It's been 2 months since my breakdown, 24/7 anxiety, struggling to leave the house and panicking when i do.
I'm waiting to see a consultant, can't get there but they said they will request me a home visit now, may or may not happen, i start cbt via the phone in about 6 weeks.
So onto the reason for my current heartbreak, i have kids, 2 are doing a small school performance tommorow one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
I wake up panicking, i panic non stop when i'm out and i don't see how i will cope with going, i want to so much and it will kill me inside to not go but i have a huge wall of fear stopping me.
I do try to go out, it takes 2 hours of panic and tears upon waking then a dose of my meds but i still panic and feel general fear the whole time, i get feelings of being off balance too.
I am so upset, 2 months ago i could have done this, i don't know how to cope knowing i can't do it now 
sorry u struggling at the moment its very hard i know. can i ask what your sumptoms were or are now and what you are doing to try to help . it s a viscious circle to start and one thing triggers another sometimes. see if i can send some ideas that i use ok
Thanks debi, I have anxiety 24/7 and panic attacks with racing heart, shaking,sweating and body jolts about every 2 hours, they wake me up all night.
I have what I describe as a 'wall of fear' about going out, I don't know what I am actually scared of because I know anxiety cannot harm me but it's a horrid intense fear and feeling of unease.
I am having really bad balance problems, I just feel like I am about to fall over and physical issues have been ruled out, my limbs are also very heavy and I can't think straight or concentrate.
I do breathing techniques, meditation and try positive self talk, I take diazepam but it's not much use as I have been on it a long time.
I force myself out of the door but constantly feel scared and that I need to hurry to get to places or around the shop, like I said it takes 2 hours of panic and tears before I will even get in the car then my hubby has to get going before I change my mind,it's really awful.
Don't be hard on yourself, you are ill. This isn't going to be forever and you can make it up to them soon. But for now focus on your recovery.
Thank you Kerry, i try so hard not to beat myself up over it but the guilt really gets me down, that and the missing out on things.
As a parent myself I understand how you are feeling, hope you manage to sleep soon, that would help xx
Thank you, i really do need some proper sleep, sadly it never happens anymore because the anxiety jumps me awake all night xx
I know exactly what your going through. I have ben dealing with it for 4 months now I have a 6 year old and haven't been able to go to any of her school events or dance classes or do much with her at all in that time. I missed my brothers wedding, her Xmas concert bc my anxiety and panic attacks were so bad. I feel very heartbroken too bc I don't want to be like this I would much rather not feel this way and be able to do all those things I just want to feel normal again and I see no end in sight. I am not as bad as I was a few months ago but I'm still not good and I have extreme health anxiety so every time I get a symptom I panic and when one goes away another new one comes. It's exhausting. I google my symproms and convince myself I have a serious disease.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this too, it's horrible to have this illness steal away so many precious things, i did manage to go to the school event in the end but felt like i was going to collapse the whole time and i was sitting down holding my husband's hand.
You would think it would have at least reassured me and made me feel hopeful but i still panic each time it comes to leaving the house, i can't just go anywhere like before and making plans is impossible, i cry for the kid's sake as much as my own because it's so unfair to them that this rotten illness stops us doing things.
I have stopped googling symptoms finally, i was thinking all kinds of things so i forced myself to stop it, like you i just want the anxiety to stop and for all of this to end.
I forced myself out this morning with my husband and in the shop i felt like i was going to run out, i didn't but i felt constantly awful like i do every time.
They say progress is slow but i can't see any at all yet, are you having any kind of therapy at all?
same everytime i go to the bathroom i have to use a stick or my bf to help me i cant even rest on the couch i feel so off balance cant shower i wanna cry because i feel ill never be nornal again ;(