I have this real fear of the despair and sadness that I feel- when I'm not feeling blank/empty/sadness I then worry about feeling it again- anyone else?
When I'm well the thought is always there that I can fall back into depression. When I am depressed it's all I can think about. Is that what you mean?
Absolutely....you are not alone...when we are well, as the old saying goes, we are waiting for the other shoe to fall...When we are down and depressed, we are worried that it won't stay that way...With my depression comes Fibromylgia, back pain, and all kind of tender spots on my body...I get no appetite, and feel like I want to die, but I'm afraid of dying, too...I'm a mess, so you are certainly not alone...hope you feel better, and let us all appreciate the good days...
I think the key is to really understand what causes your depression.
Look through your past, figure out why you feel down, with a reason you can then start to look for a solution. Without medication.
If you know why you are depressed, and have come out of it without the use of drugs, you will then have the knowledge and power that you can come out of it yourself.
Its all about understanding, there will be a reason you get depressed, noone is born depressed..... Find a solution, give yourself power and control back, and then you will not fear it.
But I understand what you mean, I used to be feeling good, and then fear falling back down again and this would shake me for a while. It passes with time, you just need to keep moving forwards and you will make it.
Thank you everyone for your replies- I have never felt depression like this before - I know why I am depressed and I have a therapist I am working with- I just have never actually feared a feeling before - it's very surreal and scary, the feelings, and they come and go- luckily they are not all day -
Thank you all again xo
Do you have a support system like a good friend or a professional person that will listen? Getting older gets me down & all that comes with it (aches & pains & loss of loved ones). I feel for anyone that is in the dark place of sadness. Sometimes these feelings run in families. If that is not the case try to figure out why you have these feelings. Do you take medications? Good luck to you.
I am On medication, and seeing a therapist, - I know why I am depressed - I am working on it- this one just hit hard this time- xo