Just wondering if anybody else has the same problem as me?
Bit of background
Since my dad passed away with stomach cancer 5 years ago I have been in a constant vicious circle with h/a. The drs say it's understandable as he was told he was all clear at one point after a scan then the next 10 wks he deteriated and then he passed away worst 2 half years of my life watching him going from 17 stone man to about 6 stone and just wanting to die! I was very close to my dad and still struggle most days now.
Well since this I have been constantly at the drs for any ache I'm constantly feeling for unusual lumps or bumps if any of my family/ friends are Ill I go into a mode where I can't function feel sick need the loo instantly. I have not had blood tests done to put my mind at rest for fear of something being seriously wrong I am basically a lunatic and cannot get a grip.
I cannot cope with anything health wise??
I avoid the following
Cancer adverts
HIV anything with this makes me feel physically sick basically anything not curable.
I will ask the dr or drs for constant reassurance or friends and family which I know I do there head in with my concerns.
I also have scenarios in my head where I talk myself into different things and always go to the worst disease possible
I'm going back on citalopram which I have been on and off for 5 yrs absolutely hate taking it feel great for about 2-3 months when come off it then starts to creep back up and depression then sets in with a feeling of helplessness! AGAIN!!
I know that I'm rediculous with health anxiety and anybody who suffers with this will surely no how it feels but I can't stop it... I find myself getting distant from people and just crying mostly because I know I am out of control and I can't stop it!
Anyway anyone out there who feels the same as I do feel free to msg l😩
Oh, Claire. I am so sorry about your dad. It's obvious that you both were incredibly close. It sounds as though you've been going through your anxiety and feelings pretty much alone. I would definitely suggest that you continue your medication if it helps (citalopram gave me more panic attacks, though, so make sure it does help--otherwise try a different one). But, please consider talking to someone. I went through a very bad health situation three years ago from which I am still trying to recover. I started seeing a therapist two-and-a-half years ago. I would be completely lost without her. She has reallly saved my life. I interviewed a few therapists and I just knew that the fit was right with her. Before my illness, I was completely healthy; after this illness (stroke-like illness) started I was so filled with panic, migraines and other pains, cognitive difficulties, weird feelings in my body. I had many tests (MRI, CAT Scan, EEG, blood, more--no results found). Anyway, this illness continues with no answer. It's been an incredibly difficult time and my therapist has been there with me. Please consider talking to someone. It helps immensely! All my best to you.
Hi claire,
This is very typical behaviour of PTSD. I too would recommend a therapist who you are comfortable with. Let it all out, Im sorry about your father, these things do scar you for a while. I would recommend you start taking Vit D on a regular basis to help with the depression and exercise regularly to relax.
I wish you all the best friend.
Regards
Hi Claire.
I have health anxiety but it wasn't brought on by the passing of a family member. With which I'm sorry to hear.
It will help you to let it all out, but in a way that you will find easy. Personally, I find talking to someone I don't know easier than someone I do, which is why therapists are great people to talk to. You will not be judged and you certaiy won't be told that you are over reacting. Mental health is very delicate and these people know that.
Try to get a referral from your GP or if you work your manager may be able to sort something.
Good luck to you
Dear Claire,
I hope you are feeling better. I just want to mention one product that helped me through this time in my life. It is the Bach Rescue Remedy Spray. It just gave me a slight feeling of calmness--not as much as a prescription drug would, of course, but it is OTC and did help me some without any side effects. Perhaps it would help you a bit. All my best to you. I do hope that things are improving. Much love.
Hi, thank you for replying and your advice it's much appreciated.
Yes I started off on the remedy it worked ok for a while while also taking 6 kalms a day haha! Guess I'm just going to have to stick to citalopram that's the only thing that keeps me sort of Sain! 😩 x x
Thank you for your advice it's good to know I'm not alone as that is how I feel with this health anxiety.
After reading what other people have put about a therapist I seriously will start looking!! My friends and family are great but don't understand how it makes you feel.. So isolated and just focused on illness it's no life and I get mad with myself as I feel I'm wasting it worrying but like you said therapy sounds the way forward and hopefully a light at the end of the tunnel 🙏
Hi mo
Thanks for your comment and for vitamin advice think I've got some actually somewhere Its like a chemist at mine 
got a bit of everything haha
I'm so sorry to hear about your problem to Elisabeth it's so frustrating when an answer can't be found.
Mind goes into overdrive and takes over.. Well mine does but going to start the tablets again now and speak to the gp about a therapist? Or seriously thinking just going private as I bet the waiting lists are long!
It's nice to talk to people who have been/gone through the same anxiety issues.
It's always something that starts it off e.g
Dad-cancer
Boyfriend- Guilian barre syndrome for 8 months
Boyfriend- abscess in throat which burst and hospitalised for 2 wk sicking up blood along with veins collapsing and being put into icu
Boyfriend- lost lot of weight found out had
over active thyroid now it's under active
Boyfriend - now has pain in left lower abdomen and back dr says sciatica could scream!!
Hahaha awww gotta laugh or I'll cry..
I've got a scan when letter arrives for abdomen dr says lypomas fatty lumps but my brain is saying other things... Seriously struggle to cope.
Sorry for long post think it helps to write down 😰
Thanks again x
Hello Claire I don't think you said how old you were but please do all you can to stop this worrying! I am 66 and I have been like you since I was 5 ! If I saw the "nit nurse" in school I went into a panic! It's been a life wasted on what ifs ! I won't ramble incase you have been "sorted" and no longer use this site.
Hi Claire
I can identify so much with what you have said. A long time ago I lost my mother when I was 23 I had my first panic attack at her funeral and anxiety took over my life, then turning to alcohol. I'm now 56 and nearly 25 years sober but within the last 4 years I lost a sister and my brother within 18 months of each other. I myself, cycle and run but I'm back and forward to the docs, he said all my tests (more than most people) were normal, he recommended me for counselling, I'm waiting for a CBT counsellor. I too hate the cancer adds and if any of my family are having tests I freak out. Also I'm now typing this worrying about several serious illnesses I may have. So you are not alone. I really wish I could be normal.
I intend to retire abroad in 2 years and want to get a list of things checked before I do, just in case. :-) :-(
Hello Raymond maybe a daft question but what do you think the REAL worry is? Believe you me I know it's illness but ultimately do you think it's pain, death or what?
Hi Elizabeth, I would say it's a combination, a serious illness and dying......
Hi Elizabeth I know this thread was a while ago but reading your post struck a chord with me Im 41 I've been like this from childhood and has got out of hand now I've had a child I always look back on my life and think I've wasted so many years I'm scared I will waste more have you any advice x x