Fed up with OA

Bones, joints and muscles
1

Hi all

I am new to this part of forum.. before l was on the Hip then the Knee and then the benifits as l was applying for PIP.

Well l was totally fine up until l turned 41. I worked full time as a bank manager loved walking and going on holiday with my husband where we used to walk for miles.

Then suddenly l got a pain in my groin.....l just shrugged it of as a muscle or tendon l had pulled but after 8 months and it getting worse my GP sent me for xrays. A week later l was called back and told l had OA in both hips and they both needed replaced. I seen the xray myself and they looked nasty. Lucky l have BUPA as a benifit through my work so l had my 1st hip replacement on. Dec 2015 and my other on Feb 2016. I found them painful for the first few days then it eased off. Within 2 weeks l was walking without aids but had pains in my back. When l was recovering from them l started getting pains in my knee. I just put it down to my hips being replaced. But the pain was getting worse and my consultant took xrays of my knees and what do you know both had OA and needed replaced. He said 1 was worse than other. So l had my 1st knee replacement in aug 2016. Omg this was a painful op and my consultant did warm me they are not as good as hips and that l will know l always have a metal knee and you can"t lean on it and the nerves are still very tendor. Then my ankle got pain and they said l would need my ankle fused so l had that done before my knee. It was the worst to recover from as l had to wear that moonboot for 6 weeks non weight bearing then 6 weeks weight bearing. It was awful.

Then l got terrible news that my mum had cancer. So the knee got put of to help mum. By now l was part time at work and gave up my role as l was going through to much. My mum was told she would be cured after 4 weeks of treatment. Chemo and Radio. The 4 weeks past and she was panicing and terrified. For months after it she was not the same person. She was convinced she still had it. Even after ct scans and xrays they kept saying she was fine and it was only scar tisssue. She got very depressed and needed us in all the time.she said she had lumps on her shoulder and kneck. We were convinced she was imagining it. Again they told us she was fine. Then l saw her kneck and there was lumps

I took her to GP myself where they found a blood clot a swollen lymth nodes she was sent straight to hospital because of the clot. She never got out. Her cancer has spread through her lymth nodes and across her chest and god knows where else.

I was told from a doctor in the hospital she had a few weeks at most. I got her moved to a pallative care hospice and in 2 weeks l watched my mum go downhilll so fast. She died on 10th Aug and l have been so fed up. But my knee was in agony so my new knee is getting replaced on Nov 21st. I am so scared as my mum was always there to help me. I just wonder what l have done to deserve this. My life has been taken over by OA and then l have lost my mum. I am not sure whats happening with my job. I asked to do 2 days but have been of so long l am not sure l will have a job to go back to. I will be on my final stage for attedance when they can decide if l am worth employing. Which l don't think they will. But all l can think abt is my mum l miss her so much.

Why did l desrve OA thats probably just going to get worse.

Laura

X

2

Lors, you poor thing, and soooo young!  I’m afraid there is no answer to your questions - you’ve just pulled the short straw.😡  Any OA is difficult to deal with, but with so many problems!?!  There’s  nowhere to run to and losing your mother in such a way is just adding to all your problems.  You will need to find some inner help, do your family help?  Have you a good friend who will listen/commiserate/help?

My thoughts go out to you and you will always find someone on this forum who will at least listen to your woes.

All the best from Constance. 💐💐💐💐

3

Thanks so much for your kind words

I have got a great family and husband.

My family are still all in stages of grief especially my dad who is struggling at life without my mum. He is trying his best to support me through this knee op but he is not my mum. He is such a great dad but was the quiet one of them and is trying to learn to be more vocal and stuff but me and my big sister know he is so sad and lonely without her. He must feel awful as l know.me and my sister cry everyday. So he must feel a lot worse. I have a brother but he is not like us he went to florida 2 weeks if that after she died. He has a house there and disapeered for a month. So me and my sister were left to help my dad and it was so hard as the pain in my knee was awful. I stay quite far from them where as my sister and brother both stay in same place. Its getting harder for me to visit my dad which hurts me. But l need this knee done now l can't wait. My husbands brilliant but does not drive which makes things harder. Oh well just need to get on with it .

Thanks

Laurax

4

Oh Laura,

      I was so sad reading your story.   You have been thru way too much.  None of us deserves any of these medical  problems and then you have the loss of your mother to cope with too.   That in and of itself is a heartbreaking story

I am hoping you have someone that can help you deal with all of what you are going thru.  Maybe it would be good to look into grief counseling and perhaps some medication for depression as you  try and cope with all the loss.   I wish I had more to offer.  But we are here to support you as best we can.   I hope you are confident in your OA doctor.   If not then maybe you could search for another.   Try and get through one day at a time and if you can try and get outside some ea day in good weather.   I find meditation and yoga helpful and trying to take a walk everyday.    But you have a lot of joint involvement.   Water exercise has been very helpful--esp warm water to many others

   Please stay in touch here and let us know hou you are doing

Sending you gentle hugs/  thoughts and prayers  xo

    

5

Thanks Gloria l feel like l am living each day and l can't get my mum from my mind. I have tried grief counciling once but its not for me. I am just fed up with life really. I have a great husband but his life is ruined because of OA to. Then my precious mum died and l never realised how much of an impact it would have on us all. I still wake up days and don't realise it has happened. Life is so cruel sometimes.

Xx