So my anxiety problems startwd when I moved to Germany away from my family (they live in Mexico). Anyways, at first I had no problems at all and I was super happy. But then in the second semester I started to get dizzy spells out of nowhere and visual disturbances that lead to panic attacks. Since then i haven’t been the same. I have had constant anxiety and physical symptoms and this has been going on for 4 months already. Went to therapy and countless doctors and I thought i was doing good until A few days ago. The anxiety has been getting worse despite my efforts. I am now also depressed and I habe been given antidepressants (i took some for a few days) but the side effects were horrible and I was scared of going through this on my own. Now I finally decided that the best would be for me to go home. The do tors here don’t really explain anything and don’t talk good english. But now I am afraid that I’m giving up. I am going back home and originally I was going back in June but didn’t make it. In september I should start university in the netherlands (which is a big dream) but now I’m afraid that anxiety won’t let me. Hopefully I will try to see the doctors in Mexico and start the right treatments (inclusding medicine) to be able to go to university and follow my dreams. However I am afraid that I commited a horrible mistake by giving up so fast and wanting to go to my parents and get help home, instead of sticking for a little more and trying here with the psychiatrist. I feel a little stuck and have mixed feelings about all of this. What do you think? Have I made a bad decision? Is this considered avoidance? I really tried to do it on my own but was difficult. Please any opinions would be great. (I’m 19)
Stop beating yourself up over decisions you already made, that is water under the bridge. I have been on Paxil (an SSRI anti-depressant) for over 25 years, since I was diagnosed with chronic depression in my late 30's. It saved my life, truly. But SSRI's are mainly for depression, they are less effective for anxiety disorders. Xanax is more effective, but it can lead to difficulties getting off that drug-you can use a small dose once in awhile to help you get over bad period.
That is a difficult time of life, being 19. You have all sorts of decisions to make about your future life and career. It's not easy and it sure wasn't for me either. Don't question yourself, you made the best decision you could at the time with the facts you have. Maybe it would be better to go a couple of years of college in Mexico and then transfer to Holland when you're more confident in being away at school? In America lots of young people go to community colleges for a couple of years and then transfer to a university-it also saves a lot of money to do it that way.
I wish you good luck and I am sure you will overcome your anxiety in time and have a great life. I had anxiety when I was your age about those same things and I made it through-you well to, Amigo!