Fear of future blindness - anxiety has stopped me living at all

Mental health
1

I wanted to become a photographer. It's all I wanted and it's the only thing that would make me happy now. I've developed fears and phobias and problems but this is the one that is holding me back, meaning if I can't put this away for good, I will do nothing with my life and will enjoy nothing. I am 22. Physically healthy, not perfect but working on it.

I am afraid of losing my sight. Not so much now but later in life. And I'm afraid of it taking away what I love and want to spend every day of my life doing I read statistics and treatments, they should help me, glaucoma, cataracts, seem to be treatable to an extent, but then I read some things about AMD that paint a grim picture of inevitable blindness in my mind. I think Macular Disorder is my fear right now because it looks like it could make my fears come true.

You can tell me 1 in 25 people get sight problems and could tell me that 1 in 2 will die of something, and I'd still be terrified of blindness and fearless of the other thing.

I've lived like this for about a year now, and have lost hope of ever getting back to normal, or having the confidence in the future to get on with things. Does anyone have any advice what so ever?

2

Kev you say that this has become a phobia.

As you know a phobia is something that we fear, usually without any good or logical reason to fear it.

You talk about Glaucoma, cataracts, age-related macular degeneration and blindness, all of which you fear.

So what I am going to do now is to tell you a little bit about myself in the hope that you will understand how baseless you fears really are.

I am a 71 year old retired male, and among other things I suffer with Diabetes type 2.

6 years ago I had cataracts removed from both eyes. I was terrified what the operation could do to me, but I still went ahead with it. The operation took less than half an hour for each eye and I didn't feel a thing. When the operations were all completed I could see absolutely clearly for miles, and I mean miles without the spectacles that I had been forced to wear from the age of 8.

So if you ever do need cataract surgery when you are my sort of age I can assure you that you have nothing at all to fear.

As for age related macular degeneration yes I suffer with that as most older people do, but that in no way impares my vision, and neither do the epiretinal membranes that I have in both eyes.

Kev, I can see for miles without spectacles.

Now if anyone is at risk of deteriorating eyesight it is me because I also suffer from Diabetes type 2.

Well the simple truth is that the Diabetes does not interfere with my vision in any way at all.

The last thing you mention is glaucoma, well my wife is 65 and she has suffered with glaucoma all her life and it hasn't bothered her, and neither did it affect her mother who died at the age of 86, still with  excellent eyesight despite also a sufferer from glaucoma.all her life.

You Kev have more chance becoming an astronaut and landing on Neptune than you have of going blind.

Just think about that next time your phobia starts to play-up.

 

3

Hi there, do you have qualifications as a photographer? And if you do, you must have the confidence that you are going to become a super photographer!! Like in any other profession, you qualify and then you work really hard to be the best you can be. You must have the commitment otherwise sooner or later you will let yourself down, like I did...unfortunately.

all my life I worked really hard to become a teacher and once I got the first job, I wanted to be the best. When I was at the top, maths leader ( my dream job), my daughter was born and her health worried me so much that took over my life. I can't do my job anymore!! I' m thinking to alternatives as I can't afford to stop working...

so, young man! Life is more than thinking of possible ways of dying...we are all going to die at some point - that's know right from the beginning...the worry should be how can you make your life worth living so death is far far away...

I love my daughter to the sky and back but what got to me all the time when she was ill was the fact that she was extremely young (she is 3 now) and it felt that I didn't or I couldn't do enough to help her live as long as possible...and make her life enjoyable rather than a continuous survival battle...

stay strong and focus because when you have children life changes so much...and you will need energy and clear mind to be able to cope with it. Well I was extremely strong and extremely focused on my career and it still wasn't enough...

good luck to you!! And maybe we can arrange a photo shoot for my daughter... 

 

4

Hello Kev

I have just read "archemedes' reply" and it is spot  on.  You are worrying and punishing yourself about something that may or may not happen MANY years in the future.  You have your life ahead, so go for it, whatever you want to do.  I am older than "archemedes" and have had many "ups and downs" but have travelled the world, am still young at heart, love my fashion (as I am female) and my hobbies.  We have all got a pathway to go along in this life.....so go forth!  Good Luck!

5

Hi. Do you have any valid reasons to believe that this is likely happen to you? In any case, it's always good to have multiple hobbies, passions and projects - this may help.

6

I realize I am reading your reply to Kev's post 3 years late but I desperately need to talk to someone that has epiretinal membranes.  There are no support groups out there.  I am 56 years old and have had one in right eye for 18 months and it has made my life a living hell.  Now I am sure Posterior Vitreous Detachment has given me another one starting up in my good eye.  I am beginning to think there is no life left for me.  I quit my job last year basically out of fear of becoming useless at it.  Now I am afraid I won't be able to leave my house because going my regular places I cannot make out faces and all vision is blurry.  I am seeing yet another specialist next week.  Hoping that some of this is treatable, i.e. possibly dry eye acting up.  Please if you can get this message - help me understand these membranes.