I feel as though no matter what I do I can't win and people tell me don't think about it. Breath. Enjoy yourself. I try. But I find no pleasure in it I'm so tense and anxious it all seems pointless. I need to have no expectations. But is not having any expectorons or not being bothered about it fall into the category of depression. I mean the only reason I don't want to is because I'm so anxious and tense and tired no energy.
It's not just you, I'm like this too !! I'll try to keep myself occupied because if not I'll start to get real anxious. I'm not a doctor or anything but something that really helped me was I took a day all to myself and barel went on my phone but I did make a playlist to listen to and listened to it all day. I went out to these trails in the woods near my house and I set up a blanket and just chilled there for a while with snacks and water and then I continued to walk the trails and then I went and relaxed on the grass because they have a really pretty greenery scene. I really recommend this because for me I feel like I'm always on the go and I'm never by myself because I'll get bored and anxious so it was really nice just to have a day with myself. You honestly do learn a lot about yourself since it's only you and your thoughts all day. Hope this helped
Hi there. I understand. I actually did that a week ago when I went to see my parents as couldn't be on my own in London anymore. So went to the beach and sun bathed. For me that was amazing. Never thought I could relax and do that. Just tried that in London but am crippled with anxiety and find it hard to sit still. It could be because I'm putting something much pressure on myself to be better for work on Monday as have been off sick for 4 weeks
It's so tough today yet again. Music is a good thing. I think it sometimes depends on how bad you are
I know exactly how you are feeling, I am so unmotivated to do anything and could easily on bed all day. Sometimes I'll be able to go out with friends whether that be into town for shopping or out for dinner and I'll be fine but other times I'll go out and all I can think about is going home because I feel so spaced out. It's very frustrating and I always think 'why can't I just go and enjoy myself?'.
I feel safer when I'm at home with my partner or if I visit my parents/family. I'm definitely more relaxed with them.
I started reading a great book to try and keep me occupied, also went for a nice walk down the beach and listening to the sea. At night I listen to a rain sounds app which seems to help me.
I really hope you start feeling better soon, there are some really positive stories on this forum so I feel there is hope for us all!
Sending love x
Hi jade
Thanks for your support
I always get so worried of reading negative stuff on here especially about anti depressants. I'm supposed to go on citalopram but worry about side effects as right now the anxiety is sky high without them. How can i cope with having it worsen??
I felt the same when starting Citalopram but was told I just needed to power through. I did feel heightened anxiety but it was mainly the nausea that got me. The first week wasn't great, then the side effects slowly eased. I'm now on week 5 of taking it and the anxiety certainly isn't as extreme. I've been told they can take a while to full get in your system but kept telling myself it is a step in a more positive direction.
Let someone know you're taking them, it's much better to talk through your side effects than go through them alone. Also I used the meditations and breathing exercises on YouTube when I felt bad and they did help me. It is difficult but it is a positive step ☺️
Dear jade. I really wish I had the strength. I feel so weak and angry with myself for not doing the right thing, hate myself for it. I was spiked years ago and that was the beginning of it all. Now I find it so hard to take pills because of it. I wake at 4 and my thoughts race about how will I cope today and can't control it. I start hitting myself out of despair. I can't believe I'm saying this....
the xanax isn't very helpful anymore. And the thing is I'm all alone in the week So find it even harder
This forum is fantastic for talking to people who understand, when I first joined I spent ages just reading loads of the discussions and realised I am actually not alone even though it certainly feels like it at times.
Have you tried therapy/counselling? I have my first counselling assessment tomorrow, I am unsure as to how it'll go but I am again hoping that it is a step in a positive direction.
You are certainly not weak, it takes alot to even post on a forum and discuss this with people. Thats not weak at all, and I completely understand your reasons for feeling cautious about taking pills. Thats ok, it isn't anything to be ashamed of at all it just means that maybe that option isn't for you. It isn't for everyone. I would have a think about therapy, it could be another option and it has been successful for so many people on here
Keep me updated
It sounds to me like you are having a depression on top of anxiety. They often go hand in hand. If you are not able to enjoy things you normally would, this is basically cornerstone of depression. Also, people who do not suffer from anxiety aren't able to understand that telling you to "not think about it/don't worry about it/you're fine" either gives you no comfort or makes the anxiety even worse. They want to tell you these things because when they worry about something, they just snap out of it and are able to move on. They want the same for you. In reality, you need to define what will help you feel better when you are anxious. For me, I have always responded to logic. When I was in my teens my mom would break down all the reasons why the things I was panicking about weren't actually going to happen or not likely to happen. When I was able to look at my situation from this perspective, it helped me to calm down and ease back my panic. This still is the tactic I use today. It doesn't always work, but I know how to ask for help now. I tell my husband no to tell me to stop worrying or not to think about it. He mostly listens, but still just doesn't understand how I feel.
I would think you should go talk to a therapist to help you find joy in life again and make you want to be involved in life again.
Thanks cfiddy
it has turned to depression. I never had that feeling of not wanting before, not sure if it's lack of sleep. Wake every hour body all tense and hard. Horrible. Xanax doensnt do much at 0.12
sleepimg pills either at 1.75 zopiclone
all small doses I onoe
work helped a bit this week when surrounded at first I'm anxious then it goes away after a good few hours, yesterday was off, tried to keep busy but couldn't relax one bit, fell asleep at 4 for a few minutes and woke panicky feeling awe full so went for a bike ride, didn't really help
then all evening was tense and worried that today was worse than the days before. So I feel cheated that things aren't progressively improving
Hi jade,
missed your comment earlier
thank you for your kind support
work was very difficult, pretending smiles and and body tension waiting for clock to ring 530. How long can I go on like this, it used to clear in the early afternoon, was lucky
i am seeing a shrink and have seen for many years. Some have been better than others for me. But now I feel like I have run out of options and the anti depressants are knocking at my door. The anxiety is here from the start of my day which is 4am cause I don't sleep well
trying to keep busy doesn't really do it for me anymore maybe even adds more frustration, as have no pleasure in doing it, that used to be my one tool for recovery, which I seem to have lost, maybe my body is telling me not to fight it, but the brain gets anxious as it wants to keep going, strange combat, I thought the human body was amazing and self healing.
i hope you are doing well on your treatment. And that you are loooking forward instead of back. Take care Jade. And thanks again for your support.