I'm not excited for Christmas and certainly not happy to be entering another year of this misery. I don't have anything to celebrate so NYE parties & all this festive excitement has bypassed me completely. I don't care about any of it I'm sick of being unhappy, unstable, unmotivated, tired, angry, lonely & constantly on edge. No more meds or therapy or lifestyle changes I'm fed up of being me I just want to be someone else that has a simple happy life without having to battle with my own brain every single day. Struggling at work because I hate every second of being here but in so much debt I have no choice but to keep going even though I want to do nothing but sit in my room in my bed alone. Everyday feels like I'm trapped in a nightmare which is ironic because I don't sleep much because my brain is too loud. I'm just a mess and starting to think I always will be.
Hi Yas,
Try mindfulness and meditation to keep your mind in the present moment.
Peace 
You poor person, that’s sounds like a sad place to be! Have an online hug!xx
you have summed it all up perfectly.
i am with you.
absolutely.
I tired meditation, it helped for a bit but I feel as though I’m passed the stage of that still working now. Thank you for your reply x
Aww thank you so much! x
Such a shame so many of us are going through this hell. Not fair at all! Nice to know we’re not alone though x
Thank you for your reply too Yasmine,
I agree meditation is or can be fairly short lived however I have found 20mins morning and evening to be very helpful for my Chronic Anxiety.
There is a great free, no ads app called Plum Village done by Thich Nhat Hanh’s (Buddhist Monk) followers at their meditation retreat which is called Plum Village.
Might be worth a revisit for you? , if not all the best anyway 
Peace
you might not believe it, but you are better off going to work, than staying at home.
you have to try to let go , also you are not alone, don’t assume that everyone else has got it sorted
this too will pass
Hi it would be lovely to live a simple happy life wouldn’t it, but I doubt anyone does unless they are a moron or something. Life isn’t meant for that anyway and you would get tired of it in the end. Life is meant to be a struggle to find yourself and be the best version of you that you can.
Life is also about change so make any changes that you can. I was often in a job I hated but had to stay so I got myself a great hobby which got me out and about socialising, so at least I was working for a purpose. x
i would advise you speak to a doctor about how you feel? there is a lot of help out there, you have to go out and get it yourself unfortunately! even when we feel so bad
maybe your sleeping problem is causing a lot of your horrible mood changes at work amd lack of motivation, there are some good natural sleep herbal tablets out there that can help
i saw my psychiatrist and explained i havent slept properly in months and he prescribed me 2 weeks of tablets with tapered down ones for the second week to save your body getting accustomed,
i had long 10 hour sleeps for 2 weeks after months of insomnia from (setraline)
i felt my body reset
also maybe you never found the right meds?
good luck stay strong
Just wanted to say thank you for all of you lovely helpful replies. Really appreciate it & hope you’re all doing well x