Hi Everyone. I'm new to this forum and thank goodness I found it. The last four weeks have been very challenging and reading the posts on this site has given me hope and security. I have just turned 50 and have been on the roller coaster for about 12 years. My main symptoms are depression and horrific anxiety that comes and goes as it pleases. I have tried so many things to correct things but nothing has really helped. Just when I think I have found the answer it hits me again. Thank goodness I haven't taken all the meds doctors have thrown at me because I could start up my own chemist. lol I am doing it really hard again at the moment after 6 pretty good months. My periods have started to space out to about every three months so I just pray my days of ups and downs are close to being over. Being hit with this at anytime of the year is horrific but so much worse over Christmas and New Year. I'm so lucky to have a very supportive husband who has been my rock. It hasnt all been doom and gloom but when it hits you again and again you lose all your confidence and just go into yourself. I have found it hard over the past 10 years to make really strong friendships as I can't trust what this body is going to do. (i know you can all relate to that) I rather keep to myself when I'm like this as I don't have to explain myself. After 10-12 long years I have given up on trying new things and have decided to just tough it out to the end. Please give me the extra strength I need to get through this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Love, health and happiness to everyone and I pray that all your troubled days are over soon. My sister went through the same thing and when her periods finished she didn't have any more dips. She is my inspiration!!!! There is hope for us all!!! xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Raelene, so sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I can really appreciate what you are going through. I can relate to the keeping yourself to yourself, indeed it is easier to do that than face people and keep explaining. When you feel so awful it is so tempting to just stay at home. However I have learned that although there are times when you really feel so bad you want to stay close to home it is a good idea to keep doing little things and going out and about, even if it's just for short periods. Also I found if you go with someone you trust it makes it so much easier. It really helps your mood and your confidence which does take a bit of a battering. It's comforting to hear that your sister came out the other side and you should hang on to that. Each day is a step closer to you feeling that way. Have a look on this site and see the tips re diet , exercise and supplements that people have tried and think about trying some of those. Having that to focus on helps you to divert your attention from your troubles. I sincerely hope you find some relief and keep coming on here. It helps so much knowing you are not alone. Hugs to you. Xx
Hi raelene, i am new here also but can relate to everything you have said.You are very lucky to have such a supportive husband, and a sister who although she has suffered like yourself has now gone through the dark tunnel and out the otherside, its nice to have the hope that you too will emerge as she has. As for the chemist thing lol im exactly same, at one time when i came outta hospital they had me on 13 differnet meds a day, im sure these male docs just think "throw her a few pills n she will go away lol". from what ive read the longer your periods start to gap the closer towards the finish line we are heading, lets hope thats true for you. to put up with this horrid phase for aslong as you have i think you deserve a medal, and it all goes to show you do have the strength to ride this storm out. big hugs to you, and to all the ladies suffering the same fate. who would have ever thought this could have been so challenging, i just thought it was a few flushes n bam no more periods lol.
Sorry to hear this has been going on so long. You sound like a strong person with a great partner so I am confident you will get through. It will be great to get to the end of the tunnel like your sister. PMS and the other symptoms have been with me for my whole adult life and, like you, I am really looking forward to the end of the rollercoaster of hormones, then I can find out who I really am!
I take menopace for the symptoms, you get it from the vitamins dept in supermarket or chemist. No need to go to the GP! I also found a book called 'Grumpy Old Menopause' which, as well as being hilarious, explains the symptoms and gives lots of helpful practical advice. Getting out is difficult sometimes, but just a 10 minute brisk walk can help clearing stress hormones from your bloodstream, so that is something I do when stressed or anxious. On a really windy day like today it can be exhilarating!
Your post makes a lot of sense, Christmas is the worst time for me as well, thank goodness that is all over, and the days are now getting longer. (Am I a grumpy old woman?)
Hang on in there ! Thank-you for yor post, hearing about your sister helped me!
Thanks for your support Mooma. I have tried many supplements and still take a variety. I do tend to get out but I pick and choose where I go and where I will feel comfortable. I tend to keep away from things that are to social but I'm okay with a cuppa/wine and walks along the beach with my husband. I'm okay to go into supermarkets and shops as long as I don't run into people I know and have to talk to them. I hate people seeing me look unwell. The strange thing is it can go as quick as it comes and I'm free as a butterfly to go anywhere with anyone. I feel so blessed when I'm well and get to go to something without any feelings of dread. I have missed so many celebrations in the past month that have upset me immensely. My husband is wonderful and says it's okay things will get better for us. Doctors have told me it's just a reoccurring anxiety/depression and haven't mentioned anything about hormones. They believe it's to do with my parrents passing away 2 years before the roller coaster ride started.( I was 37 at the time) I know it's my hormones fluctuating. I have to be happy for the good times and I have to believe this will lift again. I just hate not knowing when it's going to hit or how long it's going to stay. I have three children girl 21, boys 19 & 16. I have tried my hardest to give them all the love I can and all the wonderful experiences of growing up. It's been very hard at times trying to hide it from them and make out everything is okay. (caught out a few times) It's amazing how we can push ourselves for our children. I just pray that once I'm through this I can be there for them and their children with an abundance of health and happiness. Hugs back to you. xxxx
Thanks gillmm and Sharon. I have kept diaries of this horrific journey and when I read back over them I have to sometimes ask myself "OMG how am I still here" There have been many of times where i've had dark thoughts but it's only been because of the disgusting physical symptoms that make you feel so sick. I'm so glad I have been stong enough to hang on. My main symptoms have been depression/anxiety and the night sweats. I have never had any troubles with the periods themselves. I suppose this just goes to show how different we all are during this transition. I've read of woman having such dreadful bleeding but that has never happened to me. I don't know of any other women going through what I'm going through unless their good at trying to hide it like me. It really is like "secret womens business at times." I'm so glad I found this site because it gives me so much comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. To understand all this you have had to experience it. I know some people mean well when they try to help and offer suggestions but they have no idea what the turmoil is like. How lucky are we to have all found each other. Take care girls. xxxx
agreed totally Raelene, i have also had dark thoughts, maybe because as you say we try keep a strong upper lip n put on this *i am normal* face to the outside world, when really inside we are screaming. i went from a bubbly social butterfly, to a virtual housebound shadow of my former self. planning a trip is a minefield, am i gonna be ill that day? what if the heart racing thing starts while im around people? sometimes its just easier to stay indoors. i do agree that we all vary so much in our symptoms, my mum sailed through the change, but my nan only when i started told us that she had been taken into mental health care back in the 50's cos they thought she had mental issues. thank goodness we have come on some from that era. we are very lucky to have found others here that are just like us. stay strong and well... sharon xx
Hi Raelene, I'm in the same boat you are with the anxieties hitting at anytime. With having panic attacks and anxieties to It makes it hard for me to really go out and do things because I never know when my anxieties are going to hit. I'm afrsid to go out with family because of my anxieties. I don't want to go out and with my brother and his kids because I'm afraid that I might have an anxiety or a panic attack in front of them and they are young and I don't want to frighten them It is disabling at times
Just do some relaxation and if you need to take time for yourself
Hi Raelene , it all sounds so familiar to me. I am also just turned 50 and have a daughter 20 and son 17. I lost my mother in law 12 yrs ago and at the same time my mum had breast cancer, my Dad was taken to hospital with a suspected heart attack and my grandfather passed away. It was an awful time and looking back im not sure how I coped but I did. Following that I began to lose patches of hair, suffer dizzy spells, the headaches increased and I got the dread and night sweats. I was so scared that something awful would happen to me or my family. That has eased a bit, but my issues began in earnest abot 3 yrs ago with vertigo, dizziness, head and facial pain, and these things have led to anxiety and not wanting to go out much. I have got better at going out but still won't on days when the pain is really bad. I have tried to hide it from the kids and family but they know me too well now, so now I just admit when I have a bad day. I live in hope that things will settle once I get through menopause. Not had a proper period since last June, just a little spotting. They do say that a traumatic time can bring on meno pause and I guess that's what happened. Either that or a very unfortunate coincidence. I know how you feel and hope you begin to get lots more really good days very soon. Xxx
Hi Raelene and welcome!
I joined this forum about six months ago and let me tell you it is tremendous the amount of support I have received here. When I stumbled upon this forum, I was beside myself with fear because of all these symptoms that I was having. I didn't know what was wrong with me and I began to fear the worst--that I was dying!
What a relief it was to learn that I was in the company of all of these wonderful women. No one prior to finding this forum, had told me that menopause came with all of these crazy symptoms. You always hear about heat flushes and weight gain but very little was said about a whole host of other symptoms that are so frightening and debilitating. So you have come to the right place. We're glad to have you with us. We're here to help.
Hugs,
Sharlene
Hi Raelene, have a huge hug for getting this far, still having your sanity and getting through Christmas is a huge triumph! x
Hi Sharon. I know what you mean about a holiday. It really saddens me that at this stage of our life that we can't be off holidaying like everyone else. I've had people say to me you might be fine once you get away and enjoy some sunshine. (if only they new) As we know nothing takes it away - it goes when its ready. My sister was in a psych hospital when it first started for her, that was 25 years ago. I remember making a trip to visit her with my mother and two other sisters and it was so upsetting. Little did we know at that stage it was her hormones. I would rather stay at home on my really bad days and have my little break downs in private. I know at first I used to run to the doctors all the time in a heap. (thank god they didnt admit me then) I think to myself there has to be a massive big reward for all of us when we get through. I have been tested again the last couple of days as my lower back has gone as well. I said to my husband this morning the man up above is really giving it to me at the moment. I will show him whose boss!!!!! At least I can use my back as an excuse now!!!! A beautiful holiday is waiting for you Sharon when all this is over. During my good times I have got a couple of holidays in. (just lucky really) When I look back through my diaries I think to myself OMG how did I get that one in. I'm a primary school teacher but taking up contracts is way to hard. The school I'm at I just do the relieving when I can and they are really good to me. I love teaching with a passion and I love it when I have well times and can enjoy it. I also tutor which is a lot easier than being in a classroom all day especially when I'm feeling unwell. This dip has probably come at a good time and I just pray by the time the holidays are over things will have lifted for me and no one will know any different.
Thanks for your friendship Sharon I really appreciate it. Take care and stay strong yourself. xxxx Words of wisdom from my sister - Accept, Float and it will Pass
Hi Sharon,
I to am scared of going out at times because I never know when I'm going to have an anxiety attack or a panic attack. I feel calm in the comfort of my own home because of these anxieties.
I also feel that we need a break and just distress ourselves from all the stress we have.
Hope you are feeling better
Take care.
Hi Susan. Yes the anxiety is absolutely horrific. I have had a few panic attacks on planes which have been so scary. I try to keep away from anywhere that could enclose me. I'd rather take stairs than go in a lift. That feeling of dread is just so awful. I have got valium 2mg to take on bad days but I try not to take them as they can become addictive.(they don't do much anyway) I had a really bad experience with benzos when a doctor put me on them years ago when this all started. He prescibed me xanax which is 10 times stronger than what i have now. I started on 0.5mg and they sure did take all the horrible anxiety away, it was such a relief. I became extremely well after 4 months and everyone thought my troubles were over. The doc decided to take me off the xanax. Little did we know that all the time I had been on xanax I was actually taking 2.5mg instead of 0.5. (5 times the amount) The chemist had accidentally grabbed the wrong bottle. The label actually covered the dosage and I had no idea. For some reason I happened to peal the label back one day and discovered the (excuse my language) BIG F.... UP!!!!! I had no idea how serious this was but I soon found out. It took me a year to be weaned off them and than another year of hell in detox on top of hormonal ups and downs. I sometimes wonder how I am still here!!!! Anyway I'm still here and I'm not going to let this nightmare stop me from dreaming of better days ahead. I/we have to (keep positive that they will come. I know what you mean about hiding from the kids. There have been times over the past years where I've had to put that smile on my face around my kids and make out everything is okay. (very hard) All I can say is thank god or someone for the better days we have.
Thanks for your encouraging words and support.
Take care yourself and stay strong. xxxxx
Hi Sharcerv. Thanks for your kind welcome.
I agree with you this forum is such a relief and comfort. It's nice to know that we're not alone on this struggling journey. Have you actually reached menopause or are you still in the pre stage? I have tried so many things over the years and I would hate to calculate how much money I have spent. (double thousands for sure) Just when I think something is working I'm hit with it again and back to the drawing board. I've got to the stage after 12 years to stop trying new things and just tough it out to the end. I would rather keep natural and not have any HRT. The amount of things I have been offered by doctors is scary especially if i would have taken them all. I would be a walking zombie in a psyc ward I reckon. It gets to a stage where its to hard to work it all out and you just have to let nature take its course. It really is a day by day journey and when you wake with a better feel in your body it's such freedom. I have beat myself up over the years asking myself what have I done to my body to cause it to be doing what its doing now. Still haven't found the answer!!!!! The only thing I can put it down to is that some woman have more sensitive bodies than others and the changes are to overwhelming for them. Looks like we are the sensitive ones and also the strong ones with beautiful hearts.
Take care and bless the good days.
Hugs back to you. xxxx
Hi Craizydaisy. Thanks for your support, it means so much. Yes having a dip at Christmas and school holidays is a hard one for sure. It has been very low key for me for sure. I have missed so many social gatherings which makes me so upset becuase if I was well I would be the first one there. I have ran out of excuses!!!! I have hurt my lower back in the past couple of days so at least I have something obvious now to use for an excuse. Huge hugs do help!! I often say to my hushand I just need a big cuddle.
Huge hugs back to you.
Thanks once again. xxxxx
Hi Raelene
I wish some one could detox me off Attivan there are times I feel like it does not help and then there are times it does. I'm so sensitive to medications I don't know what to take for anxieties Have you ever been in that same situation
Hi Susan. On my really bad days the low dose of valium I have doesnt even touch the sides. I'm strong enough not to take anymore because they can become addictive. As I said I've had a bad experience with a much stronger benzo due to a chemist stuffing up the prescription and I'm very cautious of them now. `When I'm hit with the anxiety dips I just try to ride them out by staying close to home and being kind to myself. I try to accept it, float with it and let it pass. I haven't found anything yet to ease the anxiety except for the really strong benzos which I won't touch again. It's a shame they cause such distress to the body because they really do work magic. The more you take, the more you need and it becomes a viscious cycle. Then to come off them is another horrific journey. Are you taking Ativan daily and how much?
I wish I could be more helpful with an answer to the anxiety as I know it's so cruel.
Lets be positive though and believe that it won't be around for ever!!
Take care.
xxxxxx
Hi Raelene
How can I become strong enough so I can get off my ativan. Scared to stop it due to anxieties and it can cause seizures if you stop it suddenly.
I need your advise on how I can ween myself off the ativan
Hi Susan.
It's a really slow process and can take some time. You really need to get guideance off a doctor who can keep an eye on you. Whatever you do don't just stop it suddenly. How much are you taking daily?
Sending you hugs and strength.
xxxxxx