Feeling low

Hi all.  Just wanted to say that today I had a little cry.  I'm sad because of how awful "down below" looks and feels.  I feel deformed and not sexy like a woman at all anymore.  I worry that pretty soon it will all be completely gone and I will be as anatomically correct as a barbie doll!  I have a tiny nub of one inner labia left and the other one is completely gone cry

I feel cheated by life, but mostly depressed that if the diagnoses had come sooner, more of my womanhood might have been saved.

oh ..i'm so sorry g. Really i am. 

Are you rubbing something on and massaging yourself? Can you stimulate the circulation?

But its not the point is it? ...I acknowledge your saddnes g.

Love marey.

I totally understand how you feel, I have those days where I cry and feel cheeted. I was diagnosed early but still lost my inner labia.  I too worry mine will worsen once I hit menopause. I just hope continued use of the clob will keep it from worsening.  I try to remind myself that I could have something worse.  Skin diseases just seem so aweful because it can be seen by others as well as a constant reminder ti ourselves. Definately worse with it being down there. I can handle my other skin conditions much better. 

Can't give uo on this though, keep applying all your creams and such and try to stay positive (it's tough).  Im considering trying liquid vitamin cocktail that ine women mentioned rubbing down there.  At this point im willing to give anything a try to keep the skin heathy.

Hi g30rg313, I totally get how you're feeling. We have plenty of reason to be bitter about our late diagnoses. You have the right treatment, so I'm optimistic about staving off further atrophy and fusing. Clob more often when there's active flare, oil up all the time and only do the penetration/friction business redface when you're 100%. I think the scarring of open wounds is what causes fusing and narrowing of the opening. When we're badly flared our flesh is sort of sticky and very prone to sticking to itself. I would like to have known this when I was thirty, but at least I feel I have the power to prevent closing right up like the worst cases.

Oh George, you are no less a woman just because there is slightly less of you than before. Your feminity isnt in a couple of flaps of tissue, it is YOU, your hormones, the way you think, the way you dress walk and laugh. I suspect before The Itch or whatever name you give the condition you had not looked at your undercarriage very much. Now it is a good idea to keep an eye on it but in the same way you would feel for lumps in your breast. 

To put the loss of structure in perspective, my son's new girl friend had to have her breast removed last week for an aggressive cancer. she is early 40's. 

I can't remember whether you have a husband or partner  but I guess he hasn't noticed much in the way of change of appearance , perhaps he is aware of your loss of pleasant sensation. Why not ask what He thinks about  the New You. Would you mind if he had a condition that slightly changed the look of a hidden part of him?

dry your eyes book an appointment for a new hair do facial or go buy a pretty top or get your nails manicured, 

no one said life was fair and the way we respond to difficulties can make our lives tough or relaxed. Do try and not focus on what might have been but what you can do to slow the progression and do try and look for the silly the funny or the ridiculous.

go and get a hug from your nearest and dearest, and if possible talk to them about your feelings 

sue

I hope I wasn't too abrupt I do empathise, really I do, especially if you are having pain and soreness of a raw vulva. I faced the prospect of being on my own (following the old old story of a younger woman coming on the scene and the subsequent series of stress filled years following on from the previous difficult years which resulted in my diagnosis,) with the knowledge that most of the men I know want a full phyiscal relationship and I really can't face the emotional rejection or the physical pain of a "force able entry" so to speak. Do look at the whole of your life and rejoice in the good things you have

Sue, this helped me recall that there's more to life than sex. Being depressed about LS is never going to improve the affectionate but sexless relationship I have. I'm noticing times when I now choose to be kind rather than grumpy. It's the least I can do!

Talking of femininity, on the plus side, I now get to wear a skirt and stockings for work instead of pants on "medical grounds".  So at least I feel more feminine in that respect.  I am the only female colleagues out of around 180 who wear a skirt and it does kind of make me feel better emotionally.  Also physically I feel a lot more comfortable down there now

Good, we are trend setters too, friends after saying how nice it is to see a skirt, now are wearing one too much yo the pleasure of their husbands, they can now see more bare skin!

I like to think that we are all different and no two vaginas the same.  Some have big labia and some have them so small they are difficult to see. These are ones without LS.  I just think that I am me.  Try not to compare yourself with others and I hope you manage to control this condition.  I think we all lose some of our shape with this condition but this is true after a pregnancy and childbirth too.  I know stress makes this condition worse so if you can try not to worry.  We r all here if you need to talk.  Take care of yourself.

Dear g

You are not alone in feeling this way. I often have a little cry because I am now a completely different person having previously loved sex and practically overnight just stopped. I cry for the loss of my personality as much as the loss of my lady bits. Like Sha I was diagnosed early but still lost my inner labia very quickly and am currently not sure how my clitoris will end up. So earlier diagnosis for you wouldn't necessarily have meant a different outcome. I'm not sure that that sounds in ANY way comforting but I just think that it's one thing less to beat yourself up about and a little mental energy saved. Because the physical aspects to this condition are one thing and there are rightly many threads on the forum that deal with this but the emotional aspects are debilitating too and mentally exhausting. I hope this post helps even if only a tiny bit to know that others feel as you do. Having said all that I have just taken on board what the other Chrisy has said and it's making me think!

From one Chrissy to another Chrisy biggrin. Thank you for this post. You are really making me think.