Chris,
I totally get being sensitive to medication. This s something that I've had to work around also. Most of my attempts with hormone therapy were a horrible failure. Back when you and I were young, the birth control pills were very high dose. I did them for 6 months when I was first married and wound up in an ER with severe abdonimal pain. When I tried hormone replacement for perimenpausal symtoms in my forties, it was a complete mess. I also was put on several antidepressants. Zoloft was the one what worked for awhile. So in some ways, it's really a gamble that I am trying it all again. But I personally believe, that it is better for our bodies to have these imortant substances. I've seen what happened to my body over time, when I left well enough alone. My chronic pain issue was horrible, and vaginal atrophy is definately NO FUN. My cholesterol profile changed without any diet changes. My sleep went to hell, my attitude and cheerful self went to the dump. So if taking some estrogen and progesterone can help with all that, I say let's try.
What I can tell you, is that I am working with a specialized endocrinologist who truly believes that restoring our sex steriods helps all of our hormone systems.
What I would tell you is to strart low and go very slow. That's what I have been doing and it seems to work better. My FSH started at 60, and with a very low dose of esradiol from a patch, it dropped to 54.1. Then she slowly upped the estrgoen patch and again my body responded with an FSH drop down to 36.1. When I talk about low dose, I mean it.
She started me with 1/2 of the lowest dose patch of Vivellle 0.025mg.
Believe it or not, I am now doing a 0.05mg patch every other day. It has taken months, but my estradiol level is rising and my FSH is falling.
I am sleeping better and people have mentioned that I am losing weight.
I don't feel all back to normal, but realize that I am in the early stages of getting balanced.
So again, I hear your concern about what it might do to you. But you also have seen what meno does to woman. We grow a huge fat pad on our bellies, often have difficulty with sex, suffer with night sweat and no sleep.
The thing that I would suggest is to stay away from doctors who use a cookie cutter approach to hormones, but more importantly the hormone drugs, like Premarin or Prempro.
Good luck, and I hope you do a bunch of research and find something that works for your body.