Girlfriend just diagnosed with genital HSV1. Did I transmit?

Sexual health
1

My gf recently had an genital outbreak and tested positive for gHSV1. I inspected the inside of my mouth yesterday and saw a sore. I assumed I gave her gHSV1. I took responsibility and have felt absolutely awful. I went to see my Dr. today and she thought my mouth sore looked more like a canker sore and told me that primary gHSV1 infections can be mild and not to assume I transmitted. She took a swab of the sore for testing and I will get blood drawn on Monday.

It would give me great relief if I didn't transmit HSV1 and if I am lucky to be uninfected. Yet, what I've read on the internet suggests I am the likely the culprit. Based on the below info, what do think is the likelihood it was me?

My gf is 40 and I am 47. We started dating 2.5 months ago and have been monogamous. Before we met, she had been in open type relationships. She often says "I once dated a guy who. . . ". So, I think she has had quite a few partners. I'd estimate perhaps 8 in the last year or so. I've never noticed cold sores on my lips or face. A few times in my life I remember biting my inner lip and noticing a sensitive area, yet never gave any thought to it. I've given oral sex about 100-200 times in my life without incidence of genital hsv1 transmission.

I assumed I gave her gHSV1 after reading that about 70% of the population my age have oral hsv1 and most don't even know it. And even asymptomatic people can transmit the virus. As well, she had a serious outbreak, which I assumed was the primary infection. I've read the primary genital HSV1 infection is severe and recurring outbreaks are rare and mild.  Yet my doc told me that primary infections can be mild and secondary outbreaks can be severe.

Here is the timeline of sexual activity and symptoms:

Jan. 9th. Oral sex. After about 20min. she told me my stubble was badly irritating her vagina. Could severe skin irritation trigger an HSV1 outbreak?

Jan. 14th. Vigorous oral sex and intercourse. Afterward she told me she was "sore". A few days latter she said it wasn't a normal sore from vigorous sex and something felt wrong. 

Jan. 18th. She tells me her vagina has been burning and she has painful urination. 

Jan. 20th. She texts that she got stuff for a yeast infection.

Jan. 23rd. She gets tested and tells me she has blisters. Tests come out HSV1+

I felt so bad and wanted to support her and stopped asking about the symptoms. From what I know, the symptoms were sever for at least six days.

The timeline seems consistent with me transmitting the virus. And I've read primary HSV1 infections are severe and recurrences are rare and mild. Yet, my doc tells me that isn't always the case. I will be getting my blood tested for HIV1 and 2 on Monday.

If we both believe I transmitted it to her, it shifts some dynamics. Her anger toward me could intensify and my guilt for transmitting could intensify. She seems to want to chat about other topics. I don't want to add stress to her and us by bringing up a discussion about whether it was me or another guy (especially if it's like 95% chance me). Yet, it would help me process my own guilt if there was a decent chance it wasn't me. As well, I would want to take precautions if my tests turn out negative.

What do you think are the chances she had a mild primary HSV1 infection prior to meeting me and a strong secondary outbreak with me?

 

2

I'm reading a lot of technical uses of "primary" and "secondary". 

Overall, I'm asking whats the chance that a woman has her first obvious hsv1 outbreak (burning, painful urination, blisters) months after infection? (Symptoms at time of infection were mild).

3

Hello @serotonin1.

My situation may shine some light onto your question. It's very similar to yours.

I was diagnosed with G-HSV1 last week, 1st outbreak and the swab test performed (PCR) showed positive for HSV1. I also had my blood drawn for an igG test to see if I had the antigens developed in my blood for HSV1 as well. For my igG test I was negative.

A positive PCR (swab of the blister)  and a negative igG means that I have recently acquired the virus. My doctor estimated that within a months time I came into contact with the virus.

My boyfriend has never shown any symptoms before (orally or genitally) but when we got him tested after my outbreak, he showed positive for HSV1 (igG -meaning he had a high amount of antigens in his blood).

So our conclusion is that I picked up G-HSV1 from him performing oral on me while his virus must have been "shedding".

Ultimately I'm not upset with him. He had no idea as he has always been asymptomatic and we neglected to include HSV in our STD panel when getting tested prior to becoming intimate. We didn't know that HSV wasn't included on general STD screening blood tests.

It's no ones fault but it is unfortunate when it happens. On the bright side, we don't have to worry as much about being careful not to spread it to each other intimately as we both have the virus now (along with 80% of the population). 

Hope this was helpful,

Goodluck

Ros

4

Thanks.  I don’t think my gf got blood drawn and I feel a bit uncomfortable asking her at this point and it may be too late

5

Well when i was around 17 years old i infected my boyfriend with HVS1 down there - I had is as a cold sore. And unfortunately i did not know that i could transmit it that way netiher did he.. so yeah. 

He hated me for a long time and we broke up, but i just meet him last summer and he was a whole different person! So happy. 

Anyway - my sore at that time when we did stuff were almost cleaned up. is was a sore - but there were crust on it. 

It is possible - everything eith herpes is possible.

The only thing you can do is to wait for the results. 

6

I understand her feelings. This can be a difficult diagnosis for most people to receive (whether it's something they acquired years ago or just recently). Also, you will get your results in time and that will obviously determine if you are a "potential" in terms of someone transmitting it to her. Maybe you will test negative. 

And though it may be common for primary outbreaks to be the "most severe" it is definitely not always the case. I have found that many people had their primary outbreak which resembled something more along the lines of an itchy yeast infection and then later had their more severe outbreaks to include typical blister like symptoms.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Just wait for your results but even a "positive" doesn't guarantee you transmitted the virus to her. And though she is emotional now, she should understand that it is also her responsibility to protect herself from contracting STI's, you are both victims here as you both had no idea of the virus.

Ros

7

From the timeline you be shared and the information that she’s been in open relationship.. I’m more open to believe that she caught something before you came in to the picture. From when you first started performing oral sex to when she got tested using blood test i think it would be too soon to test positive for a new infection. But that’s just my opinion.