I'm going through a guilt crisis, I'm trying to sleep right now but can't get these thoughts out of my head.
Let me please give you some context - I am single after being divorced, have no kids and have a really well paid job, and as I can't find happiness in material things any more, I rarely spend money on things I don't need and therefore have quite a lot of disposable income. My sister is married with 2 kids and her and her husband make about half of what I make a year, he works full time and she works part time due to child care.
I saw my sister out in town today working, she works at a care home for adults with learning difficulties and she was out with one of the residents of the home, and after talking to her briefly for 10 minutes 3 things went through my mind that I can't stop thinking about:
1. I feel nothing but guilty for earning so much; my sister has such a purposeful job and a family to look after, and the wage she earns is so low for the work she does. I've told her this before as I had a breakdown a while back after being depressed but not talking about it, then when I started talking it all came out, but the feelings of guilt have come rushing back.
2. After seeing the difficulties the resident my sister was caring for has had to put up with their whole life, I feel so guilty for being so unhappy with how much I have when there are so many people in this world who are in positions that are so much worse than my own, this person can barely feed themselves and here I am moaning about how unfair my life is.
3. As much as I feel sorry for the resident, seeing their smiling face and how happy they were today made me jealous that I am so unhappy with my own life. They have none of the worries or anxieties I have, none of the responsibilities or concerns and are so happy with what they have and will never know things to be any different, and in that respect I envy them but feel so guilty for doing so.
Does anyone have similar thoughts about their own situations and have any advice that may help?