Hair trigger depression/PTSD?

Mental health
1

So I'm actually only 12 and this is weird, but here goes: My dad abused me.

Simple. When people in class are jerks, or i'm really anxious, or someone says something even slightly related to the thing, I get flashbacks. Not just remembering that it happened, but vivid mental recreations of it. Like it's happening all over again. Intense, wide-eyed fear, a few minutes of what could only be described as anxiety, sadness, regret and melancholy duct-taped together, and then.... Nothing. No sadness. No happiness. No anger. But not in like the Buddhist kind of way. More like the sociopath kind of way. Is that depression? I'm not sure. Sometimes I just want to end it because I'm worried of what'll happen if it spirals out of control.

2

My darling you poor thing..

You've endured so much, and so young!

I haven't had to face nearly as much as you, but I've had my own traumas, and I know how it feels for them to be brought to light with other people's unknowing actions and words.

It's awful.

Have you spoken to anyone about the abuse?

Is there anyone you feel you can trust?

I'm in the UK and I don't know where you are but I'm sure there are services available to help you.

In the meantime, talk on here. We are all here for you.

Don't worry about talking, it's the best thing you can do to get your feelings out there.

Do you write? Draw? Play sports? Anything you can do to express yourself unless you feel in danger.

In which case contact a teacher, the police, anyone.

We are all here.

Thinking of you my huni xxx

3

Thank you! I'm a beatboxer in my school's a capella group, so that's nice. I have therapists and stuff, but i find they only really help in the short term, just to keep me from disrupting class, rather than actually helping me to get help. I was looking on this site to see if anyone had long-term tips for this kind of thing.

4

I'm not sure where you are either I'm in Australia and here we have a kid help line that you can call to let things of your chest to talk get support or any help you need you need counselling hun or you need to talk to a doctor or a professional that can steer you on the right track I was abused as a child too and it never goes away but you Learn to live with it through support not sure of your currant circumstance but if need be call the police or get help now if your still in danger please know you have support as already said by Audrey we are here for you sending you my thoughts and a big heart felt hug and yes hunny it does sound like depression xo

5

Well as for long term tips, it again varies significantly based on where you are etc.

I would assume a GP may be reluctant to start you on medication, though they may do given your circumstances, I really don't know.

I think the first step would be confiding in a trusted adult, then seeing a doctor who would probably start you on talking therapy of some sort.

Only you know what you feel up to telling people though.

If you ever feel in danger call the police.

I can't really offer any more advice not knowing where you are etc, but know you can always post on here, and I'm thinking of you.

xxxxx

6

Hey there,

First of all none of this is your fault! You didnt ask for it and theres nothing dramatic about wanting help change your name buddy! Those descriptions sound like anxiety or similar However I am not an expert! You really need to talk with your GP and explain so they can treat you properly, what kind of support have you got around your abuse 'I also was abused and never told anyone instead tried deleting it with drugs' (NOT AN OPTION FOR YOU) You can get help whether its thru medication, Cognitive behaviour therapy or supports groups you shouldnt be struggling with this. Take care and keep us posted.