i am a 69 year old male who has never had sex or a girlfriend due to anxiety.i can't even pleasure myself cause of strong antidepressants that effect my libido.does anyone know where I can get help before I die a virgin. The feeling churns me up inside......ROY.
Hi there Roy, let's just say there is no harm in you dying a virgin but if it is something that you want to experience and you believe you are unable to get a girlfriend then my only suggestion is a female escort perhaps, I wouldn't necessarily engage the services of a "lady of the night" but to pay for an escort for a number of hours and include a "night out", Im guessing they don't come cheap unlike a street lady (not that I know I hasten to add).
If performance anxiety is the issue, you can enquire with the escort regarding her experience with performance anxiety.
Neil
Dear Aspinsn you dont seem to understand my question. I said i was SCARED of women so an escort wouldn't be much use to me being a woman....thanks anyway..Roy.
I understand your fear, and anxiety is a bugger, can stop you doing things you love or doing anything for that matter. You've probably built up a huge anxiety towards sex and woman as it sounds like it's playing on your mind an aweful lot and you are more than likely over thinking things. Perhaps have a chat with your gp and maybe get some diazepam for the short term, just to help relax you, and then go online dating. That way you can get to know a lady before actually meeting them, that makes it a lot easier when you come face to face. Try not to worry about it, an just go with the flow. Sex is massively hyped up, especially if you've never had it, I bet once the deed is done, you'll wonder what you were worrying about. My sex drive suffers due to my anxiety, but I love my partner so I force myself to do it, but always end up enjoying it. Maybe that will be the same for you. But first step id say is the GP. Sorry I can't be more helpful, but that's the only thing I think would be worth a shot. Good luck.
Hi Roy, I also suffer of extreme anxiety , but i have panic attacks too. The Dr. Prescribed Buspar. I'm on 5mg 3 X day. It's helped some with general anxiety, I still have some anxiety, but it got rid of my panic attacks right away. It has some side effects, like gas and some acid stomach, I've been on it for a month. It also made me sensitive to noise, light and touch in the beggining, but the good side effect was the INCREASED libido Right away. It is also a med that is often used for sexual dysfunction.Talk to your Dr. because some SSRI meds decrease libido, like antidepressants. Buspar is not an SSRI med. it is an anxiolitic, I was told, and it's supposed to help some of the anxiety. You may need something in addition to this, but do your homework about side effects, since Doctors don't seem to understand about side effects (they probably have not been on meds to know) they only know what their sales rep tells them or possibly don't have time to read about all possible meds .I think that if you at least get your libido up, for now, you could at least pleasure yourself. It is known that orgasms releases some feel good hormones. Once you've been comfortable with yourself, you can work on being comfortable with another person and be a little less anxious. Take your time through every step. If you end up taking Buspar, make sure you don't drink Grapefruit Juice, since it adversely interacts with it. Good luck, I hope this helps.
I have been seeing gps & councillors since my twenties on a regular basis all of them useless. As for diazepam & antidepressants I already take them both. The antidepressants make me impotent so I can't even pleasure myself which used to be my only pleasure.......Thanks anyway.
my doctor is a sadist he only gives me a very small amount of Valium I use them up in two days. I buy most of mine on the net to keep the frustration at bay.
Is there any way you could wean yourself of the anti depressants and try something different?
Came of them once cold turkey it was quite frightening.hoping to wean myself off them soon. But I fear I'll be back to square one shakes depression etc.i am now back on them for the time being.
Is this Buspar better than viagra? Only I was prescribed viagra 100mg the strongest you can get & it did nothing for me. I was also abstaining from antidepressants at the time ( cold turkey )
Roy, I know that you have tried Viagra but have you tried Cialis. It is usually prescribed in cases of drug-induced impotence?
Hello Archemedes I have heard of Calias but my doctor never mentioned it. (In fact he didn't seem very interested in any thing I had to say) that's what modern doctors are like. The problem is I also take the anti depressant & Beta blockers both we'll know for being passion killers so the Calias/ viagra would have to FIGHT two drugs. Would it be strong enough?.....Thanks for your interest...ROY.
Hello Roy, Cialis is thought to be better than Viagra as it can be taken with many different medications and it's action is much longer-lasting.
As for your doctor, if he seems disinterested why not change to another one?
A doctors job is not only to heal but to attempt to improve the quality of life for us, and from what you say by his disinterest, he is effectively failing in the latter respect.
They don't make a diazepam strong enough that would allow me to go on line & chat to a woman. Let alone actually meet her.
If is any consolation to you Roy I can guarantee that there are women out there who feel as isolated, unfulfilled and as sexually frustrated as you do.
Trying to put any nagative thoughts behind you and trying a stimulent like Cialis might be the very thing that you need.
Regards
Rod
Hello Roy,
It seems you have tried almost everything people have suggested .All to no avail.However no one has mentioned what are called toys.
I mean such things as I know some women use,Not having used any myself I cannot name them ,in particular. But if you google sexual toys ,I am sure you will get one big list of them ,you could use these on your own ,so no need for fear of being scared with a Lady.
Just my humble thought ,hopefully maybe of some use
Take Care
millyimp1322
I don't know much about toys but I would still think you would still be able to get a feeling from masturbation as it's basically the same thing.
Or maybe even consider a sex therapist?
I don't want to sound awkward but don't you think in 69 years that I have tried all the things that you good people have suggested......including sex therapies........Thanks for all of your ideas bye....ROY.
Anxiety can really destroy life. Was it harder to deal with it earlier?