Here’s my history. I had been on mirtazapine for about 2 years and before that I was on sertraline for about 6-7 years. Earlier this year I was in a really good place. I have a wonderful and supportive husband, I had been able to get into a somewhat consistent exercise and healthy eating regime which is so beneficial to mental health and had been feeling generally happy and well.
I started tapering off mirtazapine just under 4 months ago, tapering took about 4 weeks (which from what I’ve read is really fast) and I feel like everything has completely fallen apart since. Around the same time I ran out of a sinus medication from ENT and have only just been able to get it again, literally just today (I have chronic rhinosinusitis which causes terrible sinus headaches).
Over the last month or so things have gotten worse and worse and they’ve become intolerable in the last few weeks. My anxiety has been really bad, I’ve been getting heart palpitations, my sleep (which is never good anyway) has been awful, my sinus headaches have been awful due to the lack of my sinus medication, I’ve been taking painkillers for my headaches, nearly daily now, which I think has now led to rebound headaches as well. One of the worst things is I’ve developed ringing tinnitus and pulsatile tinnitus, which isn’t something I’ve really had before. I’m not sure if it’s related to the anxiety, the sinusitis, the rebound headaches or something more serious which is making me more anxious.
Along with these things I’ve been having issues with my contraception (I’m now on the patch along with my implant to try to reset my cycle into a more regular pattern) so hormones might be affecting things. And earlier this year I had to change my acne cream because my old one became unavailable. The new one is much less effective and it’s been affecting my confidence, I’m 30 but I look like a pubescent teenager. I’ve not got around to sorting this out yet because of everything else. I’ve also not been able to exercise for a bit because of the headaches and being so tired.
I’ve been to the gp once about how I’ve been feeling about 3 weeks ago. It’s really hard to get everything out in one consultation so I wasn’t able to cover everything. He gave me propranolol for the physical anxiety symptoms (it has helped with heart palpitations but that’s all) and booked a follow up for 4 weeks time, which is next week but I’m not sure I can wait another week. I’ve also had one session with my private counsellor a couple weeks ago.
I’ve been feeling so stressed and anxious and down about it all. I don’t want to go on living like this and I’ve even been feeling like I don’t want to go on living at all sometimes, I can’t see an end to it. I’m crying everyday at the moment. I don’t know what to do, I regret coming off mirtazapine so much, everything fell apart after that. I was in such a good place before I came off it. Should I go back on it or something else or should I try to tough it out and hope things get better? I just don’t know.