Going through an anxiety relapse, focused on irrational things, could use some reassurance

Mental health
1

I've been posting on here recently, so some of you may have read about my other experiences.  I suffer from chronic anxiety, it's been a recurrent issue for about ten years now (I recently turned 30).  It was fairly well managed until a year ago when I got a new doctor who advised I take xanax.  Eventually it stopped being beneficial and I had a resurgence of anxiety that became unbearable about 3 months ago.  I'm currently on a taper plan from that medication, and it's elevated my general anxiety levels through the roof.

Anyways, I've been recently having problems fixating on everything relating to my health that you can imagine.  I've had a lot of basic tests down in the past few months, lots of bloodwork, x-rays, thyroid testing, you name it.  None of the tests have detected any medical problems.  

Today I was looking at my hands for some reason, and I noticed the veins in my fingers seemed too prominent and dark.  It wasn't extreme, but it was noticable to me.  I then noticed there was a dark spot, very small, on one of the veins, almost like a bruise, that wasn't there when I first examined them.  I started Googling and found some very alarming information about conditions it could be linked to.  

Long story short, I ended up not able to control my heartrate or breathing and was convinced I was on the verge of a heart attack.  I ended up in the emergency room, they ruled out stroke, or heart attack, and sent me on my way.  The doctor there was wise enough not to give me anything for my anxiety, he didn't want to interfere with my taper plan, so technically I'm still on track.  

I'm still fixated on this stupid vein thing though.  At the ER they didn't do a metabolic panel or complete blood count (probably because I did just have those done about a month ago), but I can't help but think they possibly missed something because they didn't give me those specific tests.  When I left the ER my pulse was 70 and my blood pressure was 120/80, so my vitals were basically perfect, and they did the bloodwork, ekgs, and x-rays necessary to rule out anything catastrophic.  I have an appointment with a cardiologist now, just to give me peace of mind more than anything, but sadly he's booked until the end of September.  

I really don't know how to proceed from here.  I could go down the rabbit hole of getting extra testing done, but it's hard for me to know when enough is enough.  I've already had quite a few tests done in the past few months, and I've become so imaginative with my health that my worries are constantly shifting.  I'm seeing my primary care provider tomorrow, and a psychologist in the area agreed to take me in tomorrow since it's kind of an urgent situation for me, if my primary care provider will write the referal (I need it for insurance purposes).  Still, part of me just has difficulty accepting this is mental.  I know the medication has been a big factor, I've been through this before, the first time this manifested in a debilitating way was when I was 19, I was convinced I had some horrible illnesses because of some relatively minor symptoms I was having.  It's discouraging because I feel that I'm sliding back to that point, and the progress I made during the past years has evaporated.  

2

Hiya. How long have you been on xanax for ? Sometimes stopping medications can cause our anxiety hightened. Just so you know, you are not alone in this. Im 31 and few months ago I didnt have anxiety at all. Then bam. I cant even sleep anymore. Part to our recovery is accepting our anxiety. I dont like medications either but I think Im going to have to take them. You can get thru this ❤

3

Thanks I've been taking it for about a year, and was on a smaller dose of a similar medication for a while prior to that.  So, long enough to build up a dependency for sure.  I know it's definitely increasing the level of anxiety I experience on a daily basis.  

I never should've been taking it every day in the first place, I listened to the prescribing doctor and didn't ask any questions about the medication, I was kind of ignorant as to what the long term consequences.  I found it made me feel good and less anxious, so I continued to take it every day as directed.  Really, I should've just been using it in emergency situations, like when I had a panic attacks.  

You're right, accepting the anxiety is a big part of it.  I know it's irrational, but I sometimes find it difficult to accept the fact that all the symptoms I experience could be caused by anxiety, despite the fact that I've had testing that shows I'm healthy.  Sometimes just talking about it helps a great deal, some of the worries I have seem so silly once I actually say them out loud (or write them down).  

4

I agree 😊I dont know what I would do without this forum. Talking about it really helps, knowing that there is so many other people feeling the same. Anxiety sucks, makes us think that we are going crazy, irrational thoughts put us in a right state. Wish I could just stop it grrrr I can totally get it with xanax, benzos make us feel like our old selfs, give us some relief from physical symptoms...but....they addictive. Sometimes I think so what, look at ADs , how addictive they are and what kind of withdrawl they can give us.

5

Hi Have you considered taking any Vitamin C or B12 supplements? These can help a lot in these situations.

Is your vitamin D level okay?

 

6

I agree with you about vitamins. Ive got iron deficiency and thats what can cause anxiety as well. L-theanine works on the same GABA receptors as diazepam and its a diet suplement. You can get it on ebay or amazon. Also Kali phos, or wild lettuce extract, lemon balm can work wonders. And its all legal and natural.

7

I also take vitamin B sumplements , vitamin D and C. Apparently Vitamin B sumplements can cure anxiety. Read some good reviews about it. And of course magnessium.

8

 our mind is a powerful thing. Once negativity and fear creep in  and take over, it can wreak havoc on our thinking. It leads us to worst-case and Scenerio thinking. 

 I really think that counseling is absolutely needed and is a high priority. This is difficult to overcome on our own and our thoughts can just destroy us. You need someone else to talk to you in person who is professional and can help guide you in managing your anxiety.  

 also, there are some excellent audio meditations on YouTube for anxiety, depression, sleeping, overthinking. Just search for guided meditation for anxiety or whatever you want. I think a good one for  you is called "detachment from overthinking" and "clearing subconscious negativity".   There are many to choose from.  they completely relax my mind and body. That is important because all anxiety begins in the brain and you have to relax the brain in order to relax the body. 

 I know it's difficult to accept that this is all mental, but I can tell you that I suffered with this same thing for over 30 years and if it was more than mental, I probably wouldn't be here. 

Yes,  anxiety and stress can definitely cause one to think they have some horrible illness. I thought that also when I was in my 20s in all my tests came out normal. 

 I know one lady years ago who actually had a temporary paralysis due to stress and anxiety. It eventually went away but she was still left with the anxiety to manage.  I'm sure she thought she had some terrible disease. 

 if you can get a book called mindfulness, it shows you how to regain your peace of mind and manage stress and anxiety. It's a very popular concept all over the world and definitely worth reading. It's a white book with a ball of string on the cover. 

 we don't have to let anxiety control us. The worst thing we can do is sit and think about all of this because that makes the anxiety and symptoms worse. Mindfulness teaches us to take a calm approach to it all and actually acknowledge the fact that we are  fearful and anxious instead of fighting it off .  Very interesting and effective. 

9

I'm not sure, I've had a lot of different bloodwork done, but I'm not sure if it specifically looked at those levels. I had a slight potassium deficiency, which I've tried to rectify by diet.  I'm guessing it's possible my levels could be in the lower range and the doctors didn't think it was worth worrying about.  I don't get much exposure to the sun, so I'm sure my vitamin D could be low.  I know nutrition is important, and the healthier you are, the better you generally feel.  I'll look into some supplements, do you have any recommendations for which ones are the best to take? There are so many options out there.  

10

You're right, it definitely leads to worst case scenario type of thinking.  It's not a good situation.  All your advice is useful, and anxiety definitely can manifest in a variety of ways.  It triggered a psoriasis-like skin reaction in me, when it was at its worst.  

It's ironic because most of the people I know think I'm super calm.  I tend to come off as very controlled, and in work situations people have mentioned my ability to maintain my composure and be laid back in high pressure situations, little do they know the torrent of negative thoughts spinning through my head!  I guess that's because my anxiety is more internally focused, things like dealing with a crisis at work don't trigger me, but if I notice the tiniest mark on my skin I will go into a tailspin.  

I've found cognitive behavioral therapy to be useful in the past.  I'm seeing some kind of mental health professional today, not sure how beneficial they'll be.  My primary care provider thinks I need to see a psychiatrist, but of course they're all booked for a while.  I used to meditate, I probably should get back into it.  It's definitely a day-to-day thing.  Yesterday I struggled all day long, today I feel calm and aloof.  The one logical thing I keep telling myself is that by giving into this anxiety, I'm actually compromising my health and putting myself at higher risk for the things I worry about.  I've been quite sedentary lately, been afraid to exercise, etc.  I'm a normal weight, but I feel like I'm out of shape.  I'm around 6'2" and I weight 188lbs right now, which is considered normal, but I have too much body fat and I feel like that puts me at risk for the very medical conditions I worry about.  Two years ago I was a lean 170, so I'm aiming to get back to that.  

Another observation I've made is that I have a very obsessive personality type, and I think it's the same for many other people with anxiety.  It's like I need something to fixate on, and if it's not something positive, something extremely negative will take over.  I have always have tended to go through intense phases of obsession where I get into something and it consumes me.  This has happened with stuff like playing the guitar, working out, video games, art, reading about philosophy or ancient history, etc.  The common thread is that those things would give me an enthusiasm and sense of focus that was directed towards something positive, even if it was kind of extreme.  Right now I'm in a phase of being consumed with worries about diseases, to an unhealthy degree.  So, I'm looking for ways now to redirect my focus back to things that at least bring me enjoyment.

11

Hi Steven you are suffering from benzo withdrawal which is far worse than coming off an antidepressant.Increase anxiety is definitely one of the many problems that occur.Sadly there doesn't seem to be anything you can take other than let the storm pass.Benzo buddies is definitely a great forum for coming off benzos where you can chat with others that are coming off Xanax.They can give you tips on how to cope.

12

Hi

POTASSIUM.

My GP prescribed Sandoz K for a lowish potassium level but it caused a fast heart rate after one dose. So was discontinued.

I now use dietary measures to maintain  the potassium levels. I eat avocados. Bananas ,potatoes are a good source of potassium as well as citrus fruits . I have reflux and a gluten intolerance so foods are pretty resttrictedand boring!.

I will google and send on you a link on foods containing potassium .

VITAMIN D.

If you are taking certain medications such as PPIs, phenytoin et al these can cause malabsorption of nutrients leading to anaemia, low vitamin D etc, neuropathic pain, muscle wastage, painful joints , tendonitis .

Gluten intolerance can cause auto immune disorders such as Hashimotos disease which is a thyroid disorder. The thyroid is sensitive and together with the pituitary gland controls the endocrine system.

Gluten attacks the thyroid, the thyroid treats the gluten as a foreign body and reacts by producing antibodies. The best thing to do is to look up thyroid forums and then you will get a more scientific explanation!

Same applies to anaemia and Vit B12. There is a site called pernicious anaemia which has masses of info on the thyroid, the anaemias and also on Vitamin D.

​Benzos attack the gaba receptors uin th brain causing depression, aanaxiety lack of motivation as they suppress the endodorphins which are the bodys natural analgesics and anti depressants.

Withdrawal from the benzos is a long haul but worthwhile. Benzo buddies are vaaluable sources of suppport and info on this.

Withdrawal from opiates such as codeine, morhine hroin is tortuous but not dangerous and beneficial.

​Exercis helps as it stimulates the endorphins. This can take time but is acheiveable. Best not to go on this stuff in the first place  but have been there, done it worn the T shirt etc. Now I rely on heat pads, ice packs, TENS machine for pain control plus Magnesium, of course, Vitamin D and Vit B12, calcium, ferrous sulphate, and paracetamol in low doses.

I hope this helps.

Xanax of course is a benzo so best avoided.

Eaacah day of cutting down on his stuff is a day nearer your goal and  towards regaining your life. Good luck. Keep strong.

​There are

 

13

I agree with you Marleen.

​The trap here is that a psychiatrist may prescribe an anti depressant for what sounds to me like the side effects, adverse reacton to Xanax!!

Then the person will undoubtedly have adverse reaction to the anti depressant told to keep on taking it as they need time to build up in their system then when they feel worse the med will be 'reviewed' changed and the whole cycle repeated until the patent does not know if they are comng or going!!!

What a mess.

 

14

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=foods+high+in+potassium&ie=&oe=

Will also PM the link. x

15

Yes!  I'm trying to avoid that cycle.  I've been prescribed an anti-depressant, but I'm going to wait to take it until I get through this tapering process.  I used to take one in the past, and I felt sick and more anxious when first starting.  

When I'm able to get out the daily benzo, I'll see how my anxiety is doing and then decide whether I need the anti-depressant.  I don't usually go against what my physicians advise, but in this case I'm wary of the anti-depressant and I know it's going to complicate my current tapering process tremendously.  Either way, I'm pursuing consoling and cognitive behavioral therapy in the meantime.  

16

*counseling

17

Hi Steve

Sounds like you have got it all sussed out. Good on you.

I wish I had no got into that cycle many years ago. Those anti depressants wrecked me.

I saw others in the same precicament and vowed never to get caught upin this visious circle ever again.

Another durg to be extremely wary of is codeine or any otheer opiates.

​I as presribed for a back problem. I took very little of it as I noticed a heaviness of my cheest after taking it. Then I got sevre headaches, was sweating at might. anorxic, anxious, depressed . I finally dscovered from a neurologist that the codeine was responsible for all these signs and symptoms. What a nightmare, never again. The withdrawal was indescribable even after taking a small dose infrequently. However I persisted, heaven only knows how I got through it all but I did.

I have been called awkward, obstructive difficult by some drs for refusing codeine or co codamol for pain, I just state that I am simply following the Consultant Neurologists instructions which were/are to never take any opiates ever again because of the serious side effects of making one's brain swell, causing anx etc, etc.

.I am still waiting for the gaba receptors in my brain to operate at an optimal level again prior to the toxic substance aka codeine. I am feeling a lot better but I resent what happened to me through no fault of my own. This experience ld me to do a lot of research into many medicines. That is why I avoid themif t allpossible and take a few supplements. Even then I only buy ones that are suitable for vegans, do not contain wheat, soy, corn, gluten, aspartame, sorbitol, etc, etc as binders and/or fillers.

I once had 2.5 mlsmof a drug for epilepsy called clobzam. Withi3minurtes I had severe diarrhoea, 3 seizures and palpitations. The consultant gastro enterologist said it was the sorbitol in the liquid clobazam and said he was not surprised at my reaction to it!!

Even with supplements one has to be careful.

​I have Vit B12  sub lingually. However this can deplete the body of Vit D so I already have a Vit D deficiency so take a supplement .

B12 can also lower potassium levels so that is another reason for eating foods rich in potassium.

 xx

 

18

Hi Steve Re sending due to typos, message sent accidentally before editing.

Sounds like you have got it all sussed out. Good on you.

I wish I had not got into that cycle of anti depressants, side effects etc many years ago. Those anti depressants wrecked me.

I saw others in the same predicament and vowed never to get caught up in that vicous circle ever again.

Another drug  to be extremely wary of is codeine or any other opiates. Careful of any analgesics containing codeine as a constituent.

​I was prescribed co codamol then codeine on its own for a back problem. I took very little of it as I noticed a heaviness of my chest after taking just one tablet.

​Then I got severe daily headaches, was sweating at might. anorexic, anxious, depressed . I eventually discovered from a private neurologist who I had been referred to due to my headaches that the codeine was responsible for them plus all the other signs and symptoms.

I abruptly stopped them. Some people withdraw gradually.

It is not dangerous to withdraw from opiates just nightmarish but had to be done.

What a nightmare, never again. The withdrawal was indescribable even after taking a small dose infrequently. However I persisted, heaven only knows how I got through it all but I did.

The neurologist told me never to take any more opiates .NB I have been called awkward, obstructive difficult by some drs for refusing codeine or co codamol for pain, I just state that I am simply following the Consultant Neurologists instructions which were/are to never take any opiates ever again because of the serious side effects of making one's brain swell, causing anx etc, etc.

.I am still waiting for the gaba receptors in my brain to operate at an optimal level again prior to the toxic substance aka codeine. I am feeling a lot better but I resent what happened to me through no fault of my own. I did not even crave this nasty drug or get a kick out of it, however I learned from the neurologist that a lot of people are in the same predicament as I was through prescribed codeine.

This experience led me to do a lot of research into many medicines. That is why I avoid them if at all possible and take a few supplements. Even then I only buy ones that are suitable for vegans, do not contain wheat, soy, corn, gluten, aspartame, sorbitol, etc, etc as binders and/or fillers.

I once had 2.5 mls of a drug for epilepsy called clobzam.

Within 30 minutes I had severe diarrhoea, 3 seizures and palpitations.  Had to get the paramedics out .

The consultant gastro enterologist said it was the sorbitol in the liquid clobazam and said he was not surprised at my reaction to it!!

Even with supplements one has to be careful.

​I have Vit B12  sub lingually. However this can deplete the body of Vit D so I already have a Vit D deficiency so take a supplement .

B12 can also lower potassium levels so that is another reason for eating foods rich in potassium.

It is a minefield out there with Big Pharma making huge profits. Anti depressants, statins, ppi's are fortune makers

xx