Hello, I'm a student at high school , I'm 16 years old male . I've been suffering from eye contact anxiety for 9 months , My marks went down so much because of this . And teachers are confused because I usually be at top 5 at least in class ranking , they said to my father that I have good capacities and I should be at top 15 at least from 38 students. Some friends think I just don't study and that I neglected studies or went lazy . I know that I am smart person and also teacher of maths and physics too , I do know the reason of this anxiety , it's because my parents used to be rude with me and neglected me and did not give me a single dollar to buy some food or clothes because of their taxes and pressure , I don't blame them because they don't have a lot of money . Society used to make jokes about me and make me feel awkward every time about my ugly clothes and looks and my reaction was just put my head down and sleep or cry inside . after 9 months I bought new clothes and I took care of my looks to not get awkward again , I can not contact a psychologist about my issue because it's very awkward talking about this issue . But I've been talking to my mother about this and I feel better but I still have the eye contact issue! I can not make eye contact with teachers in class when they're explaining . And all I do is trying to struggle and beat the anxiety but I finish getting my head down to the table and look away to the window and act like sleeping . I hope this is not a unique issue and find the solution because I suffer from depression because that is a stupid way to fail school and I start getting suicidal thoughts .
Hi massi09914
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts: Where to get help, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you’re going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient