My partner comes home today from his lhr, so I'm 4 weeks ahead and already he is trying to outdo me! He's expecting me to do for him as he had done for me but I'm getting the sense of frustration from him that he can't do things himself. I've told him it's only a short time that he will need help but I sense fireworks:-(
Watch this space
Should be interesting!
I just posted my day 5 update, but it's been caught in moderation. I must have accidentally said something wrong! But it does touch on this. I am home two days, live on my own, and today I have "sacked" my trusty friend who has been living with me to "help". I made it clear from the start that I wanted to do what I could for myself, and her presence was for disaster prevention. She's kept to that role, and only done the things I can't - vaccuming for example. I've showered, cooked, and done everything else myself.
Yes, you do need to lower your expectations. It may take an hour to get up and get dressed. So what? You were going to do something else? He needs to understand that getting this independance back is part of the point of the operation! What you can't do, you can't do. None of it will be life-threatening! But trying to do things is the only way of building yourself up.
Sounds to me like he is being a typical man. He's got the THR version of "man-flu". When the fireworks are approaching, it will probably be just about the time that you need to go for a walk. Walks are important for your recovery. So is sanity!
What a terrible situation got you both 😢, you both need a lot of rest and neither of you will be back to normal for some time . You could do with home help really 😳. If you do to much you will set yourself back very quickly 😱. You need outside help 🤔. It's such a huge operation that you have both had and it's extremely frustrating and a emotional roller coaster, male or female 🙁, it's a hard journey for you both . You need to support each other emotionally as much as you can . Love each other 💖. You need to get through this together 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
The first day is nearly over and so far so good. Interesting that his leg has swollen to twice the size yet mine never it was my backside that swelled up! He got home late morning and after the usual catch up my friend came over to take me out. He didn't want any lunch just wanted to go for a sleep. We went out to a shopping mall had lunch and then came home to the supermarket delivery. I cooked the evening meal and managed to coax him fownstairs for it. The only thing now is I've not had my afternoon nap so will probably need an early bed. I'm trying to encourage him to move a bit more to help the swelling but it's falling on deaf ears. Hopefully tomorrow he'll sell improvement 😊
Make sure he's taking his pain meds on time and regularly. I'm sure you are 😍, sounds like your looking after him well xx . All I wanted to do for the first week was sleep and I really didn't want to move at all 😪. But the problem is muscle wastage happens within DAYS 😱😱😱. And that will make his recovery longer 😱😱. Make sure he dose his ankle pumps if nothing else, little and often xx it sounds like you have actually recovered quite quickly Susan , I'm just over 5 week and there's no way I can do what you have done today 😢. And I'm 35 years . Just shows how everyone's recovery is very different 🤔😳.
I managed to get him to go to bed early with a good dose of painkillers so I also could get an early night. We're sleeping in separate rooms and I find I can't get to sleep in case he needs something !
My sister is coming over to put our teds on but I feel like ditching mine since I'm so mobile now but don't think I can manage his ☹️ He's got horrible feet too 😁😁
hes shuffling along and not quite coordinating his sticks but won't listen when I try to help him, this is going to be testing times 😱 He's 63 and I'm 59 but he was in the best shape for the op so the surgeon said so I'm surprised he's not listening to what the physio told him😁
He wants to go for a walk tomorrow but I just told him to wait and see how he feels
Honestly for the sake of your marriage and sanity I would think about some outside help! 4 weeks post op is early days for you, and he will need help with everything for the first few weeks.... at some point you can hobble around together, but the first few weeks might be taxing!
Well, we all here if you need to vent!!!! The beauty of the forum is no one judges you - I hope it is works out okay Susan
Wow, that is amazing for four weeks, perhaps you could go out every day to give you a wee break. Remember everyone's journey is different, so you might cope much better - men are very competitive in my experience, so expect for him to want to whizz past you on his sticks soon!!
He's been home 3 days and I've been doing all the cooking so far. I'm keeping a note so that at week 4 he takes his turn as that's the stage I'm at now. I lost it with him when he asked me to accompany him on his first walk! I said no you have to do it yourself as no one helped me while you were at work!
Two wrongs don't make a right 😂. You need to both be supportive , you have both been through such a huge operation . There's no way I could have done cooking at week 4 😱. Please don't over do things 😳 You will set yourself back and end up in a right mess 😰. You both need TLC 💜🙏🏻