I have a daughter 17 years old and a son 9 years old. My husband, a nice person but is behind me for finding faults in everything that I say or do. I am tired of trying to impressing him. Every time there is something wrong I the way I respond or act. I can't do anything more and am thoroughly depressed. I am on the verge of running away.
If he is constantly criticising you and making you feel bad, what makes you say he is a nice person?
Thank you Mari! He is nice with every one, and the reason of constant criticism is to make me a better person as per him.
Hi Mini, and why does he feel the need to make you a better person!?! I obviously don't know your situation, you or your husband. All I will say is please look up narcissitic personality disorder and see if any of it matches your husband. I was with one for nearly 20years. My children are 17 and 11. I used to contantly want to run away too.
Nobody should be constantly having to 'impress' their partner. I couldn't do or say anything right either.
PM me if you like. XX
Hi Mini, sorry to hear about your husband behaving towards you the way he is. I don't normally say what I want to say feeling the need often to sit on the fence, but I will say, this is not right. You should not have to try and impress anyone let alone a husband. And criticism does not make anyone a better person. He is picking on you to make himself feel better. Control springs to my mind and I absolutely agree with Mari, this is Narcissism at its finest. Please stop trying to impress him, you simply won't. And you don't need to. I will go so far as to tell him to either do it himself or shut up! But that's a bit rude I guess. Do you have a good friend to chat to? Could you even tell him how it is making you feel, would he listen? I'd be interested to know if your children especially your oldest has picked up on anything. I'm here if you want to chat. Julia
Hi Mini
Dont run away if you want too leave him get a divorce. But please take your kids with you don't abandon them with him. He will treat the kids the same. Protect them too.
Absolutely! I have been trying to impress him eversince I am married and everytime I have failed and too tired to do that now. Thank you for your reply
Thank you Julia! I don't have a good friend with whom I can share my thoughts or feelings. I agree with you completely, As you said, let me stop impressing him, and protect my children, thank you so much for your guidance.
Thanks Ashley, yes I will protect my children as they are everything for me....
Hi Mini - no wonder you're exhausted! Your self confidence must be in the gutter. Time to stand up to him. Tell him what his faults are. Like, he's controlling, manipulative, that you are not a project for him to 'correct', that you are busing raising 2 kids, that his constant picking is exhausting you and that you have had enough and will leave if it continues. This man may be nice to those outside, but what he is doing to you is a reflection of who he truly is. If he won't stop and change the situation, then you need to. - and stick to your guns on it.