Went out with my husband to face the fear, had awful and crazy thoughts that i was going to fly out of the windscreen either accidentally or on purpose and lots of panic symptoms.
I called the mental health crisis team just to talk and they wouldn't talk it over with me, the guy just said to ring someone in the morning,
They usually talk it over with me but he wouldn't,just said to get myself through the night but i can't do that knowing i am crazy
Hey Bella. If you want, you can email me whenever you're feeling bad. I can't say that I've felt like THAT persay, but I have felt quite awful.
Thank you, i just feel like i have gone crazy and i am so let down that they wouldn't even talk to me, i never sleep properly so them saying to get myself through the night is impossible to me, they are trained in mental health and could have at least talked through it with me but he couldn't get me off the phone fast enough.
Maybe call back after a few minutes. Probably would been got a different person at least.
Have* sorry. Autocorrect is my nemesis.
You're not going crazy, you know these thought are wrong and you can control them, it just feels like you are at the moment. I really feel for you though as you obviously feel that you need more help than you are getting. Could you call them back? Tell them that you can't cope and need urgent care?
That kind of thing, would have made me feel even more anxious. All I have to say is, keep thinking that it's JUST anxiety & that you'll get through it! Lately, I've begun to have short-term memory loss more often. That's been scaring me, a lot. I feel like I'll lose my memory completely or something. I feel like I'm going crazy.
It really did make me more anxious than ever before, i get short term memory loss too, i will forget what i've just said for example but i know that isn't that i'm going crazy, i can blame that on anxiety and having a tired mind, i understand how scary it is though, i have had so many conversations with my gp about it for reassurance because it's a frightening thing to go through.
I called SANELINE and spoke to a really nice lady there, it's not medical advice but it was a listening ear at least and some empathy too.
Do you ever start to get anxious when you have a headache? I know that I'll get anxious and very irritable, even though I've had enough sleep. I'll get mad about something STUPID, once I get anxiety and have a headache. I don't know why. I also, am sensitive to sudden noises, like my phone going off or someone yelling in the house (doesn't matter if they're close to me or not).
Thankyou, I actually managed to push the thought away after a little while, then i had my usual anxiety so i had to deal with that but once i had the thought panicked me badly again.
Ihave tried calling them back before and they just say the same thing, they bring up your records, repeat what the last person said and that's it, don't get me wrong, a few of them are brilliant but it's pot luck who you get.
They also said before that they have limited capacity as to what they can do and that if you really can't cope you need to go to A&E which i have thought about but it's 5 hours on average to be seen and they usually just give you more valium and tell you to ring the mental health team in the morning.
I will ring the MH team in the morning and explain for the millionth time that i cannot travel to my appointment on monday but i'm not expecting much, they think i can force myself there.
Not the headaches but the sudden noises set me off very badly, i get really anxious and snappy when that happens,i hate my ears popping too and they do that a lot.
I've had my phone on silent most of the time recently because it triggers me so much, i only turn it up when my hubby has to go out so i hear his texts and calls, it's like having post traumatic stress disorder symptoms except i didn't have a traumatic event to set it all off.
I don't know if you care to know about all of this, but I'm going to try to be detailed enough for you to get it...
I got really drunk with some pig of a friend I knew (it was a month before I had my first REAL panic attack), & we had sex. I didn't want to tell him I remembered it, but I didn't remember it being with HIM. I remembered it being with someone else I liked. Therefore, I thought I had had sex with this other guy and not HIM! When he asked me if I knew what happened that night with him & I, I was so scared. He told me, and I freaked out on the inside. He kept trying to talk to me & said he loved me... He told me that he had came inside me. Mind you, I know now that I'm not pregnant. It's been a few months. I've already had a couple of periods after that... I just couldn't take it. I tried to avoid talking to him, for a while.
Since I love to smoke, I went down there with someone I was dating, just to smoke, chill for a bit, & leave. I got a severe panic attack while I was there, stoned. I'm not sure if I've been feeling this way, because of that situation, or not. He told me I consented to it, but I didn't know it was him. I don't know.
That sounds awful, do you think it set off a fear in you of being 'out of control'? Apparently anxiety is a lot about being scared of losing control, that night you were drunk and it was drink that messed with your memory but now you are still worried because you don't even remember if you consented.
Our minds are funny things and create fear and worry so easily, i was cuddled into my husband and could smell the scent of his body, i was half asleep and thought i had slept with another guy i used to know, i freaked out for hours over that feeling guilt for something i hadn't even done.
I'm so relieved for you that you are not pregnant, that would have made it so much worse.
It does seem like the whole event triggered you though, it would certainly be enough to trigger me hugely if that happened, after all you thought you had slept with a certain person and had a huge shock finding out it was someone else, i don't blame you for avoiding him, it's something you need to come to terms with somehow and then let go in order to heal from it and seeing him wont allow you to do that.
I really feel for you, what a horrible experience.
I have to be honest im from the USA and your mental health system is dysfunctional and scary. Either that or the person who was so disgustingly cold on the other end of the phone needs to find a new job. bella i hope you find some peace of mind soon. There is a way to fix all this but you need the mental health staff to work with you.No one should be in such a crisis and left in the dust. I will add you in my prayers and i hope you figure this all out.
Thankyou, it is really bad here with the mental health system, some areas are better, some are just dreadful and sadly where i am it is utterly dreadful, the person on the phone was so cold and all i wanted was to talk it over.
I called SANELINE which is a charity helpline we have here and although they are not medically qualified they are supportive and spent ages talking to me about my fears, it really should be the qualified mental health team doing that but they are utterly hopeless.
try and make your appointment bella. I dont know how, do you hav xanax or something to help to get to th appointment. Can you somehow get yourself to the level of going! You really need to do this to get the help you need. Do they do appointment through the facetime or internet? We have that here too. Are you taking any medicatins for anxiety anymore? If not maybe a klonopin or xanax to get your body cqlmer so you can attend the appointment.
Thank you, so much!! I'm trying to cope the best I can. I feel like I've moved past that event, but it's like I can't cope with it subconciously. Y'know?
It must be really hard for you, i hope you can find a way to deal with it and cope with what happened, the effects will play on your mind a lot, a bad experience can leave all kinds of negative thoughts and feelings rumbling around inside of us even once we have gotten through the main event itself.
I have diazepam but it doesn't do much now where i've been on it for years, they refuse to give anything else, even diazepam is frowned upon here, they used to do home visits years ago but wont now and they don't do any kind of online appointments which is a shame as it would be really useful.
I do want to go but it's hard with agoraphobia and they are going to do a medication review which sounds positive to some but that really just means they want to experiment with different things again, they wont discuss therapy because they say it takes too long.
I will try my hardest to go though, it's a lunchtime appointment, morning would have been better because I have a big dose of my diazepam in the mornings but it was all they had, I will just have to try as hard as I can.