I'm sick of things in my life. I'm living with a guy...we plan to get married. He has a 7 yr old with his ex. He now has full custody of the child. The state took the child from his ex for neglect and abuse. His ex "barb" acts like they r still together. She disrecpects me. She bullies both of us. She comes over and refuses to leave. Eats all our food. Then when she isn't there she txts and calls and he guy I'm with all the time!!! She has 4 hrs court ordered time with her kid. But she expects that time to everyday!!! She is ruining my life and relationship. He refuses to stand up to her. I can't go on living like this. Idk what to do.
That sounds so hard!!
The only thing you can do is tell your
Partner if it carries on then you will have to
Leave, this should prompt him into doing
Something about her.
If she keeps threatening you please go to
Your local police department and make a
Complaint, or get a restraining order.
Is there somewhere else she can meet her
Child for her allocated time? If she is a risk
Then someone will have to accompany her,
This can be a family member or a social
Worker. I hope your partner sees how much
This is upsetting you.
Take care,
Kate
She is a risk. She doesn't pay attention to her kid when she watches her. Too busy on her cell or watching tv. She has done this to other women in his life. Could be why his relationships never work out. I plan on getting something done with the cops. I'm pregnant and this stress isn't good for me or the baby. "Barb" knows I'm pregnant and high risk but she doesn't care. 3 data ago we sat down and went over ground rules. 24 hrs later she was already breaking them. Most recent fight was because I told her she couldn't spend the night Saturday. She wants to move in with us. I wish he would go back to court so we could be free of her for good.
Hi Melinda
It sounds like hell what this woman is putting you and your partner through. While I don't agree with how your partner seems to be dealing with this in that he's not standing up to her, I do see how it must be extremely hard for him too. He probably hates the idea of keeping his childs mother away. I can't even imagine what that must be like trying to explain that to his child. It sounds like he's been struggling with this issue for quite a while.
However your priority has to be you and the little one your carrying. He has to step up too. Make it clear if he won't take legal action you will. It's your home too and you are perfectly entitled to decide who is welcome and who isn't. You wouldn't be stopping her visitation as they can surely organise contact away from your home.
If she refuses to leave the house when told, call the police. If she gets abusive, call the police. Try and secretly record what's going on on your phone so if she has a butter wouldn't melt attitude when anyone else is around or leaves before the police arrive you have something to show what your going through. If your reporting this stuff you get grounds for a court order. When it comes to the constant phone calls, change the phone numbers and get your partner to buy a cheap pay n go. His ex gets that number only so if she starts acting up again he can just turn it off.
As I said your priority has to be you. If he won't stand up to her then you should consider either taking legal action against her yourself or getting out of that situation until he does get it sorted. You should not have to be exposed to the stress.
Take care of yourself and I hope everything works out well for you.
D
I'm getting out of the situation. As for phones calls the crazy woman calls from other phones. If he blocked every number she calls from the wouldn't be any numbers left. Also she gave up her kid. In front of her kid she told him that he can have her. That she didn't want her anymore. The kid suffers mentally from that. But still he puts "barb" first. Even before their kid.
I meant you guys change your phone numbers. Blocking numbers is a waste of time when dealing with someone determined who's obviously wired to the moon.
Honestly though, if your partner has put the feelings of his ex before his child then your doing the right thing getting out of it. To me that's rediculous and unacceptable of him. I guess I'm just wired different because my son is my priority way above everyone else...including his mother.
He won't change his number. Even if he did he would give her the new number in a week. He could take her to court again. With her harassing and stalking us. To have it so there is a 3rd legal party in between them. But he won't do it. He wants her there as a free sitter. Doesn't care what damage it does to us.
Hi well it sounds like he has made his choice - his ex wife. The stress of all this isn't good for you or your baby so I don't think you have any choice except to move out. Do you have any relations/friends you can stay with for the time being? You have to put yourself first as he clearly isn't doing that and he sounds like a dead loss to me.
You deserve much better than this and hopefully in the future will meet someone who is more worthy of you. x