Hi everyone. For some really strange reason i have this deep feeling that i need to impress everyone around me and i know that its not logical. you can't impress everyone ever! but i just can't shake this feeling. Does anyone know what it could be?
and please be brutally honest. any advice wether good or bad will help me thanks
It doesn't necessarily need to be a problem, sometimes its just a personality trait. Its only an issue if it causes distress or issues in your personal life . there can be lots of reasons why people in general have this desire, therapy can help you find out - but again only if its troublesome
yeh its doing my head in. people don't seem pleased with the path i go but it is my life and i think i should just let those people go. they are just holding me back. i think thats what it is
do you find that you are competative in other areas of stuff such a sport or anything at all?? and do you find that you feel that you think your not better than everyone else and this is the reason for you wanting to impress everyone? this might just be your personality that your competative and like to impress
yeh i feel there is a lot of judgment on me because i am always being myself and i guess i dont abide by other peoples norms. im my own person and i guess that can scare people maybe? but iv always been like that. i feel though that they are trying to trap me into the same way they are and i just cant be that way. i have to be myself
well maybe that is just your personality especially if you have been like it all your life to you cant change a person personality if you like to impress people why dont you take up some sort of perfoming like do you play any music or anything? try make the most of your personality
Low self esteem
If you are dealing with anxiety over a period of time in my experience you start to lose confidence in yourself and are more easily influenced by what others say. I think we can tend to be very judgmental on ourselves for being 'weak' or 'lacking courage' in the face of fear. This can then undermine our sense of being a 'strong' self. Perhaps, given our stereotypical conditioning this effects men more, I don't know. People suffering from anxiety and phobia problems are some of the most courageous people around because they often have to face their fears daily and alone. Also, wanting to impress people is a very normal thing to feel. I think most people want to be admired because we all want to be loved and that's a very normal human thing to want. It might be that you are worrying about nothing.
Wanting to be liked?
Yes it certainly knocks the confidence. I have the 'not good enough' complex in my head. Lots of fear too.
Most people have the 'not good enough' thing if you really talk to them, even top stars and performers are always afraid that they will be 'caught out' as not being good enough. The trouble is, we dont talk about these things openly in society, like depression and anxiety etc.. if we did we would realise that most of the population feels this way at some time and that it is perfectly 'normal' and human to feel this way. Then we wouldnt angst about it and condemn ourselves for being 'lesser'. That's why I find this forum useful as it reminds me that there are many many people out there feeling exactly the same way as me. If you dont feel competent and able to deal with your life/emotions/thoughts etc then you are bound to be scared because we feel to survive in this world we need to be competent. This is what we are taught by society (mostly the media). It isn't true. Just look at all the incompetent politicians there are. It's just they dont worry about it. Maybe we are trying to be too perfect. Maybe we should let ourselves of the hook a bit. Maybe we should lower the standards we set for ourselves a bit. Maybe we could teach ourselves to be more relaxed about being human.
I totally agree.
If we could only just accept ourselves for who we are - even our imperfections. Because no-one is perfect - but we're all perfectly human, flaws and all!
It is human to want to be liked and accepted - perhaps we should all spend a little time in liking and accepting ourselves too!