Hi,
I'm a teen and a since February I've had very bad health anxiety.
It started with a faint 'pain' in my back it was nothing but for some reason my brain told me I had a tumour. I'm guessing the more I thought about it the more I thought I was in pain. It eventually went and since then if I've been in pain my brain has spiralled into telling me it's cancer. I've managed to get myself out of these episodes twice and the last week has been just brilliant but yesterday I started worrying again, it's not about a specific area it's cancer in general as soon as I wake up my brain starts going.
I need to tell my parents I know but I'm waiting for the right moment and haven't felt too bad these last few months and thought it was getting better, I saw old photos of myself and got so upset because I just want to be care free and happy and not have cancer playing on my mind all day.
I feel so ashamed because there are people out there with cancer fighting it being so brave and then there's me being a complete wimp about it.
I know how to distract myself and I have one friend who I can go to who lets me ramble which makes me feel better but I've just had enough now I want to live again and enjoy being a teenager. I have to admit it is getting better in a way, I used to Google and obsess over one area now it's more general and if I put my mind on something else I forget and as I say the last week I really thought I'd got better. I want to be normal for Christmas so I can start 2018 being me again.
I also don't know whether a lot of it is because I am a teen and I'm stressed in normal life? I know a lot of friends also fear cancer but they probably don't obsess over it. I have managed to stop checking my body and googling and found ways to put the thoughts out of my mind but there hasnt yet been a day where I don't think about and say the word cancer over and over in my mind.
I just want to know I'm not alone as reading about other people getting over it is something that helps me the most.
Thank you
I should also add when I first got the back 'pain' I told my Mum after about a month and it was like a huge wait off my shoulder. My problem now is I'm not in pain anywhere so I can't justify my worrying.
I don't want to make a big deal because compared to a few months ago I'm SO much better I just want someone to know I'm a bit anxious about, I hate a big deal being made and if my parents spiral into panic about me having healthy Anxiety it will make me panic.
Right now I'm not worried I have cancer it's just the fear of it in general and getting it in the future.
Your not alone!
I have a massive fear that I'm going to get it or already have it.
Ive always had anxiety but for the past year it has been focused on my health. I get the slightest thing and I fear it's the worse.
I want to be the old me care free me also, it's so frustrating.
I'm on some anxiety tablets after saying I wasn't going to take anything for so long, and going to counciling, anxiety for the better of me and I needed that extra help to think straight again and my whole thought pattern 24/7 was fearing I had cancer or a brain tumour or was about to have a heart attack any second.
The tablets helped a lot and I flow in and out of being anxious, more so in the week when my partner is at work and my children are at school when I'm on my own I tend to think about things if I don't keep myself busy, weekends seem to be better when we are out as a family doing things taking my mind off it.
I have also stopped googling symptoms as it's the worst possible thing to do and makes you 10000x worse.
With anxiety if you make yourself think you have a pain in your arm, anxiety makes the pain appear.
It messes with your mind and makes things happen that you can't control.
Once you accept the symptoms of anxiety it gets a hell of a lot better, knowing you are winning and not letting it take over your life.
When you feel your mind slipping into those thoughts, do something silly like scream or sing really loud, or run up and down the stairs, anything crazy and it's goes. It's a constant fight with your mind but once your in control it's a whole lot better. I'm here anytime to talk!
JADE x
You are definitely not alone. I stress majorly over the fact that I have a brain tumor because that is what I lost my mom to 6 years ago. I'm currently 20 and I do have the worst of my anxiety right now but I'm seeking for help. The biggest thing I can stress to you is don't wait to reach out to your family, or friends or school councilor or different councilor.. don't hold it in. You are definitely not alone don't worry, it does get better. Try down loading meditation apps or nature calming noise apps that changes your direction or thought and calms you down. Meditation is the key and definitely is changing my life! Hope this kinda helped!