Floating through life, feels like I don’t have a purpose . How can I escape this feeling?

Mental health
1

I know this seems sudden as I never post on here, but right now Im in dire need for somone to listen. You dont need to respond, just read and understand... If I vented this to anyone irl they'd think im overreacting or whatever, so a forum full of strangers seems to be the best audience.

Do you know that feeling when your just... floating through life? That's what I feel like I'm doing. I go day by day, doing what needs to be done. Nothing more nothing less. I have no real aspirations or dreams in life. The emotion called "Passion" is completely foreign to me. Nothing is exciting for me.. everything is just is.

I have a few friends who I have a good time with, but in the end I prefer to isolate myself and even I don't know the reason why. I've always been the "backup" friend if you know what I mean. I feel like the icing to an already perfect cake.

When people are lonely because the "main" friend isn't available or is out of reach, they come to me because of my pleasing and agreeable persona. But I've never had a loyal friend, which is fine, at least I affect other people's lives in a positive way. I don't care much about not having a loyal friend and I'm assuming it's because I've never had a fulfilling and meaningful relationship in the first place.

I have no idea what I want in life. Doesn't really matter what I do, or where I go. I don't have any real plans either. I just wait for whatever comes next, or whatever's given to me. I'm unmotivated. I don't put effort into the things I do because I can't find a reason to put effort..

I feel like I'm just breathing, not living. An empty vessel waiting to be filled. I'm an observer, looking at people take action, while I have no idea what to do and what action to take so I end up not doing anything at all.

I don't feel depressed, but I'm not happy either.. and I have no idea what this feeling is called. Neutral I guess? I see life as.. life. It doesn't suck, but it's not awesome. I don't see the sunshine and rainbows in things, and don't see them as storm clouds either. You get the point.

I always feel like I'm forced into situations, but I just go with the flow cause it's easy. I feel like I'm on a boat where I just let the winds takes me wherever it whims, instead of taking control and setting the sails towards the destination. I wish I could just get life done and over with.. I can't remember the last time I felt anything real.

Hopefully some day I come across something that will give me that rush in my blood, the drive to actually try. But right now it just feels so empty. Purposeless

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Hello there. I did hear you say that no one has to respond but I read what you said and I had to at least let you know we really are out here. Also may I say that you have a way with words...I think you can really write as well as express your feelings in a way that I really understood you. Let me know if you would like further feedback. Diane

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Hi Rayver

First how old are you, and have you felt this way most of your life? I would guess that a whole slew of people share your sentiments. Floating through life?I can relate, but im in a hormonal state of depression, that which sees not much joy in anything. just flatlined on life.

You will find that passion, that rush. It may take some therapy or support from someone who is good and whom you can trust..you may just incidentally run into that person, but I guarantee that you have it in you.

You may be ready for enlightenment. Im on the journey but not there yet, much to caught up in the mind and the physical world, but very aware that we arent of this earth, just in the background as a physical being.

enough said,

i understand how you feel. you are not alone Rayver..you will see that you arent alone.

xoxo

 

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make poems or lyrics publish them online, everything you just said it made me read in like a poem I don't know why but it was good and the other thing, life is meaningless it has no purpose we live to die, this none feeling is just emptiness like somethings destroyed your soul, you should go bungie jumping or do something that sets adrenaline off even if it seems lame do it anyway you never know it might work

5

Sounds like what I feel too except I don't have any friends never had any. Life does su*k for me. I wish I could get it over with too. I don't have any purpose and I feel empty. De*d inside. No one understands this. At least you are doing something. I'm always at home. Always been these past 7 years. I don't open my curtain it's always closed I don't go outside either anymore. I just lay in bed, the only reason I'm thin is because I have a high metabolism. I never seem to be able to gain weight. I'm living a sedentary life. I lay in my bed all day. I use my phone to browse the Internet when I'm awake googling things. Even then I feel like sh*t. I don't do anything I feel worthless and pathetic. I'm just wasting air. I wish I could live in a virtual world. Fantasy. Where I could do whatever I want to do. In one of those Xbox games or in my mind. I'm 25 and a female. I don't have a xbox but once my brother lend me his for a few days. I don't really like it. I'm older now everything bores me. I'm not interested in anything. Anyways it doesn't really matter what I say cause at the end of the day I'm just a stranger from the internet. I struggle alot and no one can comprehend unless they knew me personally and were in my head. Sometimes I breakdown and want to scream. I only socialize with my mother. I live with her I still live at home. It's just me and her. I don't talk with my sister or brother when they come. Just a word or two. Anyways just had to get this out too. Everytime my birthday comes I wish for the same thing. I just want to be in peace. Keep going.. If you can't find the motivation try to motivate yourself. Try to do things. I've read this phrase before sounds about right. You do have a purpose. You will find out what it is. I don't know what more to say I mean write.. Fight for your life. Give it your best! Try to do many things maybe then will you find your passion and be happy.👍💖🙏🙌I'm not much of a good writer or talker but I hope this somewhat helped. I agree with Diane you do have a way with words. You explained things perfectly. I feel like this too. Thanks.

Ashley

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I'm here for you if you want to share

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rayver you are not alone is it anxiety you have

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Rayver it's Diane I am here for you. Just wanted you to know that. 

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I have felt exactly like this a lot in my life. Sometimes it goes away, but this go round has been bad and lasted about a year. I try to figure out why, this is what I come up with:

I am really smart, but not particularly good at anything. 

I kept thinking something would grab me, like I would fall in love with something, but it never happened.

I find things, like painting, hiking, cooking, blah blah, you know, little hobbies that give people joy on retirement commercial tedious, burdensome and kind of self absorbed.

Everything that interests me is stressful and not pretty. Like I am a constitutional conservative drawn towards politics, I hate leftest crap hey...with a passion! But it's not fun. I don't really see myself reflected in my own society, which is lonely. I don't feel the world shares my values, or even has any values at all. Maybe thats from the destruction of western culture. Maybe it's just the world we live in. I have a good sense of humor, but I am so cynical. It's not that I can't feel, it's just that I don't like my options of what to feel. Burn out. Also, my young kids are experts at things already, so I know what it looks like to ascend, I just don't ascend, anywhere ever. I like cats. I have a cat with no teeth that is like my heart outside my body. What is up? Why can a reasonably person be so confused?

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 I feel the same way. I just lay on the couch all day, . I wonder if this is depression but if it is there is no number for it. I don't want nothing ,need nothing. I try to get out of work as much as I can. 

   I'm trying to remember what i like and wanted to do when I was a child, right now I just make a goal for the day then I accomplished something.  I don't believe people can feel the same way but I do know what its like to not have a purpose in life.

   Your reaching out, venting is good. 

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I feel a little better knowing that other people go through the same feelings. Also taking the opportunity to rant, I just don’t know.. I literally don’t know. I do feel things, I get angry at my siblings, I empathize with characters on television, I get sad when my parents are sad but at the same time, I think those are just simple feelings, like stuff you can’t avoid, you know? At the same time, there is this emptiness. I feel empty. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt genuinely felt extremely happy, or sad or angry or anything. As they said, I feel like I’m floating. I don’t feel depressed, I thought about it recently but I don’t think it’s depression.

I have always felt left out so I think I’ve been copying people. With everything. I saw everyone being doctors, so I wanted to be a doctor, I think I also felt bad about not having a hobby so I told myself that I love cooking as my hobby. I feel like everything in my personal life has been on a constant pause. Everything feels stagnant. I’m not progressing nor am I regressing. It feels like I’ve been at one place for most of my life.

Insecurities are a big thing, and I find it ridiculous sometimes, because I know I should be happy with myself but I can’t. Most day’s if not all, I really dislike me.

Friend wise, all of childhood friends apparently never liked me in the first place. I tried forming a close friendship recently and that… we were not the right people for each other at that time. My “friends” that I see everyday, are just my friends because I see them everyday. Everyone in the group is close except me. I’m never the friend that they miss, and the group dynamic isn’t the same when one of the others isn’t there. I noticed this when I realised I could disappear and they would still go on without me.

And my family, we struggle so other than a feeling of endless emptiness, I also feel endlessly tired. Yeah, definitely endlessly tired. Oh and the ironic thing is, I cry a lot, just reading the comments and realising that people go through the same thing nearly had me in tears, also writing my feelings out also has me nearly crying. it’s like I’m crying because I feel.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

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hi rayver, what i hear from you is your loneliness, correct me if i’'m wrong? i think sometimes strangers are easier to cope with than friends. talk to us on here, we will listen, we are not close friends and we are not family. sometimes those people can make you feel worse! just see us as sounding boards. sometimes it’s nice to drift through life, we are all so guilty of rushing in general, may be you have the right attitude? do what you feel, isn’t it your life? don’t feel guilty about anything. you are who you are and if anyone else doesn’t like it then tough. live your life how you want.