Im 24 and I am new to anxiety realm , it started heavily after i did drugs this summer , in particular i was stupid enough to take quite high dose of mdma which in the end i think turned out to be mixed with speed and then ruined myself with smoking couple big puffs of weed next to ecstasy , i got super paranoid , thought my friends were plotting against me did not almost know where i was, started mixing up words and my brain felt like half dead.. Classic bad trip.. But since very then i started feeling very bad and in the beginning it was kind of bearable and i even though i get better but then became more and more sh*tty after i had panic attack once , i started thinking i have brain damage or schizophrenia and quite honestly sometimes i still fear of it. I went to doctor in a completely terrible state and the doc sent me saying this is anxiety to therapist who stated the same and convinced me, sort of , that there could not be anything else but anxiety. In fact now I realize that i always had it but much less heavy , i had crisises as well but never like this.. My question is wether someone ever experienced what i do ? Trouble staying asleep and insomnia , my thinking feels like i am becoming retarted , it feels like i cant speak to people anymore and every word i have to think twice before i say it, endless rehearsing conversations with myself inside my head and all types of "worst case scenarios" ,sweaty hands , mild depression and strange feelings of derealization as far as i understand, feels like normal every day things are strange, in the beginning when it all started and i got very started i was scared of people faces and how they were moving when they were talking to me , felt very psychedelic .. Long story short i feel terrible , still quite scared but managed to get my fear of my symptoms under control saying it is all part of anxiety and i have to say it did get bit better that at least i dont get this psychedelic , but this terrible feeling like brain damage that i cant normally communicate and i am very slow, strange feeling of distorted reality and insomnia, it all stays.. Most strange thing is that i never have panic attacks I almost dont worry or think about bad stuff but still feel terrible i feel tense all the time and worried and scared and depressed for no reason at all along with all other sh*t mentioned above and being generally totally spaced out. Please tell me anyone of you experienced same or similar symptoms? I am very scared i am never going to recover although all docs said i will.. And another question , doc prescribed me lexapro or buspar , i can chose myself but i am terrified of both side effects , anyone used it ? Does it really help?
You should try and focus on the present rather than the bad experience that you think brought all of this on for you. I had a similar experience with a bad trip around two years ago on lsd,in my early 20s i wasn't shy on trying different things when out partying i.e mandy etc but lsd was the one thing i refused to try.anyway,i was at a party two years ago and had drank way to much and was offered the drug i had always refused to try,stupidly i said yes and tried it....safe to say it was one of the worst experiences in my 28 years,had a really bad time of it for days afterwards,was in a self inflicted hell in my head,extreme anxiety,fear and lots of the symptoms your mentioning in your post. over time i dwelled on that bad experience and it really got me down to the point where i was an anxious mess and depressed. i eventually had no choice in asking for help and was prescribed ADs and went to a therapist,in the 5-6 months after this i came to realise that although i was blaming this bad experience there were lots of other things going on in my life that were also contributing to what was going on so i made changes to my lifestyle and in that period of time met a girl etc,you know how it goes, got better and everything was good. With my own personal experience taking AD's(sertraline) although i can say it did help to an extent i found it made sleeping worse,made me feel quite emotionless and spaced out alot of the time.also had some sexual side affects from it which are common on any AD,for me the bads outweighed the good so i stopped taking them. up until recently my anxiety had pretty much disappeared but a split with my GF triggered all of it again,was also living abroad and realised that actually life out there was the biggest contributor to how all of this started in the 1st place! i came home and went to the doctors and asked for help,ADs was only answer they have,but i was reluctant to take them because of the side affects the last time.
so i found a supplement called 5HTP after doing some research,tried it and it has worked magic for me,im back to normal and no nasty side affects,google it and see what you think,something for you to thnk about! also magnesium citrate helped me sleep,took a couple of days to help but it did in the end.
Try not to get caught up in your thoughts mate,i know its hard but everything will level out!talk to a close friend about it,you never know-maybe he/she has been through a tough time before and can point you in the right direction. take care
Your welcome,anytime! You did the right thing in asking for help,that's the 1st stage in turning it all around. Try not to dwell on what happened that crazy weekend you had,you can't change it,put it down to a life experience,learn from it & move on. Enjoy Christmas with your friends & family,celebrate new year & start 2016 fresh.join a gym & get in shape for the summer. Compliment other people,making other people happy will make you happy too. I booked a one way ticket to Oz,going to dissapear & see the other side of the world & meet new people & change my thinking along the way.
There's so many things you can do to turn things around,make the new year a fresh start! All the best