Ive posted here for over 2 hears now...a 9 month break between when i was living with no fear.
I am a 31 year old male, plagued with Health Anxiety, stemming from my father passing away of Stomach Cancer when i was onlh 13.
Over the past 6 months...i have struggled with the ever present thoughts that my body is fading.
Ive gone from having pains in my stomach to acid reflux to throat pain to back pain and recently side pain just at the bottom of my left ribs. Constant nausea and throughout it all.....convincing myself its that time, where my fear turns to reality.
In the past 6 weeks, i have seen 4 doctors, had all blood tests, blood pressure and ECG, and all 4 had told me that my bloods are at the optimal levels of a very healthy person...my blood prrssure and ecg are textbook and they have no concerns.
Im exhausted from all of it.....
Its funny how we latch on to the reassurance...the thinga our doctors say...mine for example 'enjoy your life man' and '100% nothing serious causing these...its anxiety' hell i have even had my therapist tell me that doctors cannot say such things without being totally sure as it could be a lawsuit so clearly im safe for now.
The pains continue...this week its pain in the left side down from the bottom rib not the front of my body or back...in between the side....2 days and counting...and back come the thoughts and negative behaviours...
I remain hopeful...started a course of citalaprom 20mg and im feeling confident. Doing tai chi...exercising...eating healthy. I dont smoke...i dont drink a lot...im a healthy looking person and its crazy that although im hopeful...i stay in this moment of madness that i am ill that i do have a disease and that its the 4 doctors the therapist and everyone around me thats wrong....
But i will beat it...i have to. What other choice do we have?
I to suffer really bad with health anxiety, I wake up every morning thinking I have a different illness, it's a nightmare. I need to turn my negative throught into positive but just carnt seem to do it. My brain works overtime all the time. The only time I'm quite relaxed is when I'm in bed x
Yer same here if I'm asleep I'm fine. I have all the aches and pains to. More so in in shoulders and neck, then it causes me to have headaches cause I'm tense. It's a vicious circle x
It is, however starting to realise that all we can do is go to the doctors and let them be the ones who diagnose us...not google....so if the doctors tell us we are healthy...although it wont stop the aches and pains immediately...gradual acceptance will help
Some times after a close relative dies people can become sensitised by their own feelings, yes it has been an age since loosing your Father, you can still have feelings of your own mortality and that will make you pick up on many body feelings etc as you will be thinking you are passing over. If it is any help I would sometimes feel the same in my twenties, although now I approach my 67th Year.
If you feel this is the case try talking about your loss to close family members in general type concerns, explaining how you feel. This may help you put your fears and concerns at rest. Hopefully your Anxiety will eventually go and you will bring yourself around to a more fruitful understanding position. In life we need to understand ourselves and this seems to happen in later life.
Death is a state we all have to enter and we have no way of getting away from this situation. Try and consider reincarnation as an alternative to fears of death, we never know where we will end up in the future.