcially. I can understand how draining it must get because I've had depressin myself and my husband has BPD so he struggles with his illness on a daily basis, but there are sways to grt better, there are ways to move forwards.
Thanks for the replies. I guess the reason I dont want to get better is because of how hard ive tried in the past. Every time I do make progress I end up slipping back further each time. It may not sound like it but I'm actually a pretty happy cheerful person in general but lately I'm not sure if its just an act. It was a dream I had last night that prompted me to write this. The subconcious can really kick you teeth.
I can understand it's making you feel like that. But remember dreams often have the reverse meaning to and they can just be from how you are feeling inside right now. The painful process of feeling depressed can trigger dreams. Try not to look into it to much. Have you truce any types if meditations? I've been doing them everyday now fur6 months and have found that it's helping me no end