Drowning...

General health and lifestyle
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I'm a 40 year old single parent. I have delt with so much in my life that has led to PTSD...and 20+ years of alcohol. The last 11 years, which was "yesterday", I have drank from a 1/2 pint up to a 1/2 gallon of whiskey...every day. In just two years ago, I made Christ my priority. I have tried to stop on my own. I have seeked help outside of medical care. I have recently seeked helped inside of medical care. I was frightened with a diagnosis and relieved to learn that I have nothing no more than a fatty liver. I have focused on my sobriety and learned that I can't last a week and a half before I break down and have to have at least a pint again. I came to these forums and read and learned that I was so close to detox and had so much more to look forward too that I have yet to experience. I have the wrestless nights, the sweating, shaking and irritability. But i will not go further.

I'm scared. I want to be done. I have so much good going for me and my children. I don't want it but every time I try, every reason, every help I seek, car accidents, arrests, name it... I still find myself hiding at home, with a glass of whiskey.

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Welcome Taisha. You have reached rock bottom and can only go up! 1 or 2 days no drinking each weak or medication. Google The Sinclair Method. 80% success rate. Regards Robin

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Oh angel it sucks dosnt it xx I've been there guilt ridden stuff ups anxiety depression the whole shebang! There are options I promise and not everyone is the same therefore we need to try every option AA works for some abstinence works for some but ultimately it depends on works for you! Abstinence didn't work for me so I read Dr Eskapas book "the cure for Alcoholism " and read about The Sinclair Method this is my current journey and so far so good it entails taking a tablet called either naltrexone or nefelame and you take the pill one hour previous to you having your drink and the idea is for it to reduce and eventually extinguish your desire it works! Do a little research and ask any questions on here or go to c3foundation they are amazing support xx wishing you well xx

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I know TSM might sound too good to be true but it has helped so many of us. I was a 20+ shots of vodka a day drinker. Home, work, in the car and anywhere else I could. Thank goodness I never got a DUI or hurt anyone. I almost lost everything. My job, wife and my life. By taking Naltrexone and following the edicts of TSM I now only have a few drinks on the weekend or none at all. No withdrawals, no shakes and no self loathing. I've lost almost 50 lbs, am looking for my first house and have my first child on the way. I'm 38 and feel like my life is beginning and not ending. I'm not scared. Please give it a try and keep posting on this forum. The people here are great. Good luck.

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Good work 171207 cheers to a happy healthy life you deserve it .. we all deserve a happy healthy life ❤️

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Thank you so much. I completely agree. Thanks for the supportive words. One of the many reasons I love this forum.

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I meant that for you Bangleina 😁

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Good support and what a journey! Bangleina andI71207! Taisha can analyse it all and make the right decision for changing and improving life. One week ago had Xmas party not drinking. Happy about it. Robin

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My nurse practitioner is sending me to a psych in hopes that he'll be able to prescribe something. I do hope he can help.

I can't do rehab because my children and job depend on me. Or I'd sure enough go.

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I am in the same life process. I just bought a new home and opened a wonderful life for my children. Of course my daughter uses me as an excuse and isn't making my recovery easy at all. Before i can through the 2 weeks clean, I am breaking down.

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Crap.

That was meant for I71207.

Bangleina, I have tried everything I can think of. I'm afraid of medication but it looks like I'm going to have to consider.

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Hello I'm here to share with you my sister was the same God rest her soul I buried her in July due to her problem drinking daily like you 1/2 gal a day she had the fatty liver also that caused her kidneys to fail her body to swell she only weighed 160lbs but when her kidneys went bad her body held the water she would get as heavy as 300lbs I took care of my sister for over two years she suffered in and out the hospital until she passed away when she was at dyalis her blood pressure bottomed out they rushed her to the hospital only to send her to another hospital because of the lactose she was taking to keep her ammonia levels down that kept her from going lala loopsie well when we got to the other hospital the doctor came in and told me and her we had two choices 1 keep her comfortable but 9/10 she would pass by the next day or 2 put her on the surgery table but 9/10 she wouldn't make it off the table so you see either way they were telling me my sister was gonna die by the next day so for what it's worth please read my story over and over because not only did she suffer so did we and I am now raising her two beautiful little girls God bless you and I will be praying that you choose to let go and let God put the bottle down spend precious time with your family your children and everyone that loves you

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Taisha61931 I get your scared of medication I am too but one think I'm quite sure of is id rather live my life and take a pill than leave my daughter because I can't let go of this destructive habit I didn't have time to spend in rehab and also knew after three months of feeling good I would've gone straight back to the bottle and the battle xx this is no easy journey The Sinclair Method but it's sure better than killing ourself with the bottle xxx anything is worth a try! We are all here for you people understand there is no judgment and we get you! Because the majority are either in your situation or have been there xx  

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So sorry Monique for your loss it's tragic and happens all too often 😥 Wishing you love light and peace xxxx

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That really hits me to my heart!!! It also hits home with my sister and mom. I try so hard. I will definantly take your advice and read it daily, keeping you all in my heart.

Since I'm so scared of the DTs, health failure and being an escape goat for my daughter (14), I'm going to use my time off for Christmas and New Years (with my sister assisting for emergency and while my children are gone), and get pass two weeks at least.

I'm so happy in our life (for once) that I really don't care about dying now.

I'm alone, barely any family. No companion for late hour support...but because of my ambition in life for my children, I feel like Job. Everything is so great now. Once I was loosing everything, to giving my life to Christ in a jail cell. Now my children are set for life and I want to enjoy it with them.

But then, I'm so happy right?... am I really?

I remember my sister passing in her cancer stages, I remember the last days of my mom to the time she passed in my arms, my crippled months, car accidents, life long abuse, and I still get damned from my ex and his wife... up to my daughter damning me too.

I've tried everything I can think of. I'm lucky that I'm not as bad as we thought. But in a week and half, I'm so angry, sweating and shaky that I give in.

This time, my daughter said, "since your not trying, since won't quit, I think I don't have to."

I was taking her to Celebrate Recovery with me which she has learned to use against me. I really was trying. That killed my heart and I really had to make her leave the room.

11 years. A new home. A designer room. And because I'm not glamorous...im not trying. My heart broke and I bought a bottle. 2 in fact in 3 days.

I requested to her father (the only ex I can get along with) for her to stay with him during the holidays and all this next summer just so I can get through this.

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I will definantly request the Sinclair Method. I'm so sick of being strapped down.

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Believe me I hated the thought of having to take meds. I couldn't believe that this thing could help but it did. Once I broke the physical addiction while taking the meds it helped with the mental. And believe me I've still had the thoughts and the rarer cravings but holy sh*t I'm doing a million times better. I really thought I was at my wits end but it got hella better. Just give it a try.

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What country are you in taisha? As so many doctors have no idea about the Sinclair Method and advise you incorrectly in how to take naltrexone you have to read up on the Sinclair Method and follow properly it's not rocket science you basically take the pill one hour prior to having alcohol naltrexone does not work if you don't drink with it! However crazy that may seem to an alcoholic trying not to drink! It only works if you drink! It gradually takes away your want and desire to drink 

Most doctors say don't drink with it but that defeats the point of TSM please read for yourself online the Sinclair Method and ask any questions here too so many wonderful people Thant can help you xxx

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It's wonderful to hear you're doing so well, I7! Congratulations on your amazing progress with TSM!!

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Thank you. I was able to do it with your help and the support of the people on this forum. I never thought I could go a whole day without thinking about having a drink let alone not having one. It wasn't an instant fix by any means and there have been bumps along the road but I love it. I'm different now and things are different. I'm living now not just trying to stay alive. Sorry for the ramble. Hope everything is going well for you and keep reaching out to others. I know it helps.