I have been on cit for many years, I was on 40mg but my gp reduce it to 20mg, he said it was to do with my age, I am 70very old I know. Something I can't do much about. But over the past six months I have been extremely anxious, cannot seem to relax at all, also very depressed, having serious bad thoughts. My appetite is nil, and this worries me. But do try to eat, I live alone, and very lonely, don't really want to go out. I have a serious tic, which I find embarrassing, so I tend to avoid talking to people. I am a real mess, have tried various things to help regarding the tic, without any success. I am fighting the depression like so many people on this site. But feel absolutely useless, Cannot really talk to anyone about my true feelings. I would just like some relief. We all need help on here, and find that I am not alone helps me.
it really is good to chat and listen to other people. Thank you.
Very sorry to hear about your present situation Wagner. You are so not alone, this forum is full of us who have similar, if not quite identical issues. Firstly, 70 is NOT 'very old' - I have friends approaching 80 who still consider themselves lively. What is making you feel 'old' is the situation you find yourself in. All the feelings you've mentioned are classics of depression, particularly the lack of appetite and nervous tic along with not wanting to go out or do anything. You can't just fight this alone, nobody can. Sometimes the most difficult person to talk to about these things is your doctor, they never seem to have enough time and knowing that we try to not bother them with details which ends up with us being frustrated we haven't been able to relate properly just how we're feeling and what it's doing to us. There are services available for counselling that don't require going through your GP, maybe you could look into that option, so that at least you would have time to sit and discuss it all fully. It's apparent that reducing your citalopram hasn't worked very well. Were you more stable before you reduced the dose? I really understand the feeling of uselessness, it's a horrible place to be and we all feel guilty that we can't operate or function normally (whatever normal is....) but the one thing you have to convince yourself of it's that it's not something that you can just snap out of, it's not weak or useless of you to require help to get through this, we all do at some time and that doesn't make us any less of a person. Please do look into counselling therapy, it's obvious you need to be able to talk in full about how you feel and what's troubling you and only then can a remedy be found. However difficult it is, do please go back and tell your GP that you need more help, it's what they are there for, no matter how busy they are. Hope you manage to do this. xx
Hi Wagner. You should feel welcome to talk to me about your true feelings here on this forum. Whether you're writing it down (which I think is theraputic actually) or saying it, it helps to share...you go right on ahead and let it out. We're all the same age on here if you know what I mean. It does sound like the meds reduction is either not working or you are withdrawing (depends on how long you've been on reduced dose). I recently had such a low point that I didn't want to live but I listened to some deep relaxation and depression guides on a CD, had a hot bath and a good meal and things are looking up. I've never been a religious person particularly but I started praying and reading comforting passages from the bible recently and somehow this has helped me, maybe it could help you. I just think handing yourself over to a power greater than yourself is good for the spirit. Each to their own of course - there have been times when I would have turned to anything for help, perhaps the bible takes me back to being a kid at school or something. Anyway, you get yourself back to Docs and get some proper help and take care of yourself - and when you feel better, offer some of your words of experience to someone else here. Take care.
Hello Wagner
I'm glad you have reached out to the forum for support.
i hope you can find some comfort from the information & interaction on this site.
please don't feel that you are on your own.
Have you spoken to your doctor about getting CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) or perhaps joining a support group?
CBT might be a good route for you to start building up your confidence. In my area (Oxfordshire), MIND run some excellent groups for people to get together & discuss their issues or just be in the company of others that have had similar experiences.
It is good to hear that you are trying to eat even though you have little appetite.
please do not feel that you are useless - I realise that this is a natural thought when we feel low. What about trying some positive self-talk. When I have a bad start to a day and my negative thoughts start taking over, I dust myself down and say 'right, I'm going to be as positive as I can and I'm going to give this my best shot'. Sometimes, I can almost conquer my fear - some days I can't - but I am always pleased that I have tried my best. It is important to be kind to yourself.
you say you have trouble relaxing - what sort of hobbies did you do in the past? - would you consider exploring these again? What about learning piano? Reading some books?. I know it is tough trying to get started on hobbies when you are depressed - but it is really important for you to find a way to relax. If you can build some relaxation into your day then it could just help lessen your feelings of anxiety.
have you thought about keeping a daily journal? - what about capturing 3 things that you are grateful for every day? - then with every new week you could perhaps add one more thing on your list?
breaking the cycle of negativity is hard but I know that we have the strength to conquer our fears. Please believe in yourself - you are stronger that you think.
i'll be thinking of you.
take care Wagner
sleepy crow
Hello wagner
how are you feeling today?
I am thinking of you.
Best set wishes to you
sleepy crow x
Hi thank you so much for your advice and kind thoughts, I do read a lot, so I lose myself that way. I will go and see my gp regarding CBT I am sure that would help.
Thank you. X
Hi Wagner
yes, definetly talk to your GP about CBT. I was able to refer myself via a website called Talking SPace - I think it is linked to the MIND mental health charity.
What book have you been reading today?
not sure what sort of books you enjoy reading but I would like to recommend Jonas Jonasson - a fantastic Swedish author whose books have been translated into English. The latest book is : the girl who saved the king of Sweden. It is a totally bonkers book, cleverly written. worth reading the reviews on Amazon to see if it's the sort of book that you might like to read.
I am thinking of you - drop me a note next week & let me know how you are doing.
sleepy crow x
Hello Wagner
i was thinking about you today. How are you?
are you doing ok?
what books are you reading at the moment? - I have just started reading 'the Martian by andy weir'.
sleepy crow x