Hi all, new here. Just thought I would post some of what I have going on. I have had really bad anxiety and some pure O thoughts (type of OCD) and depression for about 11 years now. I am going to be 29 soon, and I have had some good times managing it and some really bad times. I was doing fairly well, able to travel a few hours out, and generally live life without too much hassle. I had a bad setback in mid 2016 and it threw me for a loop. I ended up getting very agoraphobic (basically about 10 miles or less away from home, and even that can be pushing it), and hate when my wife leaves out of town (the further the worse, obviously). I've got a little bit better with the latter, she has made some trips since then, and I always have a really hard time. I become like a child, and actually had this issue with my parents when they moved out of state, and felt I couldn't get better without them near. It was like it was gospel, even though I wanted it to be different, it wouldn't budge.
Anyways, she is going out of town tonight, and will be pretty far, maybe the furthest she has gone in a long time. I am very upset right now and just keep fearing the worst. I generally have my anxiety down to where it doesn't bother me too much if I am keeping myself comfortable in a small safety zone, and only struggle when I have to breach that, and here we are. I feel out of control, and like I may never see her again. I was fine all week until now and am just beside myself. I have family near now, so I won't be alone, but I feel without her, I won't be ok. I wish I could just miss her a little and enjoy the break apart, all couples need it once in awhile, but I feel like it's doom and not sure what will happen. It's only 5 days, so it's not like it's super long, but even when I tell myself that, the anticipatory anxiety keeps telling me all the worst things imaginable.
Sorry for the long post, it's actually super short compared to what's going on in my head...can anyone grant me some good tips or advice or relate or anything? I've got through it before, but it's always super hard for me, especially in the beginning. I just don't want to go through this uncomfortable and the pain of missing her and stuff. If anyone read this, thank you.
I truly understand I'm in the same position except I think I got it a little more better lol. I never knew how much I would miss my husband until he left .. he had a little bit of marital problems but he moved a thousand miles away from me with my son.. it was suppose to be for 3 months but now it's been 6 months and every single day I think I'm dying.. I keep begging him to come back and bring my son but he keeps telling me he can't take off work.. so I'm constantly just in a shambles I can't think eat sleep and sometimes barely breathe.. and I keep praying to god please don't let me go yet let me see my son first.. I'm currently with my mom and I Hate when she leaves me home alone that's just a huge panic attack waiting to happen.. I don't know what happen and why I'm so afraid to be alone it I understand. I think we just need some really good friends to ease our mind and keep us nothing but occupied for the time being..
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It's so rough being an adult and having that feeling of having to have someone near, it can be very debilitating! I hope it works out for you. It's hard when people don't know how you feel, as panic and anxiety and depression is so crappy and if someone doesn't go through it, they don't quite grasp the severity of it. I appreciate the response. I would enver wish this feeling on anyone and am sad you're suffering, but it goes to show we aren't alone. I'm not very good at it but I'll pray for you to have answers soon and some relief! Hang in there
Awe thank you so very much.. and yes you are 100 percent right they don't get it at all.. they act like it's just a switch you can turn off when you want.. if it was that easy I would have been turned it off and never turned it back on again ever.. my mom keeps telling me snap out of it toughin up some you worry too much and I have to constantly explain to her that it is sometimes out of my control and I be scared for dear life.. and my husband almost takes it as a joke he just doesn't get it only if they really knew they would change their whole mindset and be more supportive about the situation
I totally understand. Even when they try to be helpful and stuff, it's just super rough. Tough love is good sometimes but when you feel like you're dying, it just makes it that much harder and logic seems to disappear. I have been reading alot about acceptance and it's a really hard strategy but seems to have a high success rate. There's an author called Claire Weekes and she has some really good books about it and audiobooks. Maybe it could help youm
You do not mention if you are having treatment with your problems. Your condition is treatable and some support will help you confront your fears.
If your Partner is only away for five days would that not give you the chance to defeat your fears for Her return.
I was like you when younger I would be frightened I would miss the person I was dating when I was away on courses and wit my past would be unable to trust when away. Part of life is letting go. Been able to show how much you have missed the person on their return.
Remember when absent love can become that much stronger it can also make the return that much sweeter
Thanks for the response! I was seeing someone for my issues but I ended up stopping going when I felt better, which I realize now I have a lot to still accomplish. You're very right with everything else. I wish my emotions were more in check so I could be a bit more logical but I will work on it. Trying to establish acceptance right now and work on breathing and stuff when I start getting upset. Thanks again I really appreciate the input!