So after feeling like crap emotionally and phyiscally for a while now and also very isolated/alone with all these feeling ...ive ranted on here a few times and im very grateful for all the support forum has given me.
the last week or so felt very low and have been visiting my parents grave daily,my dad was my best friend i could always talk to him and really needed to be close to him,yesterday was very bad day.....and after crying for ages at the graveside i finally asked my dad for help
i know silly but i just felt so desperate.......
today i went to have bloods done and the blood lady wendy who ive know for ages instantly knew something was very wrong with me so once again floods of tears and after a few hugs later she gave me her mobile number so we could meet up for coffee......my angel, so perhaps my dad did hear me
its coming up for 4 months 18 feb was op and other hip was 4 april 2014. i lost quite a few friends in the past year or so cause most people expect you to be OK once you have had the operation they dont really see how the rehab side of it take many weeks/months to recovery including the rollercoaster of emotions thats also included. i still find something quite difficult to do esp when tired or out of sorts
Never be sorry for what you are going through and I wouldn't call it rambling on.. I have had a really tough time myself so totally understand.and I only had my first hip done 8 weeks ago I am glad you have found someone you can talk too. I have also lost friends because I have not been able to go out for over 2 years. It is at times like this you find your true friends. Those that will stick with you. I have onbe friend who is like that and I have only known them for 12 years. Deffo a REAL friend. Either he or his wife phone me every day to make sure I am ok and keep me going as I have done for them when he had a stroke 5 years ago. I have been invited on holiday to there house in Ireland next summer and I can't wait. True friends will stick with you. If they don't they are not true friends and you should find new ones when you are ready. I hope you are ok.
I have no family support at all and my daughter , who is now 11 years old and SEN, was my rock during recovery. My first hip replacement, (metal) was done in October 2010 and my left was in August last year (not metal). It was very difficult for my daughter to accept and now I have found out from the doctor that the metals in my blood are rising from the metal hip. He really wants me to have it changed but I am putting it off as long as possible in order to allow my daughter to adjust. Even now I amk still in recovery, can't cut my toenails, can't put a sock on, can't sleep all night on my side and every day at work I am not sure which leg to limp on by lunchtime.
I hope your time on this forum helps you to realise that you are not alone and that we are here for your rants as well as your good points.
Hope to hear from you soon and take care. By the way, crying is good for you, it releases hormones that help you to feekl better!!
Dear Denise, Feel free to ramble as much as you want, we all need to vent our frustrations from time to time and I can certainly identify with you on the "most people expect you to be OK once you have had the op".
I had mine 15/2/15 so a few days before you, it was not because of a known pre-existing condition but an accident and I had been very active and fit prior to the accident. I am also"in the trade" so to speak (ITU) and have been horrified at the attitude of some people I know. There have been many times that I just wanted them to go home and leave me in peace rather than lecturing me and saying I should be exercising the horses, walking the dogs, getting out more, going to the gym, use weights!!!!! Sick and fed-up of it all, they should find out the facts before becoming an expert.
You have every right to feel down now and again, none of us knew the emotional ramifications of having the op, its not something they warn you about. Its also ok to go at your own pace, our bodies all recover at different rates.
Sending you ((((HUGS)))) and hope you can feel the sunshine soon.
dearest denise ... absolutely okay to ramble on - reading your post actually reflect what I am going through - and because of your writing I can be honest with myself and admit how lonely I feel sometimes and sad --and misundersttod too - boohoo, right - Maybe my friends are getting tired of me still limping around and not going out with them - or maybe they just feel helpless? and I am sure that they all mean well and do not realize how their good advice is affecting me - they don;t really think about how challenging it is to be alone and try to stay motivated to go on those walks, do the exercises ... I was given notice to move out of this little house by August 1, 2015 - no clue where to go - and my other, left, hip needs surgery too and is sort of delaying my recovery from R THR (March 16, 2015) - so, thank you for allowing me to rant and rave ... big and warm hug - it will be okay .... be gentle with your self and I will too
Hi Denise, I know exactly how you feel, I've lost both my parents n live alone, after my op I felt so alone n depressed. My friend's dont understand. I get good days n bad days but when ur on ur own n u lose ur independence its hard. If you would like to chat privately am always here. We can swap email s or mob numbers if you want to. I sincerely hope you are ok. Paul. Xx
Hi Denise! I really feel for you! It's good to have a cry at times! I am my Hubby's carer. He too has is of spine,hips and knee's, is deaf and severely sighted! I too have oa of my hips and knee's but am 12weeks just over a hip hop! I know I need to exercise a lot more! But I am so tense in neck and shoulders and feel crap at times!tomorrow I am taking myself for gentle swimming to test water in a local swimming club! I am also having regular reflexology! Where in UK are you from?regards Amanda
i had a very a special friends who was wonderful,he was 93 but looked 60 and had so much get up and go. I knew les for 17 years and whilst caring for my mum and bringing my daughter up,les was always there to lend a shoulder and make that cuppa when needed. He was fit man had a stroke 4 years ago and bounced back within five day. About 18months ago his middle son moved in with les,things began to change and not for the best.
in dec les was admitted into hospital tbh the change in him was rapid he lost his get and go...cut himself off from church friend even to me. Whenever i rang he was in bed!
4 weeks of willing les to pull thru and holding his hand. The hospital put les on the Liverpool pathway however les kept going and defied doctors so fluids were once again introduced but it wasn't meant to be
les died on the 10th January apart of me died with him. ...true friends areba nlessing
Hi dee! I am from Surrey near Guildford. Yes its not easy being a carer! Also so many people are saying goodness still on a stick! Well that's my choice as my right knee clicks each time I walk! Tomorrow off to swim but only very gently regards Amanda
Happy for you finding a friend to have coffee. Hopefully that will lift up your spirits.
I was alone too after surgery. I have felt very low too at various times.
One was when I got stuck in a recliner at 13 days post op. I cried the to God to help me. My new recliner didnt have a handle to lower the feet. Instead I had to push it down with my feet. I couldn't it was then too painful.
Since this was a love seat,I scooted over to the other side. To be able to get up from the love seat recliner. There were many things like that. But praise God he got me through it. . Hope you feel better soon.xxx
first of all you are entitiled to ramble if you want, we all know it takes time to fully recover, also if you are alone it's worse, ( I know cos I am too ) do you have any family near to you that could help? you seem to have found a friend who cares with Wendy, I too still talk to my mum, so please don't beat yourself up about this, my mum was my best friend and since all this has happened to me I would give my right arm to have one more day with her.
Hi Dee. It is good too rant. Yesterday I had the post op blues. I was a model patient in hospital, up and running in no time. Plenty of visitors. Had good patients for company, didnt want for food or drink. Then I came home. A place that is better for u but ... husband had to go to work. First day home and no help. Began to realise how little I could do. It was a bit of an eye opener. No one to talk too. No one to bring a drink. Didnt dare av a shower. Hubby came home at 2pm and things were much better. He has to go back this morning but I av a flask and water by my side. Son has suggested a rucksack to carry things in. The sun is shinning. I am not in pain. The world is good. Hubby has nxt 2 days off so hopefully together we will work out ways to manage. Those who go home to no one, my heart goes out to you. We all need some TLC and help and company cannt be beaten. Take each day as it comes and call out when u need to. Someone will hear u and help. Xx
That is so sweet of you to say ... it touches my heart - I am sure that many of us who are alone don't really want to talk about it - but it is lonely and scary at times ... warm hug
Hi denise sorry for the late reply,. Having major problems of my own.
Yes you are right. There are not that man y good people out there any more and true friends are getting harder to find. I have my family. But my other 1/2 doesn't take much interest in what is going on with me. If I go into hospital I get no visitors and feel even worse. I have lived in my village now for 12 years and used to have friends but no one knocks on the door any more to see how I am. You are right it is very isolating.
I am sorry you lost your friend the way you did. Sounds like the son had a lot to do with it.
Hi Hailea, your so right it is so isolating, my friends only want to know me if they want to go out which is not my thing anymore. However am concentrating on my rehab, then life begins again for me. Xx