A very summarised description of my life over the past two and a half years:
A head inury;
Awful post concussion syndrome;
Mental breakdown;
Severe anxiety;
Got tardive dyskinesia - a drug-induced and untreatable movement disorder;
Ecotpic pregnancy;
Brother with terminal cancer nearly went last week;
Made redundant in the past few days.
Life, it seems, doesn't like me much.
Or, more precisely, I don't like life much at all.
I know that I can control how I react to these things but honestly - there are days when I am SO. TIRED. OF. IT. ALL.
And I just want it all to go away, so I can have some peace and be 'normal'; whatever that is.
I know I have a lot to be grateful for and I try to be grateful every day, but it seems like relentless bad things don't ever go away.
I will get through this though, and things will look up... hopefully.
I'm just so sad and sometimes want it to all go away so much. Please help me. :-(
Dear Noo
I can feel what you are going through.
But at same time i would honestly say, you are so wonderful person and inspiration for others as to how to endure such severe adversity. you are beautiful from outside and from within. Indeed a beautiful soul.
stick to inner peace and as you said, "i have a lot to be grateful everyday ". Please continue with that spirit.
It is GREAT that you can control how to react . Indeed great.
If on someday when you feel SO. TIRED. OF. IT. ALL , take it easy. relax. Be in present moment.
you CAN handle it.
things shall definitely get better with time.
My prayers are you.
God bless you.
Thank you for your amazingly kind and lovely reply. I am truly touched by your words. 😊
You are right - I must be strong and carry on, stay mindful and enjoy everything I do have.
I hope your good vibes bring me some peace, and lots of best wishes back to you too. ✨
Hi NooNooHead.Ya life can be a real drag.Sorry I just aged myself there(i'm 54 and live in the US).I'm not going to list all the stuff I've been thru over that last 20 years.It's somewhat similar in the general sense to you but more spread out.I've been suffering from IBS/anxiety and depression.The depression was just diagnosed the last 9-10 months,but I've probably had it off and on all that time and before but never "saw" it or did anything about.The last 10 months have been lousy for the most part and it's been really hard.There's some days I just say."Why,God,why am I here?Show me a purpose.Help me do what You want!" THere was a 5 day period at the end of January where I finally crashed I laid on the couch for 5 STRAIGHT DAYS and only got up to take meds eat a little something and feed my cats that was it.Didn't go to work.No TV,reading. Barely talked to a couple people and that was it.I prayed that God would just take me home.I begged actually.Since then I've had a roller coaster of ups and mostly downs.Seeing counselor(very good)psy doc(for the first time,not so good because though she is nice they just give you meds,not really talking to you)massage therapist(good,but can't afford to go only a couple times a month).THe only good that has come out of it for me is that I now have a real relationship with God.I was doing the religious stuff for 12-13 years and at times felt/got close to Him,but especially the last couple years it was just going thru the motions.Now we are getting to know each other forreal for the first time.And it's so I hard.i know i'm forgiven but it's so hard to accept sometimes.I don't know why,but then other times I really feel it.I don't know i'm just ramblin on.Sorry.I tend to over think things.I can't shut my stupid mind off and just be.THere are times ,very very brief so far,but still there,where I feel that peace"that passes all understanding" when I feel free and close to Him,but then my mind or myself or the enemy or whatever messes it up.After all these years I realise the only thing that matters is peace and love.(my old hippie coming out but it was just a slogan then to me,now I get it).i just pray that I can finally let it all go and trust in Him.But it's so hard!!! Oh well that's just my take,just letting myself sort of bleed out to you.Just hang in there don't give up!!! We can make it.Just one more day,one more day closer to home.JUst breathe. Just breathe.I'll be praying for you(and me).I trust He'll come thru for us.Love your way and God Bless You,Bob