Hi. I wanted to document my own experiences of starting citalopram (celexa) for myself, but also for others to read who might be in same situation. These meds affect people in all different ways and so this is only my experience - may not be yours.
I do wish Drs would be a bit more clear about starting these meds. Some advise taking pm, others am, with no word about why this is. It really depends on the side effects which isnt clear until you start taking them. I would also recommend not starting these meds at the beginning of a working week or if you about to go on holiday or do something important needing close attention, due to potential side effects catching you by surprise.
I was quite shocked how spaced-out I felt within 3hrs of taking first 20mg. Felt nauseous, dizzy, intense headache, tinnitus, heart pounding, faint, light-headed, spaced-out, spiking anxiety. Luckily it was a bank holiday weekend soon so I had 3 days to vegitate and get used to feeling wierd. By day 5 the side-effects are much less but still in the background. If I had had to work or fly somewhere when I started these meds I would have been in a very bad place I think (hence I suggest starting them during a holiday or rest weekend).
Coming into day 7 now. The side effects are much lesser but still apparent. I have little hunger, feel a bit dizzy at times. I also experience an overall increased anxiety which is disconcerting. In the mornings the anxiety can feel quite intense, but eases during the day somewhat. If you already have high anxiety (and thus why you are on these meds) citalopram could make it even worse for a while before it gets better! Its very counter-intuitive to take a medicine that makes your illness feel even worse, I completely understand why some just cant take these side-effects if they are already unwell. Perhaps initial sedatives should be given if you have very high anxiety to start with?
But I'm still here and I'm still taking these meds (20mg per day in the morning). I know I can feel very well, and I can remember what it feels like to feel emotions of happiness and of love. This drives me onward with going through the side effects if it means I feel them again.
The worst thing about depression for me is not particularly the intense unhappiness, or the loss of sleep, not the racing mind and black places, or even the fact that my social life is affected, or that I get aches and pains from feeling depressed, nor the stigma or the difficulty of admitting I have depression. All these things are really horrible and very upseting at times. But the worst part of depression is the fact that I cant feel and connect with the Love I have inside for my children and my loved ones that should be mine to have and to hold. Thats what drives me onward to take pretty much anything a medication can throw at me....
Pete