Feel like im missing out sexually

Sexual health
1

Please dont judge me .....i have been married for 28 years and my wife and i dont have a sex life anymore. Please undersatnd that this is not my wifes fault, she is happy without sex. But i really need it and find myself constantly frustrated when i see other women and despite my best efforts to control myself, ie looking away, forcing myself to look the other way. I just cannot control my sexual thoughts.

im not the sort of man that just lusts after women but yes, i do have very lustful thoughts of desire for pretty every woman i see, i understand that its wrong to think of women this way and I do try so hard to avoid thinking like this.

despite all this, even though I do sort of cope if that is the right word, I find that I just crave a womans attention, any woman, i just am so desperate for intamicy with a woman, i dont mean just sexual but to feel like a woman wants to respind to me, i need to feel wanted sexually and I am so desperate to enjoy deep and meaningfull sex without having to resort to lustful thoughts.

does this make sense? I have tried to find help before but find I get judged by, usually woman who think that I am just a typucal bloke and all he wants is to get his rocks off. That couldnt be further from the truth.

i just feel so very lonely inside, i dont feel complete as a man. I have had an affair with a married woman and quite a few sexual encounters with different woman. I just crave a womans attention and I find my self flirting with pretty much any woman I meet.

i dont know where I can get help. Even masturbation, which dies help by taking the immediate sense of frustration away just leaves me feeling disgusted with myself. 

This is another issue that I yave as I find it very hard to Cum, i get the erection and have all the sensation but when I masturbate, unless I look at very explicate sex videos I just cannot ejeculate and get the release. It seems like I am having to resort to more extreem levels of porn to obtain the release such as anal sex videos which I am completely dependant upon to find a temporary release.

i am so frustrated and left feeling so empty inside, can somebody please say they understand all this and point me in the right direction to get some help on this?

thank you for taking the time to read this,

chris

 

2

First of all, I commend you for coming on here to get help with your situation. I truly think you are concerned with how this is affecting your marriage. When you say that your wife is happy without sex, what do you mean? Is she denying you sex? Have you spoken to her about the lack of sex in your marriage? You really need to address her about this. If she dosen't know, how do you expect her to safisfy your needs? Also, she may have low sex drive or a sexual disorder. I know you say it's not her fault, but the blame can't all be on you either unless you're doing something to kill her sex vibe. I think you two should consult with a relationship counselor.

As far as your masturbation habits and your inability to cum without porn, this should definitely be an area of concern. Porn can really be destructive to your sex life because it gives you unrealistic standards for your sex life and well as current and future sex partners. I recommend that you stay away from the porn and try to think of things about your wife that turn you on instead. I know this may sound difficult, but I don't want you to end up with sexual dysfunction due to extreme/explicit porn usage. I hope you and your wife are able to resolve these issues and resume a normal and healthy sex life soon.

Cheers,

Pink Taco

3

Thank you for your honest reply Pink Taco,

yes we have talked about, she says she feels guilty for not wanting to have sex. Its not strictly true to say she denies me but i dont want to have sex with someone who would only do it for me. I always wanted to have a relationship where I believed that my partner would want me sexually. Now to be truthfull, i dont really think we have anything sexual between us. I think she has a lovely body and she is a pretty looking woman but she doesnt seem to ge interested in being feminine, she wears just plain clothes and never wears makeup, sounds very superficial but its complicated  i suppose.

its just too complicated I cant describe it I cant see it ever being resolved, i think I shall only ever get partial satisfaction from living a fantasy in my head and just continue to flirt, pushing things as close as  i dare. 

I heve even stooped so low to use a prostitute once and have been tempted to do so on numerous other times.

i can only think its like alchohol, the only thing that excites nowadays is everything thats wrong, I just dont know where to deal with it. I am not really sure i want to efen try to resolve our sexual relatiinship, if she doesnt me sexually then I have no alternative to just find it where I can. Even though there is no emotional comfort in it.

thanks anyway though.

 

4

It sounds like you might want to consider divorce. I don't see the point in continuing to be married to someone that's not sexaully attracted to you. Just stepping outside of marriage and having sexual affairs is not the answer. You may not realize it, but this is probably hurting your wife as well.Since this issue cannot be resolved, divorce is the best option at this point. After you're divorced, you can have as many sexual escapades as you want without any guilt. Personally, single life is just more fun.

5

You mention only wanting sex w those who desire you, but prostitutes don't desire you or lust after you. You also are putting your wife greatest risk for STDs and yourself for that matter. If you can't fix it, then maybe time to move on. We only are in this life once, why stay unhappy if you don't have to?