Having a strange time emotionally

Mental health
1

Hey, I've been having a strange time emotionally recently. So the year has been an interesting one for me. Swapped my really stressful job for one I actually enjoy, made a bunch of new friends both where I work and socially. It is in a very male orientated field though and at times I find people's humor/ banter/ comments feel like pot shots and a bit of a grind interacting with some of them.

I'm a pretty easy going person but I get the feeling some people just read that as an easy target to make themselves look good if they take the piss, which I struggle to respond to as I tend to take stuff for ages and then go nuclear when I do eventually snap.

Still got a divorce dragging on, that I just want done with now (I feel trapped to a certain extent), 2 years it's been going on and it's a total money grab by her (on money I don't actually have) so it has now become a bit of a stalemate.

I want a new relationship as I'm pretty lonely, I try to get out there but never seem to meet anyone that's single. One of my younger friends seems to have women throwing themselves at him all the time, he does fall in to the asshole category. It makes me think what the hell is wrong with me. To be honest though, the "type" of women he gets for are only physically attractive and are not the kind of people I would connect with. So I guess there's just an element of jealousy on my part.

My depression is a lot better than it was and I'm starting to get a bit of the self esteem back that I used to have before I was with my wife. The emotional breakdowns seem to be a lot less these days though they can pop up if I drink too much.

I don't know, I just feel like an outsider at times, like I don't fit in with the general populous and I'm now starting to get accustomed to my own company. I miss having someone to talk to on an evening and being able to cuddle up to in bed.

I'm thinking about taking up some kind of hobby but I'm struggling to find anything that will appeal to me on a long term or that will introduce me to new people.

Not really sure what I want from this post to be honest, just thought I'd put stuff down to see the difference from where I was a year ago. Think I'm doing a lot better but still a fair way to go yet. Matt

2

so first i wanna say congratulations to the new job and having the guts to leave the old one! tried to loosen up with a new coworkers it takes time some people have dark humor so I would just let it be don’t worry about making friends at work you’re there to make your money not have friends beyond that it sounds like you’re doing a lot of comparing yourself to this other guy and that can be an issue because his life is not yours and you are your biggest critic definitely sounds like you need a self care hobby, maybe the gym can help with your fustrations, you sound like a nice guy by what you’re posting so I definitely want and compare myself to some asshole who pretty much sounds like he is a player because that’s not who you are I’m a girl and I will say I do a lot of comparing myself to other women like oh I wish that I had as big hips an a but as she does sort well I wish I was as pretty as her in their models with 2 million followers are on Instagram and sometimes I have to remember that whatever I want in life if I speak it into existence and I wholeheartedly believe that I deserve the things that I can have them but I have to believe in myself first and stop comparing myself to other people Because I am me and that’s all that I can ever be in in order to have a for filling life you have to love yourself first so maybe try going to the gym not only what do you gain muscle and tone up but you will feel better physically and sometimes it’s nice to physically exhausted your body into see the results that you’re putting in work for and that alone will build your self-confidence and you won’t be looking at other guys like why can I be like him because you’ll end up falling back in love with yourself and once you do that you’ll be able to truly be ready for a relationship I feel like things happen for a reason I’m not sure if you’re religious or if you believe in a higher element but I definitely do and I definitely think that maybe you’re still single because you need to learn to love yourself whole heartedly first because you cannot love another the right way if you don’t love yourself first and that took me a long time to learn best of luck for you love yourself