Lately i have been feeling like garbage. I always try to hint that I'm not okay. I feel like a failure, and with that, it restrains a lot from me. In more recent events, someone in my family asked why i was shaking/ trembling, i did not even realize it was the case. Most of the time i just do it to chill out, but now its getting worse. Music relaxes me, but i still try to hold myself back from completely letting loose. Usually feeling mad is pretty painful for me... Whenever i get the least bit angry, there is this wave of pain that goes through my body quickly and leaves. Its uncomfortable, its painful. Today i let out a few tears actually, but it hasn't helped me the least bit. I need help, because now its getting to the point where i feel like there is no point to anything.
I sense that you are young, but maybe I’m wrong. Why do you feel like a failure? I’m sure you’re not, but I can relate if you at least feel that way. I’m 47 and haven’t achieved anything I’ve wanted in life and now dealing with constant health issues. I’m sure you are far from a failure. And really what is failure? In who’s eyes and by what standards? As long as you are breathing and still trying your best you are never a failure. It sounds however like you are very depressed and have anxiety which often come together like a lousy sandwich. I have both as well and it’s common to have both at the same time. Do you have a therapist? If not please try to find one. I am myself trying to find one I can afford. Until then the women on these boards are here for you! So hang in there! We care about you!
you really should talk to a therapist . this is too hard to do on your own, ive been there. i had to get some counseling on a regular basis because I was going downhill fast. You could feel so much better once you learn how to manage this. nothing is 100% but I feel 99% better than I did by getting some help, changing my mental attitude around, eating healthier, keeping a positive and grateful attitude, getting a little exercise. you have to take it one day at a time otherwise it’s too overwhelming.
if counseling is a financial issue, many communities offer free or low cost counseling. many churches can point you in the right direction for free counseling . there is also a confidential number you can call if you are in the states. It is open 24/7. they may be able to provide resources for you to get some help with this. 800 273 8255.
Life is worth living. We all go through tough times in different ways but once you get beyond it or manage it , you look back at what you went through, you realize that it was all just a snapshot in time and that there are great things Beyond our troubles.
Hang in there and do things that relax you. It’s time to take care of you! 