Over to you Kristal :D
Oh well if you insist :lol: :lol:
Church Bulletin Bloopers
:angel: Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
:angel: Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
:angel: Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
:angel: Miss Charlene Mason sang \"I will not pass this way again,\" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
:angel: Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
:angel: A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
:angel: Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
:angel: The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Thank you Kristal :lol: They're wonderful :lol:
Kristal they just keep getting better. I have even told them to my husband.
Knew you wouldn't let us down Kristal :lol:
Imagine being called Bertha Belch :shock:
haha! :lol: i like the church one :D
are they real quotes then?
Yes Trees, they are supposed to be real but they are American :lol: :lol:
Personally I love the last one, the idea of gracious hostility sounds like afternoon tea with daggers :twisted: :lol: :twisted:
:love: Valentine Day Jokes :love:
I warn you, these are real groaners :wow:
:rose: Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
:rose: Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A: You turn me on.
:rose: Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?
:rose: Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? A: Antelope.
:rose: Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
I wonder which crackers they came out of :lol:
I remember a few Christmas's ago I had bought some quite smart crackers from M & S ....... and they all had the same joke inside :shock: ....... it gave us such a good laugh though as each individual read theirs out :lol: Got funnier and funnier with each person ....... goodness knows why though ...... we must have been very merry :lol:
Took them back and got a double refund :lol: