After my really stressful day yesterday, I coped with my day at work to a fashion. Home, had something to eat, I'm lying in front of the fire. I am totally relaxed but my eyes seen vacant, my head feels as if it's not here. Difficult to describe. I feel totally shot away. Why???I almost feel as if I'm going to pass out.
Have you had your blood pressure checked recently?
yes by my gp last Friday, 130/84 so its ok.
Have you been diagnosed with anxiety?
Anxiety and depression due to bereavement. On Cit for 16 weeks 20mg then 40 now back to 20 for the last week.
Hello Tina it could be that you have changed your mg from one week to the next and it also sounds like your anxiety it can effect us in ways we never would imagine. And I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel like your head is not here. Is your anxiety in your neck and head like you get dizzy, numbness in your head , feeling you could pass out or get sick. That's how mine is my heart races but I don't get that whole chest feeling like some people do when they have panic attack. Plus if you keep thinking about it it just makes it worse.if it gets real bad I would contact the doc. I hope you feel better !!!!!! Let us know how you are doing!!
Hi Teal just woken up from a really weird dream after a few hours sleep. I'd never had that sensation before, it felt like it wasn't me, I don't normally feel dizzy I just felt quite vacant. Ill see if I can get back to sleep. Thanks for replying. The meds had to be reduced due to consistent dreaming and some were very disturbing.
Hope you got to read my reply on grief cycle - it really does explain this.
Mel Xx
Hi Melanie
Yes I did thanks, I've been seeing a bereavement councillor on a regular basis who is a great help and I've got a good book recommended by her which does have cbt exercises throughout it but I've reached a brick wall and I keep going round in circles so she is going to try and find a way to get me to knock this wall down. That's the best way I can describe it. At least I feel as if I've had a good sleep even though I've woken several times dreaming. X
Good Morning Tina,
Glad to hear someone else feels a little not here at times.
I joined this forum due to work related stress and am now on extended sick leave (not due to the forum!!!).
Since increasing to 20mg I have gone from very little and slight side effects to being daily spaced, feeling freaky, more buzzing in the ears and don't mention dreaming! I wake up to go to the loo from one dream and either go back to the same or start a new one! From the time I fall asleep to when I get up (properly get up) I have multiple dreams, some I have to wake my self up from!!! And then theres the peeing, I dream I have got up and gone to the loo and am peeing, which, again, I have to wake myself up and check I haven't wet the bed!!! (I am a 57 year old house trained male and not used to all this!).
I am also so very glad that, whatever you are feeling you come here to talk and hope we, as a forum, no, as friends can help you through.
One thing that has crossed my mind (and please excuse me for not remembering if you have mentioned this), but have you had proper bereavement counselling?
After loosing my Mum, then my first born neice and then my Dad (a few years apart) I was not prescribed anything (as I guess, men were supposed to just get on with it and I tried). Also, I did not have a place like this to come to for help and advice, but, fortunately, I did have a few good close friends that could call on their own experiences and they helped me through to a point. That point was to be able to live day to day with the grief of three traumatic events, events I have not got over (nor do I want to), but have learnt to live with.
It is ironic that, I used to eat cheese late in the evening to dream about the ones I loved, that had passed, and I missed, it actually worked to an extent. Now I have multiple dreams every frigging night, but so far, no one I miss has turned up yet!
Fortunately non of these dreams are work related, although there are some work related people in them.
These dreams are a little scary at times and I try and accept the dark thoughts and places they take me (I get occasional dark thoughts during the day, especially, after taking the med) and deal with them by shutting them in imaginary rooms in my mind. Sometimes the door to a room may come ajar and the thought pops back into my thoughts, but that can happening, and I just push it back in and close the door again. It kinda works, may be worth a try?
Anyway, it is the weekend let us all try and have a stress free non dark couple of days. Any probs come and chat, now that is a safetty net to fall back on when we need it!
Big up Tina! X
David
Hi David
Thank you for your reply. I've been seeing a bereavement councillor on a regular basis who is a great help and I've got a good book recommended by her which does have cbt exercises throughout it but I've reached a brick wall and I keep going round in circles so she is going to try and find a way to get me to knock this wall down. That's the best way I can describe it.(From previous discussion)
I just get scared as the last time I felt really out of it I drove 40 odd miles to a secluded beach with the intention of drowning, obviously not successful.
My dreams some have been very disturbing fighting people, taking overdoses and so on. Thats why the GP decided to reduce my meds as she thought it could be related. I like your way of shutting your dark thoughts in imaginary rooms, trouble is I have great trouble controlling these, it's almost like i am pocessed, but I might see if I can make it work.
Enjoy your weekend, might go for a walk in the snow, could be quite refreshing.
Cheers
Tina x
Hi Tina,
Your still on that griefing cycle and you will be only able to break that brick wall down when your brain is ready to. To try and force it sometimes can do more harm than good. Take it easy and slowly, slowly. We all go round and round in circles at some time in our life and as long as we are moving forward, no matter how slowly - it is all that is required. We are all so different.
Big hugs Mel Xx
I found this thread so interesting.... I keep feeling far away and almsot dizzy - and cant stand to have anything in my mouth. (I have a dental plate). When I feel the worst I go and check my blood pessure, and its always either quite high or pretty slow with a very slow pulse rate.