Long story short.. I don't know how to categorise what the root problem is... and therefore what advice to give my partner in addressing issues.
I can give you descriprives of what I see.
She smokes 'legal' marijuana from breakfast through to night. Never enough to appear high or spaced, but a gentle top up all day all the same.
Hardly ever leaves the house.
Drove the car less and less, until she really doesn't drive any more at all.
Sleeps really badly, waking at all hours and having an afternoon nap to make up.
She has admitted she has a problem with the smoking, but refuses to go to her g.p. because it'll be in her records !
Its been a year since our first real discussion and nothing has been done.
She now wants to go to some private treatment to do with magnetic frequencies in the brain !!
If I try to redirect attention to traditional or nhs options , she sees me as oppressive and gets strongly objectional.
At the end of the day, I believe her issues are complex and need better attention than a quick fix charlatan can provide ....
..... But how to help her see that ?
I'm at a loss.
Hi Andy
I am no professional but think you are right that her issues seem more complex and sounds like she needs help.
I have been in a similar position my husband refuses help for his Depression and has seen any attempts to help as at attack on him, sadly he has left us and is no longer in contactttt.
Until your partner is ready there really is nothing you or anyone else can do, all you can do is be there when she asks for your help. It is very much like getting a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
Andy, you're trying all the right things and in my humble opinion are on the right track with your partner re best medical advice, unfortunately getting her to see the light is going to be an uphill struggle. Smoking marijuana may help certain medical issues but it's a total demotivator and creates lethargy and in some people, paranoia. The build up of THC from cannabis is documented to cause all sorts of cognitive problems, sometimes overshadowing it's reported benefits. It's very habit forming and very very difficult to quit, almost as bad as nicotine. Youre very understanding to seek to address her wider issues too. If she sees a private counsellor, all information will be totally confidential, so maybe she might be open to that idea first before seeking unproven alternative therapies? I wish you luck and she's very lucky to have someone who wants to give her logical help for her problems.
As harsh as it may seem, sometimes tough love must come into it. You have been sympathetic up until now and tried to help her. She needs professional help and should seek it, forget about it being on her medical records which are confidential. Give her an ultimatum and say unless she seeks help and does something about it, she won't find you as sympathetic. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
Very true Angela, those with such issues can be very averse to help no matter how hard you try. Sometimes they do need a metaphorical 'slap' to get them to help themselves. She's an adult and needs to take responsibility for her own well being but it's so hard for those close by who feel so powerless and want to help. Andy, being a little tougher and making her very aware of her narrow options might just give her the kick she needs.