Health anxiety-obsession with cancer, help!

[nh_user_973058]

Hi all,

I'm a 28 year old female, I suffer from severe anxiet, panic attacks and depression. I also think I have a form of OCD where if I get a bothersome thought in my head it becomes an obsession and I cannot stop thinking about it, it will dominate my whole day. Anyways a little background into my life- I was always a worry wort since I was a child, as a kid I remember thinking I had cancer and the dr telling me the reason for my headaches was I needed glasses. When I became a teenager I feel like the health anxiety wasn't as prominent. When I started dating my ex, we were young, about 19 and six months later he was diagnosed with lung cancer. I stayed with him for five years until he passed and weirdly enough I didn't worry about having or getting cancer too much when we were together and I was taking care of him. I was more terrified of losing him and once I did it was rough but eventually I got through it and met someone new but then I developed a terrible fear of losing anyone else close to me. Now I'm kind of over that and the past six months I've been worried about getting cancer again because I started smoking again, I quit for a long time but I started smoking when I was about 17. I'm not sure if my anxiety stems from my boyfriends moms current cancer. She has a really aggressive skin cancer and literally now has a hole in her face half her nose is gone top lip etc. it also keeps coming back they are trying to do radiation etc. this has been going on for the last year but this summer is when it has gotten much worse. She is now on a feeding tube and just the whole situation terrifies me. It's like traumatizing to watch someone go through this.

Anyway here are all my current health anxieties going on- I had a blue purple bump on the inside of my moutg on the cheek for about two months, it didn't hurt but it wouldn't go away. The dentist said he didn't suspect cancer but if it didn't go away he'd refer me to the oral surgeon to look at it. It didn't go away so I went to the oral surgeon last week and he also said it didn't look like cancer but he said let's just take it off so you don't have to worry about it anymore And they send all biopsies to the lab. So I see him in about another week and will find out the results then. The other thing I was worried about was a mole on my arm. I felt like it was starting to change color in one spot and was irregularly shaped. So I finally went to dermatologist and he wasn't too worried about it but he said since it was irregularly shaped he wanted to take it off and have it tested to be on the safe side. So now I am waiting on those results as well. Then I also have a small swollen lymph node on the back of my neck it's been there atleast a month and a half went to the dr she doesn't suspect cancer and did blood and my blood was fine. She checked my groin and underarms and felt no other swollen nodes. Now for some reason I was feeling around my body the other night around the space between my armpit and breast and thought I felt something, I keep feeling it in comparison to the other side and freaked out because now i feel like the area feels tender. Am I losing my mind? How do others deal with this when the anxiety is so real and the fear is so overwhelming? I feel like I see csncer everywhere and I am just terrified. All I want is to be healthy and live to a ripe old age. Sorry for such a long post but I had a lot to get off my chest. Thank you.

[nh_user_996220]

I know how you feel, I've anxiety for awhile. It's severe to. I always obsess about my heart. Even though I'm 16 and should have a normal heart, and always played sports. It really bothers me the chest pains, the arm pain, and paplitations. I know how you feel about cancer it went for months when I thought I had it, because I would always read think things about moles, and I kept thinking it was getting bigger, to the point that I thought everythng was wrong with me. My doctor said that weird rashes and bumps could be caused by anxiety. That relived me about some thinkgs. Try not to think about it as much, and tell yourself positive things, and usually things are caused by stress and are haarmless. Hope this helps. Try not to stress about things. Just thing they are caused by anxiety, because they usually are.

[nh_user_973058]

Hi Michelle, thanks so much for your response it helps knowing people that understand. I know what you mean about the heart stuff, your much younger than me, about your age a little older is when I had my first panic attack and would worry about my heart as well. The first one I had I definetly thought it was a heart attack. Now I'm getting older and just thinking god I smoked for a long time is there cancer about to happen, yet I smoked because of the anxiety of that makes sense- sometimes it is the only way I feel I am relax. But I just signed up for the gym and they have Zumba classss which I like so I figure maybe that will help me as an anxiety reducer instead of the smoking. I just feel like I see cancer everywhere and it's just such an obsession about getting it. That's where I think the OCD may come in where I obsessively keep checking my body for stuff. I don't want to live like this I'm just terrified the zoloft seemed to be helping with my health obsessions but the past few days not so much.

[nh_user_963132]

You are over anxious and when you get your results back you will feel much better.

Mole changes should always be checked if they change shape or colour, lumps can prove to be fat, and can be removed, the stuff that comes out is like a cream cheese with little or no blood, If you feel a Lymph node and it starts to get bigger again see your GP.

Because of Anxiety you need help and some CBT so you can come to terms with not only your loss also your health problems as anyone can see you are really concerned regards your health and daughter who is not being very supportive, although I would feel She must be carrying a load like you. 

Talk to your GP, 

Good Luck

Keep a hold

B.