afternoon hippies and hippies to be! This post comes with a major bad mood warning,
im feeling so fed up today, since my op, my so called loved ones don't seem to care/ realise what we are going through on this forum!
i was doing well, day 3 at a wedding etc, but today is my birthday, my partner has well done nothing to make me feel good about myself! Yes he has asked my girls who are 16/18yrs old to come for a meal, but they just don't get it! He keeps trying to get me to have pain meds, but I don't need them, I'm not in pain I'm just fed up that I can't shower, bath, sleep more than 4 hrs, sit without moving every 10 mins and him saying where you going now! He just don't get it! go anywhere without my toilet seat, cushions, he wanted to eat out the other day when I ventured out shopping, and looked at me funny when I said no, as we hadn't brought my aids shopping!
At this moment in time, I wished I was at work with my pre op pain, he wouldn't even talk about my op much either, saying I've read too much on the Internet! I honestly think he so un educated on this "minor op" I've had!!
im so sorry to moan at you all, all I'm doing is crying!
We have all been there, graham actually got fed up of me keep going on about my hip and as for my daughter she isn't very sympathetic I bet tomorrow you will have a better day also A VERY VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY XXXX
I'm 3 months out and my husband acted the same way and still does. He and my sister-in-law heled me out tremendously for the 2 months but now they think I should be up doing cartwheels. It's still uncomfortable to walk, sit, sleep etc. but they just don't get it.
I know it gets very discouraging at times but just know that you're not alone and you found the best website to help you get through this.
i know now exactly how you're feeling. My loved ones never really got it at the start either....my Mum did as she's had both hers replaced, but hubby expected me to be pinged back into full health after a few weeks! And I got fed up of the "oh you must be able to do more now" and " surely you should be walking better than that" commemts👿
im over five months post op now and still get pain at my incision, but the leg is really good. The other one is playing up big style now and is due for replacement in the next month or so-can't wait to be fully normal again. But this time around, I know my loved ones and workmates will realise exactly what I'm going through as they have seen me at my lowest (crying in shops, unable to climb stairs, hobbling etc despite having a new hip!)
Hang in there and maybe let your loved ones see posts on here and on the Favebook forums (if you're a member)-that really helped my hubby get it....big hugs.
Hey, don't be fed up, I know it's hard to begin with but things do get better, maybe get them to watch the op on u tube then they will realise what you have been through.
your doing great a wedding on day three, that's brilliant, you should be able to shower soon I showered on day 8 as stitches had dissolved and would had healed nicely.
Join the Sunday blues club. Do you remember the baby blues? Well we get them post operatively and I have had them both times round.
My loving son is not around so I am dependent on the much more rugged nursing of my husband and 18 yr old daughter, both of whom I have loved and waited on hand and foot as I have not been able to work for a long time. There does not appear to be anything reciprocal at the moment - right?
Well my sister in law spelled it out to me. Spell it out to them. Write down what you need on a daily basis and get them to run to that list. Slowly my lot are getting better at this - so to go to bed i need ..... So when I get up I need.... To make a good recovery I need lots of protein and leafy greens like brocolli. LEAVE NOTHING to intuition.
Ask your partner to do one thing for you - watch a THR on youtube. Pick a vrey complete film. The hip is the deepest part of the body and to get to it you have to cut through lots of muscles and tendons and then reattach them. So theres lots of internal healing going on and they reckon its a whole year before your body full recovers. He is making a common mistake that many do - THR is now done a lot - so it may be common place but it is not a minor operation. Also for younger folk the impact is much greater than for older folk on your day to day activities.
Try not to follow my speciality of shouting and weeping as it does not work. Just keep napping if necessary and understand that on special days like birthdays insensitivities you would normally shrug off hurt more. I came out of hospital a week ago and have just found out my husband is away for 7 nights, so I know where you are coming from, believe me.
Take care, rest, and dont try to meet others expectations of your recovery. Take your time, listen to your body. This recovery period is vital to the long term success. I lie upright on the sofa as the saples dig in otherwise if I use a chair.
Order yourself a dress on line today maybe as a birthday treat.
I just did that - there are loads in the sale and a maxi dress which goes over your head is a great feminine way to dress easily- straight over the head and hide those bloomin stockings. Its also a great way to go commando and take knicker pressure out of the picture
Last of all I am Warbling Happy Birthday to You at the top of my Very UnTuneful voice. Enjoy your day and, to nick a daft quote from a play, "Sod the pudding club" - whatever that is supposed to mean
I had pain along my incision - some great hands on physiotherapy massage broke down the tissue scar and I am totally pain free there now. It took 3 sessions and meant I could sleep on that side. Whooppee. Definitely something I would happily pay for this time round and asap.
Yeah same boat here. My other 1/2 juyst does not get it either.
I won't cry infromnt of hbim but I spend most of the night cryiong because he doesn't understand.
I would not have found out what my problem was without researching the internet and I coul;d have ended up with blood poisoning or worse.
So I totaslly get what you are saying. I am week 12 this c oming tuesday and I have no shower. Still can't have a bath I always feel dirty. My other 1/2 tried shaving my legs and cut me in many places so I bought an electric shaver and use my grabber to do it as best I can. I always thought no matter what I wernt through he would understand. I have always bounced back from everything the NHS has thrown at me over the last 4 years. But not this time. We had a really bad argument yesterday because I called out the ourt of hours GP because of the swelling and pain in my legs. My other 1/2 said the same things as yours. You are looking on the internet too much. Boy did I make him eat his words when he realised it was true and I was right. So I know exactly what you mean. I havn't been out of the house since Before christmas except for hospital appointments and I am so fed up of these 4 walls so totally relate to what you are saying.
Don't be sorry to moan Linzh. You really are noit alone. x
Happy Birthday and please don't be sad, I've been through this and it does get better. I laughed though because my fiancé is always saying " where are you going NOW!"
Hailed similar thing happened to me.... My fiancé was telling me my legs and feet weren't swollen when they soooo clearly were and I ended up having to go to A&E with suspected DVT....
I would do what someone else has suggested and show your partner the hip replacement op on utube. Bit cruel, I know, but this may be a 'common' op that you've had, but it's also a very major one.
Linzh.....Happy Birthday To YOU!!! Have a great day and dont get too down, you know you do this to yourself...its like a Helterskelter of getting low, and self doubt....once you slip, its hard to pull yourself back almost like a water slide, and you cant pull yourself back on thise...now can you....? I have just forced myself to do the deepfreeze as I am back to work Tomoz, just two days, then two days off, and I found a Leg Of Lamb that was on special over Easter for £7 at tesco, so it is out for weds+ thursday, and I hope a curry....Is hard to cheer up when in a downer, think of a really funny moment that was stupid...then think about it again...and again....get the giggles...and you can cheer yourself up, yst as quickly as you can drive yourself down....
Cheers to you and looking forward to hearing from you soon.
