Hello, I last year rented out my house and moved abroad to make a go of things with my long distance boyfriend. I had no solid plan but knew I needed to escape the dire situation I was in; very unhappy in my job, and generally feeling dissatisfied with life, and was hopeful for more. It felt great for a while. I loved the freedom of my days being my own, no pressures, no responsibility.. But now, a year later I am drowning in anxiety and I'm pretty sure, depression. I'm living in a very small town where not many people speak English and most don't even try to understand my attempts at speaking their language. There are no clubs, classes, or the usual ways of meeting people. I've lost all my independence and with that, my confidence. I have this annoying, nagging feeling of people not liking me.. when I meet anyone or have any kind of interaction I find myself coming away thinking I sound like a bitch or I sound boring, I didn't speak enough, or I spoke too much.. I feel trapped. Things with my boyfriend are pretty bad. I'm not sure if it's us or if it's a symptom of how I'm feeling. I've lost my identity and I am so afraid to return to my 'life' in the UK; living for the weekends, earning money, saving money, spending money. I'm an artist and creative designer but its the art that I love. I was brought up by a single parent and have been fiercely independent from a young age, always earning my own way. I've left high salaries for minimum wage, I've lived frugally by choice. I don't need a lot.. I want a different life, I just don't know what. I think the problem I have with self esteem and not enjoying being around people is my biggest on-going issue as I've always felt loneliness as a result. Sorry, thinking out loud here - can you tell I've no one to speak to? Advice very welcome, thanks!
Hi, I am sorry you feeling that way.
well, only what I can say, you not Alone!
I have lost my all family members , so I do feel depressed and sad and emotionally upset
I live in the UK and have 4kids( who probably keep me going)
You wont believe, I have only 1 friend in the UK to whom sometimes I can talk over the phone.
Its mean , I have none to talk , to meet, to have a fun.
Its is important to have in our live who cares, and no matter were u live , there will be always there for u.
If you ever need to talk I wl be here for you my friend.
After I lost my mother , I had none in my life to keep happy, care for…
If I ever can make changes in anyone’s life that will be my pleasure .
Get in touch if you feel like.
Best wishes!!!
hi rachel, i can’t quite completely imagine what this feels like. i remember being told you can feel ‘alone’ in a room full of people. loneliness just doesn’t strike with old people. it can hit anyone. i feel sad that you feel so alone. you can speak on here. we will listen.