Hi...I have just joined the site as I am feeling a bit scared and isolated with lots of symptoms connected to anxiety, ocd, menopause and other issues. I hope it will help to share with others and not feel so alone with it all.
I have what I call my coping tools and I write lots of positive lists but some days the fear and dread make it difficult to face the day and I struggle getting out of my flat. I feel safer being home.
Symptoms include....dread and fear,exhaustion and feeling so weak that it is an effort to face anything. Breathlessness and panic, bloated and upset stomachs....the list goes on. Also the ocd symptoms which can be debilitating. I would love to hear from others and their similar experiences, it would be such a relief to not feel so cut off it is hard to explain unless you experience it and it helps so much to get things out in the open. I also experience a lot of shame and sadness about past events and some days it rears its ugly head and I feel this immense sadness inside. Thank you for reading....Ellie.
Me too! I have all the symptoms that you have....my anxiety has come and gone over the years....It's been horrible lately. I am a widow...have my Mom and (refuses to work) brother living with me. My 30 year old daughter recently moved into an apt. with her boyfriend....took all her belongings except this little five year boy....who is now my responsibility. Am starting a job at a preschool soon and just feel overwhelmed. No one listens to me. Or tries to provide any comfort. I really screwed up by drinking too much a few nights ago....got on facebook...and berated everyone for not talking to me. Had a terrible hangover later...but the real suffering...the shame and anxiety are the worst I have felt.
Thank you for your message it is appreciated. I hate being negative but I am hiding away today....I could sleep the day away as a form of escape. Good to know I am not alone with it.
Thank you for replying and so sorry to hear you have all that going on. I think the only thing any of us can do is to try and hold on and do our best to get through it....though saying that it is a struggle at times. Its so weird I feel lonely and yet I find it hard to be around people too long as the only way I can cope with it is by myself...I feel like either put a front on or be a right misery and so easier to be alone....catch 22.
Hi Donna..thanks for your reply. Many things have happened in the past....too much to list that created immense feelings of shame and self loathing which created a spiral of constant washing, ocd, body dysmorphia, anxiety and depression. I am trying numerous things to deal with the painful feelings...I call them my coping tools.....cleaning to feel safe, writing things down and trying to get a nurturing inner voice and taking showers. I don't think I will ever be truly free of it but trying to accept it all best I can. Menopause symptoms exaggerate it all.
I think loss, rejections and bullying and my family dismissing me for years have added to it. Recently I lent some money to someone I saw for a time and it was a massive mistake. I had put a stop to it as it wasn't working for me and he only wanted a sexual relationship...since then not heard from him or about my money. I hope he will do the right thing and pay it back....wish I had not been so foolish but cannot change the situation.
Sorry for the long post just good to share...thank you Ellie x
I've been through all the negative, sad, self loathing, guilt, etc. too. At times, ((many, many times actually) I didn't want to live. I finally realized it's the hormones driving my emotions and not a sudden awakening of how I'm a horrible person and just realized it. I've been trying to train myself to face the facts, (own my past mistakes) and think how everyone has made mistakes and that I'm no worse than anyone else, rather than reliving and agonizing over every bad experience. The sadness will pass....even though we may feel that this is a mental condition, it actually isn't. It's a physical problem...your hormones will eventually settle down and this nightmare will be over!